'The Chosen One' is a story I'm currently writing, this is the first chapter in the story. I hope you like it
Anyway, thanks for all comments and critiques!
*********************************************
Preface
The thin, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl about the age of fourteen with the large basket that seemed to be full of old rags, stood on the edge of the street.
Her name was Angelique, and she was a witch.
She got ready to run as fast as she could across the street from the park to a lonely-looking house on the other side of the street, all the while her eyes darted around the park as if she thought some monster was going to jump out from behind a bush and strangle her and when she decided no one was looking she ran as fast as she could toward the creepy house. She didn’t seem to know that just behind her a strange man crouched in a bush followed her all the way across the street, staying to the shadows so the girl couldn’t see him. When she reached the house the man got up, brushed himself off and followed her to the house then stood outside and looked through the window and into the room it lead into.
Inside the room an old woman sat in a rocking chair across from an even older-looking, stone fireplace. That was it. No pictures on the walls, no rugs on the floor, not even another window in the room.
Then the girl named Angelique came bursting through the door along with a cold blast of January wind.
“Welcome, Angelique, I thought you’d never come.” The old woman spoke with a dry, cracked voice that sounded as if it hadn’t been used in years.
“I always come though, don’t I?” Angelique asked.
“Of course you do. What’s in the basket? Or better yet, who is in the basket?” The old woman asked, keeping her gaze locked on the basket.
Angelique looked taken aback, "How did you know?”
The woman only smiled and said,” Dear, Angelique, you should know by now that I know almost everything.”
Angelique looked angry now,” Then where are my parents?” she shouted at the old woman knowing she wouldn’t get an answer but Angelique didn’t care, she only cared about where her parents might be.
The old woman frowned and looked disappointed,” Angelique, did I not just say I knew almost everything? I thought you were intelligent or at least had some education.”
“ I have plenty of intelligence!” Angelique pointed to her head for emphasis,” You said that if I brought Her here then you’d tell me-!” Angelique was cut off when the old woman held up her hand for silence.
The old woman was staring at the basket like it held water from the Fountain of Youth, and without breaking her gaze away from the basket asked Angelique,” Do you have Her in the basket?”
“I thought you knew everything. Don’t you?” Angelique mocked.
The old woman snapped her head up and glared at Angelique,” Yes, I do know most things. Important things, things I have to tell you. Now, Angelique, is she in there or not?”
Angelique looked at her feet and so softly that almost no one could hear said,” Yes, she’s in there,” then she looked up and stared at the old woman with her ice blue eyes and said,” I won’t let you take her, you can’t take her. Not like you took me.” Angelique looked down at the sleeping baby girl in the basket and sighed,” If you take her, I won’t let you live. You know that?”
The old woman’s eyes softened,” Angelique, I took you away for your own good. I can’t tell you where your parents are because they’re not in this universe. And I must take the baby, she is in grave danger.”
Angelique looked startled,” What do you mean ‘not in this universe’?” She asked the woman.
“I can’t tell you now. We have very limited time and there are more important things to discuss. Listen carefully, Angelique, and don’t interrupt,” the old woman spoke quickly and urgently, only stopping to take a breath or two at a time,” This child is the One, the Chosen One, you must take her to a family who knows nothing of our kind. She will grow up there and when she turns ten, well before she will come into her full powers, you will begin to watch over her and keep her safe from danger. You are her guardian Angelique, and when she’s sixteen and does begin to come into her full powers you will introduce yourself and become her friend, make yourself a powerful influence in her life. Don’t let her know about her powers and who you really are until you’re sure she’s ready to know.” The old woman stopped and looked up at Angelique seriously before going on,” What you have been assigned to do won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. And remember, this child is the Chosen One, the One destined to save our kind, and you’re the witch responsible for protecting her,” the old woman smiled at Angelique and said,” Go with my blessing, granddaughter.”
Angelique was shocked, she couldn’t believe this old hag could ever be someone’s grandmother, especially hers,” No. Y-you can’t be. That’s not true! You’re lying!”
“Ssh, I know it’s hard to believe but it’s true, I-,” she broke off abruptly and looked out the window,” Angelique, did you tell anyone where you were going?”
“Yea, like I have any friends to tell,” Angelique said. When the old woman looked confused Angelique let out an exasperated sigh and said,” I was being sarcastic. God, are you so old that you don’t know what sarcasm is?”
“Yes, I know what sarcasm is,” she said,” I just thought that you would be honest, especially since you have the One in that basket,” Angelique looked down at the basket and the old woman said,” I take it that you didn’t tell anyone you were coming here. In that case, run. Someone’s watching us, get out of here as fast as you can. I’ll devise a spell that will cover your tracks and stall your stalker. Remember what I told you, Angelique.” Angelique nodded and headed toward the door.
“Oh, and Angelique?” Angelique turned around and faced the woman that was her grandmother,” Don’t come back here. Ever.”
Angelique looked at her grandmother for what would probably be the last time and said,” Yes, ma’am.” Then she turned to head for the door and ran out into the cold, unforgiving darkness, leaving her very old grandmother to fend of the stalker by herself. Then, Angelique felt something odd, she felt tears welling in her eyes as she ran as fast as she could into the darkness toward what she hoped would be a safe place for the small, sleeping baby girl in the basket.
we could discuss it.