Pirouette's

Hey, I was to bored so I decided write about pirouette’s. If you are a dancer and know how to do them tips\videos\sites for it will be great. Thanks! :]

**Note: For those of you who don’t know what pirouette’s are, it is basically a jazz spin that most kinds of dancers do. Pirouettes vary from 1 spin to 36 spins over and over and over again. It looks easy but is hard. It takes about a month’s worth of traning to get it down properly. And that’s WITH a dance teacher. I don’t even have one…well yet.**

Ugh. I try practicing doing another pirouette but fail miserably. I want to get it down before I start my jazz classes…if I start my jazz classes.
“C’mon. Think up, not around, up!” I caution myself, while spinning round and round like a top.
This is so fustrating! I’ve tried about ten times, and just keep on falling flat on my face.
Maybe I’ll never get it down.
There is still hope though.
I hop up onto the computer, and type in “Pirouette’s.”
The first search comes up and I click on it.
After reading I try out another pirouette, and get no signs of improvement.
I sigh knowing there is no point in looking on Wiki and instead go on YouTube for better motivation.
I type in “Pirouette’s” and get millions of videos.
I click on the first one.
“This video is no longer avaliable”
Great.
I try the next one.
“This video is no longer avaliable”
And the next…
“This video is no longer avalaible”
Okay, now I’m pissed off.
I get the sudden impulse to throw the computer out of the window, but then change my mind quickly, thinking of my mom’s reaction.
One more try…just uno more.
I take a deep breath and get in the right position and then passe.
I do one and…oh my God!
I don’t fall.
It wasn’t perfect but I got it down without losing my balance.
Now I’m really happy and do it one more time.
I feel a smile light up my face.
Maybe dos?
I try doing two spins and…
I don’t get two…but I succeed in one and a half!
Maybe with a bit more practice, and a bit more hard work, I might just be able to do a few more than one.


Ahahaha I hope you guys liked it.
Yes, this true, and I actually did get my one pirouette down while writing this.
Hopefully I’ll be able to do more later. :]

Hmmmmm. I just wanted to give you a quick lesson on apostrophes.

Matt's dog: This needs an apostrophe. The apostrophe signifies possession. The dog belongs to Matt. Another way to say this is "The dog of Matt."

Pirouette's: This should simply be pirouettes, no apostrophe. The apostrophe isn't needed because the pirouette isn't owning anything.
You only need an "s" at the end. And "s" at the end indicates that a word is plural.

Understand a little more?

Hope this helped,
~~~Sakura~~~

Hey there! I'm Hannah. ^_^

Well, let's get right down to it. The first time I read through it, I could definitely feel some of the emotion behind it peeking out. It was a pretty good description, but the events were kind of lack luster. It did, however, make me go look up how to pirouette on youtube, which means that it has that kind of immediate effect on people who are tuned in to it. I'm tuned in to it because I have a deep respect for dancing and wish I could be decent at dancing. C: To others, however, I think you need to draw the reader in more.

To make this a really great piece, I recommend pursuing it, because I can see that you have a determination for this new experience and I think if you polished it up it could express that.

Here are some tips I have:

Since this is non-fiction, feel free to make some of it specific, but not all of it. For example, I feel like putting in the names of 'wiki' and 'youtube' just really bring the focus to those specific websites and off the point of your story, not to mention making it seem more about the names and the time period than the other point of the story. That's an example of a detail that I don't think fits your story.

There are points where I want more details though! For example:

“C’mon Anantta. Think up, not around, up!” I caution myself, while spinning round and round like a top.

This is so fustrating! I’ve tried about ten times, and just keep on falling flat on my face.

'round like a top' and 'falling flat on my face' are both examples of phrases that are really over used and can be substituted with original description. If you wanted to, you could put some similes here that you come up with {ie. NOT spinning like a top}. Otherwise describe exactly what the actions were. Why did you fall? What specific action or inaction made it so the pirouette didn't work?

I kind of like the part where you keep trying videos that don't work, but maybe you could say your reaction to each? If you just say it the way you said it, it doesn't really have that much purpose. Unless your message is that your determination, fueled by anger, is what helped you do the pirouettes in the end?

Okay, now I’m pissed off.

I get the sudden impulse to throw the computer out of the window, but then change my mind quickly, thinking of my mom’s reaction.

One more try…just uno more.

I mean, this is your piece, so it's about what you want it to be about. If I'm suggestion a direction that definitely doesn't work for you, then just ignore me and keep it going how you want, but if you take this to a dance-oriented direction, you don't need to talk about outside things like 'my mom'. That takes the reader away from the scene, in my opinion.

And throwing in little snippets of a different language is kind of weird.

Over all, I like this piece, but I think you could do a lot more with it, if you wished. It's a good basis to work from! Make sure to go through and edit it as well. A few words were misspelled. ^_^ Good start! Keep writing!

Please feel free to PM me or leave a note in my guestbook if you have any questions or if you need reviews on anything else! <3

-Hannah-

Hey, I don't do dance, but I know what a pirouette is. Since I'm in gymnastics, I learned about them once. They are hard, I agree with that. So, anyways...

Here is the one error I found:

I feel a smile light up my face.

Shouldn't this be I feel a smile light up my face. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, I'm tired.

I enjoyed your story!

I liked, it all in all.

“This video is no longer avalaible”
Okay, now I’m pissed off.
I get the sudden impulse to throw the computer out of the window, but then change my mind quickly, thinking of my mom’s reaction.
One more try…just uno more.

My only real problem was here. Considering what was happening before, when you said you were going to give "it" one more try, I thought you were referring to clicking on videos. Even though it's obvious afterwards what you meant, I think you should say you mean pirouettes.

Bt it's good. I liked the short, simple flow of it.