nvm 3

void.

I really like this! Of course, I'm a fan of no-punctuation pieces, and this one was fast and quick, but at the same time slow (in a good way!) and meaningful. It was fast because the lines were so short, which I love, but slow because of the meaning, which weighed it down. It made the poem feel balanced--good job!

My favorite parts:

I feel their pain
I taste their sorrow
I witness their deception
And I swallow back
Their dire words
Only to regurgitate
Trying to construe
Reason why


And:

To stand by and
Watch their demise
Would be like
Ingesting shards
Of glass


This was great! I'm sorry I can't be of much more help...I think the super-duper-deep poetry-analyzing part of my brain is sleeping...ha. But I thought it was beautiful.

-Cassie

Very good poem. It was so deep and flowed wonderfully. Honestly, there was nothing I thought you should change. Don't mess with perfection, no?

I loved how the syllables kept the rhythm in check. It was really amazing.

Terrible review, sorry. Just, I loved this. People should compliment people on such more often.

Peace, Love and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody

Thank you both very much. ^^