I walk alone yet find myself with company.

One day as a young man walked along a busy city street, he came upon an elderly man dressed in rags and thinner than a rake, yet smiling broader than any of the passing multitudes. The young man was not one to pass a strange sight and so he stopped and nodded to the elder man.
"Why do you smile, you are the vision of despair."
The elderly man shook his head, maintaining his handsome smile and sat on a small box behind him.
"I am the picture of humility."
"Humility can be confused with poverty."
"True but I'm not the one confused."
The Young man scratched his head and pointed to his rags.
"You seem in a shambles, how are you not confused?"
"I know where I am, who I am and what I have, what else does a man need?"
"A home?"
"For what, to hold things he believes himself to need?"
"To shelter him."
The elderly man chuckled aloud and pulled a ruined photo from beneath his rags.
"A caring stranger's mercy can be more sheltering than an empty set of walls."
The young man took the photo and could barely make out a large family standing outside of a moderate looking home, the crooked figure of the old man unmistakable.
"A man needs clothes."
The elderly man shook his head and tugged at the tattered shirt he wore.
"A man needs something to cover himself, yes, but a Man does not need a wardrobe."
"A successful man does."
"Then a successful man is a man of extravagance, and I don't have time for either."
The young man became confused and looked around at the alley he was living in, pointing to the trash and filth all around.
"If you were a successful man you wouldn't need to live in this place."
"I don't need to live in this place."
"Then why are you here?"
The old man spat behind him and removed a faded, ripped cap from underneath his shirt, placing it upon his balding head.
"I am here because the life I live has brought me here."
"But where else do you have to go?"
"Where I may walk and become tired, that is where I can go."
The man walked with the great crowds and nodded to their shocked and disgusted looks, many trying to maintain their distance while still going along their way. The younger man kept pace and noticed the looks.
"See, if you had better clothes..."
"What, if I had better clothes would these people think me a better man, would they know my life and my deeds, would they stop in the street to shake my hand?"
"No...but it would set a better impression."
"People now live on impressions because they think that all that matters is the present, they never think ahead or stop to look back."
The younger man almost tripped on a crack and was caught by the elder man, the others passing not even glancing.
"But you cannot predict the future or change the past, so why not worry about the now?"
"Because if something is in your future you can look back on the past and prepare for it all in the present."
The younger man followed the other into a decrepit old building and felt himself become frightened; eyes peered from every door less apartment and a rancid smell of a smoke and waste mix assaulted his nose.
"Is this another dwelling of yours?"
"In the past, yes."
"Why not stay here, it at least is warm and with some kind of shelter."
"A shelter for the body is a storm for the mind."
"Then why return if so many negative convictions are here?"
"I'm passing, returning would imply I am to stay, and besides if anything you are only visiting, and you are a very rude guest."
The young man became silent in confoundment and followed the old man through long hallways and large staircases that seemed to have no end beyond some brightly lit window or walled off room. They soon came to what could be assumed was the past home of the elderly man, only it was the only room with an actual door, and the rest of the rooms around them were empty, completely devoid of that sick heat that emanates from so many people. The elderly man touched the door knob with his finger tips and it swung open, stopping just before hitting the opposing wall. They walked into the room to the sight of an empty dwelling with many shattered bottles and broken window panes littering the ground, yet the walls and even windows were not touched.
"what took place here?"
"Nothing."
"Then why is it in such a state?"
"It is in no state but abandon."
"But the floor..."
"It is hazardous yes, but is this not the comfort of a home you told me to seek?"
"But if this is an old dwelling you could not seek it, simply return."
"Or resume."
The young man kicked at the glass and shook his head.
"You are a confusing man."
"I'm the only voice of reason you have heard in a long time."
"You are a vagrant, nothing more."
"Then why do you care so much for my being?"
"I ... I care... I care because it interests me."
"Oh?"
"Yes, you have a home yet claim to not need it, you have no possessions and reject everything concerning them, you have no one to call your own beyond people in a faded photo, I find it interesting."
"It sounds more depressing than interesting."
The young man scratched at his head and walked forward into the most visible room and looked about at the many shards of colored glass, noticing that there was something beneath it all. He stooped and brushed aside large pieces of jagged glass and found a lined piece of paper, with some scrawled message written across it.
"What is this?"
"Reminders."
"Of what?"
"Of things that now only cause pain."
The young man read the note, and found it holding only an insignificant phrase, 'We need milk.'
"So unimportant, how could this cause pain?"
"Its the smallest things in your mind which drive you to the greatest heartbreak; a scent that reminds you of someone long gone, a musical note that reminds you of a grand dance with one who no longer remembers your name, these things can hurt more than any wound."
"But wait....When we first met you were smiling, and now this shows your sorrow, you were lying to me."
"Not at all, I never said I was happy, only humble."
"Then what is the reason for all this!?"
"Your interest, remember?"
The young man turned to shout at the elderly man and found himself thrown into pitch black darkness, his senses not detecting another living soul. He fumbled through his pockets and removed a match, lighting it on a bit of striking board in his coat. The dim light from the match brought the entire room to life. The shards of glass were no longer on the ground, but now floating and gliding about him, avoiding him with precision and crashing and sliding along the walls and ceiling like a wild stream of broken liquid. He became entranced and held the match higher, accidentally hitting one of the bottles. It sparked and dropped to the floor, hitting another which kept going.
It slid along the wall and graced other pieces, giving them the same bright yellow flame it had been given. Soon a blazing fire contained within each glimmering piece of glass danced and swam around him, still peaceful and not giving him any sense of fear, only wonder. With all this new light he looked around, and saw the elderly man in a corner, his head down, and his hands in his lap. He walked over in joy, wishing to shake him to view the beauty around him, but recoiled in shock. The elderly man, was long dead. His skin was stretched over his bones like a rough burlap sack that clung to every corner and every curve, his lips curled back and broken teeth revealed. His hair was paper white and stiff like dry straw, creating an almost scarecrow-esque look about his face. His clothes were the familiar rags, but they were covered in the mold of age and death. In his hands in his lap, was a pistol, cold now, but in the past searing hot from a single, final firing. Behind the corpse was a splatter of almost black viscus material that could be assumed was blood at one point. The young man cupped his hands over his mouth to keep himself from screaming.
He noticed the blazing shards around him had slowed and were beginning to course towards the body of the elderly man, circling around him like some strange vortex of illumination. They quickly enveloped him in a pulsing mass of light that appeared to be composed no longer of glass but of the petals of some flower in bloom moving in a light summer breeze. These petals soon began to flap violently and quicker, pulling apart and finally splitting into hundreds upon hundreds of fiery butterflies that careened all around the room, their flame coloring changing into a depressing turquoise that quickly died out like the final climax of a firework. The young man stumbled out of the room in the midst of this finale and quickly made his way out of the complex, catching his breath in the moist darkness of the light rain that had come from seemingly nowhere, the massive crowds of commuters replaced by night's regulars of homeless, depressed and wandering alongside the young couples of revelers who made their way towards the numerous bars and cafes that adorned each run down street corner.
The young man looked about him and felt himself locked upon the bright full moon in the sky, some strange wonder taking him over. He remembered that he had kept the note clenched in his hand and moved to read it again, only to find it replaced by a folded piece of decorative invitation paper. He unfolded it and felt his heart stop as he read the message. The young man dropped his arms and looked about him again, making sure he was really there, and then quickly went along his own way, dropping the paper behind him on the cold sidewalk.

The paper floated down slowly, suprising with it's make and ink. it landed face up on the concrete and became darkened by the small puddle upon the ground in which it had landed.
It read, "Know who you are, know where you are, and know what you have, and you will always be a humble man, forget even one, and you are lost, THAT is despair."

Hi Eraqio! It's June here .

Now let's begin, I promise not to shred this, but I might be a little overboard with the mechanics here. Let's see:

One day as a young man walked along a busy city street, he came upon an elderly man dressed in rags and thinner than a rake, yet smiling broader than any of the passing multitudes. The young man was not one to pass a strange sight and so he stopped and nodded to the elder man.

• This reads a little bit too wordy, and some of the sentences feel lengthy. If we shorten some of these sentences we can keep the same exact message:

One day, as a young man walked along a busy street, he came upon an elderly man. He was dressed in rags, and he was thinner than a rake. Yet, he was smiling broader than any of the passing multitudes. The young man was not one to pass a strange sight, so he stopped and nodded to the elder man.

• Also! Remember to space your lines. If you have two lines of dialogue back-to-back, put a line space between them so that it doesn't get all jumbly, okay dear?

"Why do you smile, you are the vision of despair."

• Dear, I think you're missing a question mark . I believe it would replace the comma.

"True but I'm not the one confused."

• Comma after true!

The Young man scratched his head and pointed to his rags.

That Y should be lowercase, dear.

"You seem in [s]a[/s] shambles, how are you not confused?"

That "a" is a bit unnecessary .

The young man took the photo and could barely make out a large family standing outside of a moderate looking home, the crooked figure of the old man unmistakable.

Dear, this bit is a little confusing.

• In the first part, the wording is a little confusing. It should be reworded to be more like this:

The young man took the photo and looked at it. He could barely make out the image of a large family standing outside of a moderate looking home, the unmistakable figure of the crooked old man besides them.

You see, the clarity of a sentence relies heavily upon the order of the words and the way in which it is written. You included all of the necessary information in this bit, but it the presentation was a little off .

"A man needs something to cover himself, yes, but a Man does not need a wardrobe."

Any particular reason that M is capitalized?

The man walked with the great crowds and nodded to their shocked and disgusted looks, many trying to maintain their distance while still going along their way. The younger man kept pace and noticed the looks.

Again, dear, sentence confusion. From the above, we understand that he had sat down on a box. When does he rise and begin to walk?
Details can be implied without writing them, but, in some cases it is necessary to write them out especially if you write them out before in the piece. Here's a solution:

The old man rose, beckoning for the young man to come along. As they walked through the crowds, the old man nodded to those who gave him shocked or disgusted looks, many of them trying to maintain their distance while still going along their way. The younger man kept his pace and noticed the looks.

"No...but it would set a better impression."

Tiny, unnecessary nitpick, haha. Put a space after your ellipsis (...)

The younger man almost tripped on a crack and was caught by the elder man, the others passing not even glancing.

Again, a little hint of confusion. See, if you almost trip, you don't trip at all. But if you trip, it doesn't mean you fall, so! I think that this should be changed a bit to be:

The younger man tripped on a crack in the ground, only to be caught by the elder man. The other passerbys didn't even glance.

...Or something like that

"But you cannot predict the future or change the past, so why not worry about the now?"
| (Maintain a space between your lines, okay?
"Because if something is in your future you can look back on the past and prepare for it all in the present."

Word like "because," "but", "also", and those type of words should be followed by a comma when they begin a sentence. That's not all the time, though! Only when a brief pause should follow. If you're unsure of where a comma belongs, try reading the line aloud to help you determine where to put it .

The younger man followed the other into a decrepit old building and felt himself become frightened; eyes peered from every door less apartment and a rancid smell of a smoke and waste mix assaulted his nose.

xD I feel kind of bad. I feel like I'm changing too many things in your story, but! I'm not so sure if it sounds "proper" to refer to the old man as "the other". Maybe... the younger man followed his companion...?

Also! It's implied that you would feel a feeling. So! I don't think it's completely necessary that he "felt himself become frightened. Can't he just follow his companion into the decrepit building and become frightened by the looks of it?

"Why not stay here, it at least is warm and with some kind of shelter."

Again, dear, replace that comma with a question mark .

The young man became silent in confoundment and followed the old man through long hallways and large staircases that seemed to have no end beyond some brightly lit window or walled off room. They soon came to what could be assumed was the past home of the elderly man, only it was the only room with an actual door, and the rest of the rooms around them were empty, completely devoid of that sick heat that emanates from so many people. The elderly man touched the door knob with his finger tips and it swung open, stopping just before hitting the opposing wall. They walked into the room to the sight of an empty dwelling with many shattered bottles and broken window panes littering the ground, yet the walls and even windows were not touched.

• First line! Confoundment isn't actually a proper word, so, this would need to be reworded. "Confounded, the young man fell silent..."

• Long sentences. Sometimes, simple is better. For now, this passage looks deadwoodish and run-on, like, But! I can assure you it isn't. Honestly.

It's just a bit... congested . Space it out. Break the paragraph up a little bit, crop some of your sentences. Sometimes fragments are okay, if they're surrounded by supporting sentences. Sometimes, long, intricate sentences just confuse up. Other times, too many "and" are like walking through a maze and they don't connect anything really.

"what took place here?"

Capital W, dear. Also! State the speaker in this conversation, preferably at the first line so that we can follow better.

The young man turned to shout at the elderly man and found himself thrown into pitch black darkness, his senses not detecting another living soul. He fumbled through his pockets and removed a match, lighting it on a bit of striking board in his coat. The dim light from the match brought the entire room to life. The shards of glass were no longer on the ground, but now floating and gliding about him, avoiding him with precision and crashing and sliding along the walls and ceiling like a wild stream of broken liquid. He became entranced and held the match higher, accidentally hitting one of the bottles. It sparked and dropped to the floor, hitting another which kept going.
It slid along the wall and graced other pieces, giving them the same bright yellow flame it had been given. Soon a blazing fire contained within each glimmering piece of glass danced and swam around him, still peaceful and not giving him any sense of fear, only wonder. With all this new light he looked around, and saw the elderly man in a corner, his head down, and his hands in his lap. He walked over in joy, wishing to shake him to view the beauty around him, but recoiled in shock. The elderly man, was long dead. His skin was stretched over his bones like a rough burlap sack that clung to every corner and every curve, his lips curled back and broken teeth revealed. His hair was paper white and stiff like dry straw, creating an almost scarecrow-esque look about his face. His clothes were the familiar rags, but they were covered in the mold of age and death. In his hands in his lap, was a pistol, cold now, but in the past searing hot from a single, final firing. Behind the corpse was a splatter of almost black viscus material that could be assumed was blood at one point. The young man cupped his hands over his mouth to keep himself from screaming.
He noticed the blazing shards around him had slowed and were beginning to course towards the body of the elderly man, circling around him like some strange vortex of illumination. They quickly enveloped him in a pulsing mass of light that appeared to be composed no longer of glass but of the petals of some flower in bloom moving in a light summer breeze. These petals soon began to flap violently and quicker, pulling apart and finally splitting into hundreds upon hundreds of fiery butterflies that careened all around the room, their flame coloring changing into a depressing turquoise that quickly died out like the final climax of a firework. The young man stumbled out of the room in the midst of this finale and quickly made his way out of the complex, catching his breath in the moist darkness of the light rain that had come from seemingly nowhere, the massive crowds of commuters replaced by night's regulars of homeless, depressed and wandering alongside the young couples of revelers who made their way towards the numerous bars and cafes that adorned each run down street corner.

Long, long, long paragraph, dear! And, slightly info dumping.

The info-dumping isn't entirely bad, but it needs to be more subtle. Just break the paragraph up a bit, and you should be fine, dear.

The paper floated down slowly, suprising with it's make and ink. it landed face up on the concrete and became darkened by the small puddle upon the ground in which it had landed.
It read, "Know who you are, know where you are, and know what you have, and you will always be a humble man, forget even one, and you are lost, THAT is despair."

suprising should be surprising.


* - * - * - *- * -* -* - *- * -

Time for overall!

Wow, Eraqio. Wow.

To begin, I immensely enjoyed this. It's very touching, the type of story that has a moral, or some life lesson in it and captures the readers interest well.

In complete, brutal honesty, this was good. Extremely good. The conversation was perfect; you captured the tone and the setting very well, dear.

In some places, the wording of your sentences stumbled a bit. I believe they could have been written more simply; not that it's a bad thing to write them more complex, but, from the readers point of view, we have to read over some parts twice to understand the fun meaning-- mostly when we come to the large paragraph I quoted.

Also! Refrain from using super long paragraphs in your writing! It's like, "Whoa! This is intimidating!" to the reader and instead of reading each word or sentence carefully, we're skimming through it to try to get it over with. So, in this case, the shorter the sweeter.

Well done, Eraqio. This is a brilliant piece. The lesson didn't come off as "preachy" like stories like this often do. Some parts need a touch of polishing, but, I do believe that once any of the minor errors are corrected that this will be a masterpiece.

I'm kind of at a loss for words. I have all that I want to say in the back of my mind, but I can't put it to words. Well done, dear. Keep it up!

Gold star!

June