Tom Blanco in the School Under Siege

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Chapter 2: The Great Escape
Drachunt swore at the top of his voice. He stood there for several minutes, letting the anger come into him. How could this have happened? He had thought things through with his followers for months. He had made sure that every little detail was done correctly and after all that he had failed. He had never failed before. It had always been others who had failed, never him. He felt humiliation. It burned inside him. If only his parents could see him now. How they would be disappointed. They expected their boy to be the best. Never second, always first.
The thought of his parents made Drachunt’s eyes fill with tears. How he missed them. But they betrayed him. His own family betrayed him. They turned him in and had helped the Authoriters previously. They had lost his trust, because they mingled with the Justice Fighters, his sworn enemy
Drachunt’s mind suddenly came back to the present. Now he had failed he was looking back at all the negatives of his life. He had to focus on the good things. The power, the victories, and the sense of pride. His mind was now fully on the present. He was back to the now.
He could not destroy the boy, or his idiotic parents. Months of planning had been ruined. He had intended to kill the boy, and make his parents watch as he died, and then move onto the adults, but they had fooled him. No one had ever fooled Count Drachunt and they were going to pay. He would hunt them down, even if it was the last thing he ever did.
Anger streamed through him. Anger beyond anything he had ever felt or imagined. But he had to concentrate. He couldn’t worry about it. He had the Authoriters to deal with. They were here and he would have to fight them single-handed. Then he would search for the traitors. He didn’t have any help, for he had told his followers to seek refuge until he came to them. They would not know what had happened. He could not call them or contact them in any way, for the Authoriters would surely capture him straight away. He couldn’t risk it. Even if it worked, his followers may be put in jail. He wouldn’t put his friends in danger. Drachunt valued their lives. He would have to call them later. He felt confident that they were safe, for they were all very good Grevers, with great prestigious skill. Nothing on him, but he would gladly have had their help right now. They were faultless as a team. He had trained them himself and taught them some of his own tricks, like how to not let the enemy know scared you really are. It’s all about the image you present.
Drachunt exited the room, and stepped over the rubble near the door. He looked back at the living room and saw the devastation he had caused. He was about to cause more devastation to the Authoriters in front of him.
His face hardened as he saw the ten Authoriters waiting for him. They were in front of the school gates opposite the house. They must have been hiding there all along. How could he have overlooked them? He should have made sure that no one was there. It was a basic error and Drachunt never made basic errors.
They were standing with their Greves by their side in a perfect horizontal line about ten metres from Drachunt. A man in the centre stepped forward. Drachunt had heard a description of this guy from one of his followers: he was the great Authoriter Richard James, who was wearing navy blue tracksuit bottoms with a matching top. The top had the Authoriter coat of arms embroidered onto it. Sebastian had hazel eyes and thick, wavy brown hair. He had a plump face with a long nose. Drachunt also recognized the man on the end of the row, Sebastian Wright. Drachunt had fought Sebastian a couple of months back. Sebastian still had plenty of the injuries from Drachunt’s last assault. Several severe wounds were scared on his stomach. He had been saved from death only by an urgent call from one of Drachunt’s followers, who had told Drachunt he needed to go immediately. Drachunt hadn’t been very happy but had gone, sparing Sebastian’s life. He was lucky, for if Drachunt had had time then Sebastian would have been slaughtered. Never mind, that would happen tonight, he thought. They’ll all be dead after I’m finished with them. This would be an example for the rest of the justice fighters. After this no one would dare oppose him. He would have conquered everyone. He would be able to relax for the rest of his life. After all, he was only twenty-eight. Considering what he had done, and that he was so young, he was a great Grever anyway, but this would make him the Greatest.
The thought of this made a small smile curl his mouth. Then he looked at the rest of the Authoriters and it vanished as soon as it had come. This would be his greatest victory over the Justice Fighters, perhaps the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
But what surprised Drachunt was that near the middle of the line of people in front of him, their faces in shadow, but unmistakeably them, was his greatest enemies, Tom and Katie Blanco. The sight of them pleased Drachunt, for he knew where they were and would soon kill them tonight. They looked up and locked eyes with Drachunt. They had a score to settle with Drachunt, and he knew why.
Ever since Drachunt had gathered followers he had sought out close relations to Luke and Katie Blanco, and had destroyed them, himself. He had taken enormous pleasure in destroying their whole families, starting with the parents, then moving onto the cousins, and other members of the family. The Count smiled at the man and woman, who still stared stonily back at them.
Richard stepped forward. He was a very impressive figure. He was a great fighter and Drachunt had tried to recruit him when he first gained power and several times afterwards as well. Sebastian had refused. He was a fool, just like the other traitors who had evaded him tonight, and he would soon learn that he had chosen the wrong side to fight for. He didn’t know it, but Drachunt had a few cunning ideas that would wrong foot the Authoriters and confuse them. They wouldn’t know what had hit them.
“You can’t get away, Count”, Richard said simply. “There are ten of us and only one of you. We have the best Authoriters here from all over the world. They have been specially trained to take you on, and they are going to win, make no mistake about it. You are about to be put in prison for the rest of your life. You’ll rot in a prison cell, knowing that ten Authoriters took you down and you couldn’t do a thing about it. The thought of us is going to make you fall asleep at night. You are going to dream about us. You will go mad knowing that we defeated you, and we will be remembered in history as being better than you. The fact of the matter is that it is impossible for you to defeat us.”
“But surely you have realized that I am the greatest Grever ever to live. The feats that I have achieved you and your little friends only dream about. You are weak and do not look for power, whereas I know what is good, and what id bad. I have sought power and now find myself millimetres from the head of all Grevers across the world. All that faces me is you. You really think that you can stop me? And as for all of this stuff of me being in prison, how many times have I escaped from all of the devices that you have tried to keep me in. I think that once I’m finished with you, you won’t ever dream again. You’re going to be sleeping with the angels tonight, or even the devil himself. I am surprised that there are only ten of you. You’ll need an army to take me on, the great Count Drachunt.”
Drachunt knew he could win. He had his greve with him and that was all he needed. His trusty weapon had never failed him yet. It was unstoppable. He was surprised they even challenge him with their useless weapons. He had the ultimate weapon. Theirs were only mediocre. He would soon be with his followers again.
As though reading Drachunt’s mind, Richard said, “By the way, count”, he emphasized the last word, “We’ve rounded up all of your followers. Our spy came to us at once and told us what you were about to do and where your hideout was. We’ve known for months all your plans. We’ve had inside information. We’ve also found the spies you implanted into our societies and organizations. Everyone connected with you has been rounded up. Even if you defeat us, its still you against the rest of the Grever community. We’ve had a thousand more volunteers join us in the last month. You have lost a thousand in a month. Can’t you tell the sun is setting on you. It is rising on a safe and secure environment. No more disturbances and weird things happening. Your time is over.”
The news about the spy surprised Drachunt. He trusted all of his followers. He had chosen them himself. This couldn’t be true. The hatred swelled in him. This was the last straw. How dare they say that his time was done. It was just the beginning. They were now about to find out what its truly like to try and defeat Count Drachunt.
He could defeat all of these Authoriters. It would be difficult but he would be able to do it. He would just have to time his attacks to perfection. In the end they would all lay on the ground, slain and defeated. They would be humiliated one by one.
Drachunt looked at all the Authoriters in turn. They all looked as though they were willing to die. Anyone would have been intimidated by them. They stood up straight with their heads in the air. They knew what they had to do. They had probably studied Drachunt’s fighting style for weeks. However, Drachunt knew that there was always a weak link in everything. He wasn’t scared of these mere humans. He was a god and these were his enemies. He raised his Greve high above his head with one hand and brought it down, crushing the air.
“Slashio”, he screamed. Drachunt thought that at least one of the enemies would have been injured. However, the Authoriters reacted instantly. They parted their line and started forward but then Drachunt noticed that he had injured someone, who was hunched at the back of the crowd of Authoriters. He was clutching his leg, where blood was oozing slowly from the gash. A dark patch emerged on his navy tracksuit. He fell to the ground trying to stop the flow of blood. Drachunt watched him get paler and paler until he fell into unconsciousness. His head hit the floor with a dull thud!
Another Authoriter shot a curse at Drachunt.
“Freezo”, the man had shouted. Drachunt dived to his left and landed hard on his elbow, which slid on the tarmac and tore his robe, leaving a wound on Drachunt’s skin. Drachunt himself had not uttered a sound as his skin scraped along the ground. He was master of pain. He knew how to control it. Several months of agony had taught him so.
The curse missed Drachunt and hit the rubble near the door, which instantly froze over and flew up into the air. It fell down and shattered. It looked as though shards of glass lay on the floor.
“You’ll have to do better than that”, Drachunt taunted at the man.
A woman stepped towards the man on her left and whispered something in his ear. The man listened then nodded and grabbed the woman under the armpits as if to lift her up. The other Authoriters covered them whilst this happened. They formed a circle around the two people, facing outwards towards Drachunt. They all had the look of wanting justice in their eyes. Years ago that look might have frightened Drachunt, but he had seen much nastier things that the looks on these peoples faces. The things that he had seen and done would frighten them more than him.
“Flygo”, the man shouted.
It was like watching a human transformation into a bird. The man sprouted wings from his back in slow motion, spread them wide and started to flap them, lifting the woman into the air with him. The two flew into the air, twenty feet above Drachunt.
The woman directed her Greve at Drachunt.
“Flamar”, she said to the night. Instantly, a jet of fire flew towards Drachunt. Any contact with Drachunt and he would have been burnt to a crisp. Instead of burning him however, he held his Greve up towards the flame and it absorbed the shot of flame, which he shot back at them. It hit the woman in the face and her neck upwards turned to ash. The man holding her looked horrified. He looked down at her neck and all he saw was red blood. The blood overflowed from her neck, spilling onto the mans hands and clothes. He looked petrified. He hadn’t expected this. No one had.
Drachunt shot the winged man with his Greve next. The curse hit his right wing, which was hacked off instantly. He gave a grunt of pain and shot towards the earth. The woman’s corpse came crushing down with him. There was a thump as they both hit the ground. Instantly the man lay motionless, sprawled across the road, a pond of blood surrounding him and the woman at his side. The blood was both of theirs, as the woman’s neck was still spurting out blood. Feathers were combined with the blood from the mans broken wing.
Three down, seven to go, Drachunt thought. So far, so good.
Richard James stepped forward from the end of the line. He walked along the line into the middle, in front of the rest of his colleagues.
“You may have defeated a few of us, but you cannot win; you are outnumbered and out skilled,” he called to Drachunt.
“Outnumbered, yes, but not out skilled”, Drachunt replied shrugging his shoulders, “And you know it.”
As Drachunt said this a look of fury crossed Richard’s face. He glared into Drachunt’s cold blue eyes, and then he pulled up his sleeve and pointed his Greve at Drachunt.
“Caprum”, he shouted.
For once Drachunt was too slow. Before Richard had even finished uttering the curse, ropes had sprung out of nowhere behind Drachunt and had instantly coiled themselves around his struggling body. He twisted and turned and tried to get out of the ropes but they just got tighter and tighter. In his attempt to free himself, he tripped over his wriggling feet and fell to the ground, writhing in pain, for the ropes carried electric energy, which was surging through his body. His Greve fell from his hand and rolled towards Richard’s feet.
Richard stopped the roll with his feet. He bent down and picked up the wooden weapon. He had won. Ambling over to Drachunt, he looked over his struggling form and whispered, “so much for needing an army. It looks like you have been out skilled, Count Drachunt. Not so great now are you? I expected more of a fight from you, but that was too easy. You’ll be imprisoned for the rest of your life, and this time you won’t break out. Good has triumphed over evil. After twelve years of murders and disappearing, you are finally brought to justice by Richard Bradley James.” He took a pause after every name.
Richard began to laugh. The sound sickened Drachunt. He had to get at Richard. He had to hit that smug face. He had not won. Fury was going to win, not justice. He used the fury at Richard and his own strength to break through the ropes binding him. They fell from him, and he stood up. He held out his hand and his Greve flew into his palm, while Richard looked on, amazed. He had never encountered power such as this.
“Impressive”, Richard said to Drachunt. “Very Impressive.” He didn’t look as confident as before. He knew that he was going to lose. He would probably do the noble thing, and sacrifice himself so that Drachunt would be captured. It was so predictable. All the Justice Fighters did it. He on the other hand knew when to run and when to fight. That was why he had never lost yet. He was smart.
The two began to circle each other, the brown eyes looking into the blue. Several of the Authoriters started forward to help Richard but he held up his hand to them, still looking into Drachunt’s eyes. It was as though whoever looked away first was going to die.
“Stay away. He is mine.” The Authoriters stepped back, looking worried. They knew that their leader was going to die.
“You really think you can defeat me on your own. You are weak and puny, and I’m going to break you”, Drachunt sneered at his enemy.
“You really think so”, Richard raised his eyebrows at Drachunt. “I suppose you know my record. No one has ever beaten me. I have defeated all of your followers who have dared oppose me.” His look of smugness had now returned. Yes he had defeated all of Drachunt’s followers who had gone up against him, but they were amongst those who had not been trained by Drachunt, just volunteers who wanted a better world, which Drachunt controlled.
“But now you face a true master”, bragged Drachunt, who suddenly drew his cape around himself, and pulled something from the pocket of his top. He threw something at Richard. Whatever it was crawled inside Richard’s clothes. Richard Danced about on the spot. Drachunt stood there and looked at Richard jumping up and down and laughed. It appeared the something had gotten into his skin somehow. Richard drew out a knife from his pocket and cut open his clothes and then skin. He pulled the something out of his body and held it away from him, at arms length. It looked like a miniature tiger. Its usually gold fur was red with Richards’s blood, but there was no mistaking it. This was one of the five seerkun tigers. The seerkun tigers were given to people who had achieved greatness. Richard knew where three of the other four were, but one remained hidden and would one day be given to someone who would hopefully defeat this monster in front of him: Count Drachunt.
“So this is how you try and defeat me, you coward”, Richard spat at Drachunt.
“A coward am I”, said Drachunt, who felt anger at being called a coward. “Is this cowardly”, and he sliced the air with his Greve, and a gash appeared on Richard’s cheek. Drachunt’s anger was heard in every word he spoke. “Or this.” He slashed again. A wound appeared on Richard’s leg. He fell to the ground, clutching his limb.
Drachunt looked over Richard, just as Richard had done so, just minutes ago.
“You’ve been out skilled, Richard James”, Drachunt mocked the man at his feet.
Richard then grabbed Drachunt’s ankle and pulled. Drachunt went falling to the ground, arms flailing. He hit the floor hard and knocked his head. Everything went black. Richard had only been faking to be seriously hurt. He had fooled Drachunt. That was the second time in a night that Drachunt had been fooled.
**********
His eyelids fluttered open about a minute later. He looked up and saw Richard turn away from him and go see the injured people. The other Authoriters were tending to them now. A man kneeling next to the winged man pointed his Greve at him and muttered, “Curo.”
The blood pouring from the man’s wings recessed and the wing attached itself back to the man. The man opened his eyes and looked at Drachunt. “Worth it then”, the man said to Richard. His wings vanished and he was a true man once more.
After several minutes the man got up and went to stand near Sebastian and the others. Richard and the curer followed them, after seeing to the Authoriter who was injured first. The only casualty the Authoriters had had was the woman who had lost her head. Drachunt had only managed to defeat one of them. He had failed again.
“We must take him before the Council of Justice” Sebastian was telling the others. “Get him into the cellular”, he ordered.
Three Authoriters walked over to Drachunt and brought him roughly to his feet. They pushed him towards the forest to the right of the house. One of them had her Greve on him, so he couldn’t try and get out of it.
The Authoriters pushed some trees aside and they all walked into the forest. There was a field the other side, which Drachunt knew by memory. He had not been here for years.
Just inside the forest was what looked like a car. It was in the style of a mini cooper. It had a normal registration plate, which shone in the moonlight. Drachunt knew what it was. To normal people it was just a car, but to Grevers it was a car with a cell in the back. Inside the cellular it was like a limo with a steel cell at the back of the vehicle. It was made especially for the Authoriters. There were Grevers inside the manufacturing plant that had set about making it.
One of the men holding Drachunt opened the boot of the car and shoved him roughly into the metal cage. As soon as the door was closed, darkness engulfed Drachunt. He lay there, still bound in the electric ropes. Could his situation be any worse.
Not long later Drachunt heard the crunch of twigs and voices that meant the Authoriters were back. Someone knocked on the door. “We’re going to lock you up with your followers and then throw away the key.” It was Richard who had said this, and then laughed. He thought that he had triumphed. If Drachunt didn’t think of a plan then he may just well have. Drachunt needed to think quickly.
He heard the front door open, and his temporary captors get in, and then it closed. The engine started up and Drachunt could feel the vibration of it on his body. It tingled his legs, which lay limply on the floor. He knew that he only had about ten minutes at the most before they reached the Council of Justice headquarters. He needed an escape and to plan his next move. And yet he didn’t have his Greve and he was bound in ropes. He tried to connect his mind with his Greve, like he had been taught years before, but he felt nothing. An empty void. He tried again but it didn’t work. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He closed his eyes and reached out to his Greve again.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And then he felt it. It was in the cellular with the Authoriters. He felt the Greve’s power engulf him. He let it flow through his body. In his mind he spoke to it. Come to me. Come to me.
Drachunt heard a scream of pain and then a thwack of metal straight ahead of him. It sounded as though the Greve had come to life. In his mind, Drachunt controlled it.
Still concentrating on his Greve, Drachunt shuffled towards the sound.
There was another whack! And Drachunt could see a beam of light flooding through the steel. The Greve had made a little hole. It looked like a security beam. He struggled up to his feet and edged towards the hole.
Drachunt looked through the hole and saw his Greve slashing out at the men and woman in the cellular. All of the Authoriters were out cold, with various slashes to their bodies. The Greve stopped on his command and came towards him, through the mind connection that was still in place.
Drachunt took tiny steps towards the opposite wall. The command he gave to his Greve was simple.
Get me out of here.
The Greve smacked the steel again and again until it had managed to slip through to come to its master.
“Slashio”, Drachunt muttered and the ropes binding him severed. Drachunt could move his whole body at last.
He took his Greve in his right hand and pointed it at the back door of the cellular. He slashed once…. twice…. three times at the door and a human sized hole appeared.
He made his way into the cellular, and dragged the two people who he most wanted alive out; Luke and Katie Blanco. He shoved them onto the floor, where they just sat down, holding each others hands.
“We won’t fight you, Carl”, Luke told Drachunt calmly. “You’ll have to kill us.”
“I intend to, don’t worry about that”, the Count replied. He raised his Greve high above his head and slashed down.
He then directed his Greve at the place where the engine of the cellular was.
“Slashio”, the Count shouted, then he ran as fast as he could, back around to the front of the house, and back from whence he came.
About ten seconds later he heard an almighty explosion that meant his enemies were dead. This would mean a lot of trouble for the Justice Fighters to clear up. The thought made a smile spread across Drachunt’s face. He had lived to fight another day, and what was more, the Authoriters were dead. He ran in the direction of the coming sun, which could just be seen above the rooftops.
Drachunt had made the great escape.
I3R14N




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Heya there! Finally got here. Sorry it took so long!

They had lost his trust, because they mingled with the Justice Fighters, his sworn enemy


Add a had after they and you forgot the period at the end ^_^

Now he had failed he was looking back at all the negatives of his life.


Put that after that. Also, maybe a comma would do after failed. It seems like a natural pause there.

Sebastian had hazel eyes and thick, wavy brown hair.


Whoa! I thought you said his name was Richard James!

Tom and Katie Blanco.


Is Tom the name of the son? Because I thought the husband's name was Luke.

Sebastian had refused.


You change Richard's name again. Sebastian is another guy with the last name Wright, right?

Richard said, “By the way, count”, he emphasized the last word,


You could put count in italics. It alone will say that Richard is emphasizing the word. Also, the comma after word could be changed to a period.

Can’t you tell the sun is setting on you.


This is a question so there should be a question mark behind it.
His head hit the floor with a dull thud!


I thought they were outside? You also don't need the exclamation mark at the end. A period will do well enough.

In his attempt to free himself, he tripped over his wriggling feet and fell to the ground, writhing in pain, for the ropes carried electric energy, which was surging through his body.


This is a rather long sentence. You could shorten down for more effect. Also, you could go into more detail here. Sure the count was "writing in pain" but did his face show pain? Did he make any sounds?

“You really think you can defeat me on your own.


This is a question. Need a question mark ^_^

“You really think so”,


This is a question too.

Its usually gold fur was red with Richards’s blood, but there was no mistaking it
.

Usually should be usual.

“So this is how you try and defeat me, you coward”, Richard spat at Drachunt.


Question. Needs a question mark ^_^

“A coward am I”, said Drachunt, who felt anger at being called a coward. “Is this cowardly”, and he sliced the air with his Greve, and a gash appeared on Richard’s cheek.


Okay. The first dialogue part is a question. The second...is a question too. You could also nix the comma and the and after cowardly. They don't need to be there.

That was the second time in a night that Drachunt had been fooled.


Drachunt could be changed to the count. You've used his names a couple times in the previous sentences. It gets a little repitive.

He hit the floor hard and knocked his head.


This chapter, I thought they were outside. That's just the image I got. But you've used floor twice. And unless they are actually inside the house, you could say he hit the ground and knocked his head on a piece of deprise.

“We must take him before the Council of Justice” Sebastian was telling the others. “Get him into the cellular”, he ordered.


You need a comma after justice. Also, nix the he ordered part. It doesn't need to be there.

Could his situation be any worse.


This is a question.

There was another whack! And Drachunt could see a beam of light flooding through the steel.


Nix the exclamation mark and uncapitilize and.

He struggled up to his feet and edged towards the hole.


How tall is the viechle? I"ve never actually seen a mini cooper. Perhaps you could go into more description in places.

Description: You could use more description in places. Some part were rather fuzzy to me. But other than that, you had excellent description in places.

Characters: You showed us more of Drachunt's personality. Good job on that.

Overall: You need to look for the questions in your work. You forget to put question marks in places. This also reminds me of Harry Potter. But that's just me ^_^ Good job on this!

Happy WRiting!

Meadow
Purple light in the canyon
that is where I long to be
With my three good companions
just my rifle, pony and me

--- "My Rifle My Pony and Me"



Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'.
— Michael McClary