My name is Helpful McHelpfulpants. I'm here to help.

No, the TRUTH of the matter is...

HELPFUL MCHELPFULPANTS really quite likes you, but secretly hates your guts. Or is it the other way around? She is young and confused and fond of pineapples in theory but not in practice; she also enjoys rhyming a little more than is healthy, because of an incident in her youth involving a cactus. She has a dog, and a third eye, and schizophrenia. She finds it frustratingly difficult to lift individual eyebrows. She prefers reading to listening and has hated tactile learners ever since one kicked her in the head. She is too lazy to remember the existence of tact, boundaries, or common decency. She talks just like this. No, really. JUST LIKE THIS. With the capital letters, even.

Which is as much to say, she's not really in a position to help anyone, let alone the implied you.

Have a nice day!

P.S. I copied the above description, with the exception of the screenname. If someone recognizes it I will be intensely amused.

Ummm....
Hi, my name is Rhee, welcome to the forum - ?
*quietly regains composure*
Gee, you sound very...enthusiastic. I'll bet five points you're the Vice President of the international Brady Bunch fan club (motto: Aw, my nose!).

Anyways...
Here are the main rules at YWS:
1. Chatspeak is discouraged. Capital letters (like the ones you talk in, no?) don't count.
2. We have a 2:1 review ratio - for every piece you submit, you need to post at least two three-line reviews.
3. We don't allow cacti to join, so fortunately you won't have to relive your childhood (unless of course you write rhyming poetry).

If you have any questions, or rambling, slightly amusing narratives about your experiences with tactile learners, be sure to PM me, okay? :]

I watched the Brady Bunch once, as a very small child. It was nothing that several dozen viewings of the Addams Family couldn't repair, psychologically. So that was good!

Thank you for the Kind Welcome, sir or madam. I am enjoying my stay already. =D

Good, we like to hear that.

I guess I'll welcome you to our crazed, vampire, (I mean,) fun, loving website.

Hi! I'm peanutgallery007, but I like people to call me Peanut. Since Rhesus already explained the rules, I guess I can tell you about color coded names;

Black; normal members, like us! (so far )

Blue; Greeters. They greet the newbies and welcome them into YWS... I'm not a greeter, sorry!

Purple; Instructors. They give awesome reviews and teach you how to be a better writer overall. They sometimes even have classes!

Light Green; Junior Moderators. They are assigned forums to look after and make sure everyone in that forum follows the rules. They make sure their assigned forum is running smoothly.

Dark Green; Moderators. Moderators look after any/ all forums. They make sure all of YWS is running smoothly.

Red; Administrators. They are very powerful and also look after YWS. Do not be afraid! They are all very nice if you follow the rules.

Orange; Distinguished Members. Since I still can't explain it, this is the official definition of them;

There is only one way to become a distinguished member: becoming a moderator and leaving the mod squad honorably. All distinguished members are those who are no longer active on YWS, but nevertheless have left their mark on the site.

You can apply to be a Greeter or an Instructor, but not anything else. I hope this helps you out. PM me if you ever need a review, have questions, or just want to talk! Bye!

Hiya and welcome!

Actually, caps-lock is discouraged on YWS. We ask you use proper grammar, spelling and caps. ^_^

Also, we have a little requirement that you rate your works! Rated works, unless rated R, show up on the front page of YWS. You might even get more comments. Rated R works have the f-word and/or graphic scenes.

What genres do you write?

If you have any questions, PM me.

~Rosey

Are you DISCRIMINATING against my speech - er, typing - impediment? *horrors*

I have rated my very first poem. I wasn't quite sure what category to put it in; I chose Lyric since it's written in first person and essentially a request, but that might be inaccurate.

I write... fantasy and fiction mostly, speaking prosaically, haha. Some science fiction, some historical fiction, some nonfiction. I could pretty accurately be described as a dabbler.

I know where you copied the description from now. It is from gogollescent's user profile on livejournal. I gotcha! You gotta love Google.

And now you know who I am on livejournal, too. Well done. *bows*

For some reason, I recognize, even though I don't use Live Journal. I swear, I have heard of it somewhere.

Heya Helpful! Welcome to YWS!

Since it seems every beat me here, I'll go over the groups we have on YWS. We have many groups, from random ones like "Matt's Happy Place" to writing groups, like "Double-Trouble Writing Huddle". Based off of your interests, you can choose which groups you would like to join.

If you would like a review, care to chat, or have a question, feel free to PM me.

good to meet you but be warned, mcdonalds will have your head for your username

Helpful McHelpfulpants wrote:And now you know who I am on livejournal, too. Well done. *bows*

Hmmm...was that some sort of subtle plug?

Heavens forbid I use a SUBTLE plug.

GO CHECK OUT MY LIVEJOURNAL GUYS I JUST KNOW YOU WILL LOVE TO READ OF MY EXPLOITS IN THE GRAND AND GLORIOUS WORLD OF... um... CAPSLOCKING.

And I'm not scared of McDonald's. I am pretty scared of Mr. Beth McBeth, though. D: