I really like this! Of course, I'm a fan of no-punctuation pieces, and this one was fast and quick, but at the same time slow (in a good way!) and meaningful. It was fast because the lines were so short, which I love, but slow because of the meaning, which weighed it down. It made the poem feel balanced--good job!
My favorite parts:
I feel their pain
I taste their sorrow
I witness their deception
And I swallow back
Their dire words
Only to regurgitate
Trying to construe
Reason why
And:
To stand by and
Watch their demise
Would be like
Ingesting shards
Of glass
This was great! I'm sorry I can't be of much more help...I think the super-duper-deep poetry-analyzing part of my brain is sleeping...ha. But I thought it was beautiful.
-Cassie
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." Mark Twain
I am hopelessly addicted to Disney music from the classic animated films.
"In a world of my own, everyone would have a dozen bluebirds."
That's how we should measure our lives. Not in distance traveled, or time passed, or worlds conquered, but in moments... and the rush of joy—of grace—that exists within them. — Megatron (Lost Light, by Roberts, Lawrence, Lafuente)
