I'm quite disappointed in myself. I really thought I had reviewed this.
Anyway, I'll remedy that and review this.
Can I be more than I am,
If all the universe together,
Is but dust to the winds of time?
This part is extremely fabulous. I love how you have belittled the greatest thing in existence and made it fall prey to the predator of time. Your play on words here is extremely beautiful. It's so complex whilst being so simple, and so easy to understand. But, but, it's so beautiful! I cannot describe how pretty and wonderful these words are...
...
So much for a good review.
How will we be known,
many years from now?
Okay, now, here's where I get picky. I'm not quite enjoying the usage of "How" before this line, since you're questioning later on with "As". Can you drop the "how", and make this "Will we be known many years from now?"
I understand that you are raising a question in that couplet, but! Try it. It's hard to explain/describe, but maybe you might see what I mean? If it's helpful to you at all.
If not, then just ignore it.
As those who raped the earth,
and gave nothing back?
As people who spilled red blood,
for black oil?
Or perhaps as those,
Who made the world Glow-In-The-Dark?
Your finish is absolutely epic, my friend. Epic, you hear?
SO.
I absolutely loved this. From start to finish, line by line. There's nothing in the words of this that I would change; you're giving a great eye-opener to us here, and it's wonderful, dear.
I absolutely love the first part. It's so wonderful, putting everything into such minimal importance, yet! As we come to the ending of this, we're seeing the weight of the crimes we commit on earth, and it's just wonderful the way you have transitioned everything here. The way you've written this-- in all of it's complex simplicity-- is absolutely, breathtakingly amazing.
Also. I would choose a favorite work by you, but you keep writing and making that impossible so... Yeah. Difficult.
Juniper
