bizarre celebrations: Clo's NaPo 2009 Thread

This will be the cozy abode of my National Poetry Writing Month poems. I've never done any National Writing Month challenge before, so this is a lot for me! Wish me luck. Especially since I don't consider myself particularly good at poetry at all, but I would like to see myself writing something creative in this busy madness that is my life. Feel free to be harsh at me, darlings.

Love always,

Clo

Thus far:

4.1 these people are fishy
4.2 the greatest times are the most still
4.3 I almost reached nirvana, but then I had dystentary, so there goes that
4.4 I rhymed and the world tidied up
4.5 upon the viewing of some photographs
4.6 sex
4.7 creation & diffusion//The Map is Everything
4.8 you on nerves on love on firing electrons//the loud and everpresent me myself

4.1. these people are fishy

put ten tumbling people in a tiny little room,
shake up all their inside stuff with cups of liquid-love
that stains the rug and glazes eyes, send ‘em spinning
with folded fingers, globs of light
that seep into
numbed nerves,

mouths opened wide

flapping little fishes
sucking in their liquid lifeline--

watch me throw the cup down,
wade away.

4.2. the greatest times are the most still

There’s a lot to be in dread about (the mess in the room, the mess of paperwork,
the sick mess, the messy nature of my writing) but when the sweat of your palm
touches my sweaty palm,

there is calm.

When you push the window open to air out the room (there’s something wrong
behind those walls, but we don’t have the money to fix it) I like how the breeze
washes over our skin,

our breath thin,

listening to music until the night brushes into morning,
nothing else to consider.

Clo-twin! I love yours!

shake up all their inside stuff with cups of liquid-love
that stains the rug and glazes eyes, send ‘em spinning
with folded fingers, globs of light

This is my favorite EVER. -snuggles with it- I love the image of the love, the effect it brings.
You're fantastic.

our breath thin,

This poem is also brilliant, but I love this line. At first it seems awkward, but then it fits because it rhymes, which I really like. I also like the format of the rest of it. The long lines just give it a story kind of feel, which it's great, because it adds to the personal-ness of the poem. -claps-

<3

This one is silly and bad and I apologize for it.

4.3. I almost reached nirvana, but then I had dysentary, so there goes that

'The philosopher more than any other will be happy.'

I have certainly have no desire (none) to separate
my rationality from my irrationality, sir, cos
I quite like my nutritive + appetitive parts,
growing like a weed and subject to passions
& even when one is god-like, contemplating
metaphysical, epistemological,
they are still subject to bad gas.

yes you, Aristotle.

#2 makes me smile.

#3 makes me smile.

Gotta love the word epistemological. And Clo. You realize that I consider you one of the best poets on this site?

-Kylan

This one is silly and bad and I apologize for it

But I love the title!

they are still subject to bad gas.

yes you, Aristotle.

I. LOVE. YOU. TWIN.
<3

I have no words. <3

I tried rhyming today. I usually don't rhyme. I'll go back to being obscene tomorrow.

4.4. I rhymed and the world tidied up

Let’s all just stop feeling, let’s be blank,
let’s leave all our money to rot in the bank.
Let’s stare at each other and smile real bright,
sleep when it’s dark and wake when it’s light.

No longer will emotions play on a face,
we’ll block out the music and even our pace
as we quit with our dancing, turn down the noise,
clearly separating the girls from the boys.

This blank expression we have suits us fine
as we tuck in our shirts and all walk in line
in a world where our little hearts fossilize
and we just stand still under bright skies.

in a world where our little hearts fossilize
and we just stand still under bright skies.

This is my favorite line in the whole piece, but I especially love how the rhyming is serving to accentuate the message of the poetry, twinlove, that's skillful! : D -snuggles-

3.2 is by far my favorite. The subtle rhyming creeps in just like the mood of the poem, and it has to be one of the best poems I've read in a long time. I have to say though, 3.4 sounds so cool and I almost want to steal it and use it in a song or something. With permission, of course...

Keep up the wonderful words. =)

it has different formatting, but Yewis won't let me show it. So.

4.5. upon the viewing of some photographs

the pretty eggplant body sits on thin & towering legs,
hair falling in thick twists upon two polish’d bone shoulders
that rise and fall with empty breaths. I can’t stand to see her
see her in those photographs in every capital east & west
the air between her ears sizzles in the south sun,
her vacant eyes glazing while her mouth curls around,
big cities (hold, love, care) caress her down.

it can be measured how willing I may be to take a spoon
and scoop out every inch of my brain, dispense it on a plate
so I can be so empty-headed but have the eyes to see
every city
every city
take her place and view the world with no intellect
to hold me back, to offend the money’d men,
not to pay a cent to see Los Angeles,
dump out my nerve cells to glimpse Dallas
wear my hair the same for Helsinki.

The description in that was gorgeous, Cloluff. Like, fantastic genius, I'd say.

not to pay a cent to see Los Angeles,
dump out my nerve cells to glimpse Dallas
wear my hair the same for Helsinki.

And this is such a beautiful ending.
Way to be amazingly fantastic.

<3

Not so much of a fan of the rhyming, but I applaud you for trying something new.

3.5 is fun and easily likable. I really enjoy the "eggplant body" image. Good word choice (except for sizzles and glaze; I don't like those two), too.

-Kylan