I had to write this for my english class...I had to write about an exploration and discover, not final thoughts and truths. We had to write about an event in our life that led to sort of an "AHA!" moment or epiphany. I need some more proofreading, so please be critical! Thank you!
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Confidence is Key
“This is totally going to work,” Peter muttered to me as we walked into the Biology room.
“I certainly hope so,” I replied and sat down in my seat.
The plan that day was to ask Isaiah to Scud during class mainly because I could never bring up the confidence to ask him on my own time. Peter had thought up a plan to get Isaiah and me alone at one of the tables to have a better opportunity.
“Hey Isaiah, can you come and quiz me?” Peter called. I was extremely nervous but I kept telling myself that it would be easy, and all I needed to do was ask and get it over with, and the worst thing that could happen is him saying no.
A few minutes passed and Peter, Isaiah, and I had been quizzing each other and studying different tissues in microscopes. I could not focus the entire time, and I had to keep recalling some of my favorite confidence quotes and I had read in the past. One that really helped was this: "The real tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort - he never stretches to his full capacity, never stands up to his full stature." Arnold Bennet had said this, and I loved it so much. It told me that if you do not live your fullest, you will have no idea what you could have been and will almost always have this guilt on you for not even trying to do your best.
“Hey, Hanna wants me to help her, how about you just quiz with Sara now?” As soon as Peter said those words, I started to panic. What if he left? What if I chicken out and never actually ask him? What if I decide to just ask Austin instead? I could not think about these ongoing questions in my head. I just needed to ask him, get it done, and increase my confidence on the spot.
Isaiah and I chatted about a few casual topics for a few more minutes, and people kept coming to our table to ask one of us questions and I was getting a bit irritated. The only good part about one of them coming over, was when Peter came over and talked about Block D for a bit, and he got us on the subject of dances.
“So are you thinking about going to Scud?” I asked while kind of looking at his forehead, then at my hands.
“Yeah, I was,” he answered.
“Well, I was wondering, would you like to go with me?” I did it. I said it. I could not believe I got myself to do it.
“Yeah, sure,” He looked up at me and smiled slightly.
I was so happy, and I felt like a huge weight had lifted off of my shoulders, and I did not have to worry about asking any longer.
What made me actually ask? How did I bring up the courage to do something out of my element? I did not have a large cheering squad in the classroom constantly urging me to ask, I had to bring it up myself, and it was not the easiest task to handle.
Each young toddler needs the confidence and encouragement from his or her parents to learn how to walk. Small children need the boost from their parents again when they enter kindergarten. Every teen needs the self confidence to give a presentation in front of a group or large audience. Even when we enter college, we need the courage and confidence from somewhere to have the feeling to be able to live on our own for the first time, and only having ourselves as a structure to lean on. I found the confidence in quotes and stories in books about people who conquered their fears and did the impossible. Okay, maybe my task was not “the impossible,” but it sure was out of my comfort zone.
What if we don’t have the confidence in ourselves? How different would our life be? From the little toddler not being able to walk all the way to the college student, we would probably not be able to fulfill our life goals, and conquer that impossible. I probably would not have asked Isaiah to the dance, and to this day possibly still be wondering what his answer would have been if I had asked. That sense of guilt of not trying and not just giving a shot at it would every once in a while come back to me along with that sense of wonder on how I would have been if I had asked him. Yes, it would not be the end of the world and there are plenty of other dances in the years to come, but the fact that I did not try and face my small fears could have affected my confidence all together at some point.
As I walked out of the classroom that day, with my friends in tow, I felt like I could do anything, and I felt much more happy. Confidence is a huge part of life, whether you have a lot of it, or none at all. It helps us feel better about ourselves when we are down, and helps us accomplish anything we set our minds to if we really think we can do it. The old saying, “Confidence is key,” makes complete sense, because if you did not have that key role in your life, you might not live it as well as you probably wanted.
