Tribute to Puck the Fairy

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Hey Kama! My name is Jon.

I smell a Midsummer Night's Dream!

You might need put put quotation marks around 'Midsummer's Night's Dream'. It's a play, yeah? I would get rid of the exclamation point, just use a period.

Me and all my sly schemes

You call the rest of the fairies schemes? Change this word to something else, as you are talking about the others.

but, Lord! What fools these mortals be!

This is my favorite line in the whole poem. Is it part of the play? If so, you must put quotation marks around it. Capitalize 'but'. If you capitalize every start of a line, don't stop, keep it consistent.

My master and his plots

Maybe in place of the 'and' you could put a comma?

This strange flower with its magical remedy.

Try, "This odd flower with magical remedies,"

But thats my job as Robin Goodfellow,

'Thats' should be 'That's'

the mischevious fairy, Puck.

Capitalize 'the'. 'mischevious' is spelled wrong. It should be mischievous.


I've never read, "A Midsummer's Night" but, this poem was okay. Maybe you could try to put more into it? Add more? Describe Puck the fairy.


My pleasure,


---Jon---

I suggest :
Making it a bit longer
Making sure the lines have somewhat a flowful flow to them
Make it flow more
You forgot to put a capital on: but (in the first row)

Overall it was okay. The thing you must work on the most is flow.

TREE

ps cAN you please put some more artwork on?? Please!

Hey Kamas! It's June!

I said I would review your work and I've finally gotten around to it.

I don't think that this needs heavy editing, dear. I think it's good as you've got it here. However! Pay attention to what Jon (wisemann210) said; he's right about the spelling and the punctuation, so just keep an eye on that.

Also! This poem is a tribute to Puck the Fairy but, tell us more, dear! For now, it's hard to tell what you are contributing to the fairy itself-- it's somewhat vague for a tribute. So! To fix that, maybe just add a bit of description? Add a little bit about the fairy. Tell us why it's mischievous. Tell us something more so that if the audience had never read Shakespeare's Midsummer Night Dream, we could relate just as well as someone who read it.

But! You did a good job here, I'd like to see more of your work. Keep it up, dear. You're off to a good start.

And hey! It's your poem; it's up to you what changes you want to make. We're merely here for responses and opinions, but you make the decision. After all, there's no rule that you have to follow with poetry.

Nice work.

June

I have never read a Midnight Summers Dream. So I will not know who Puck is. maybe you should describe him a little more, and give more detail, maybe some imagery.

I smell a Midsummer Night's Dream!

There isn't a need for an explation mark in this line just a period. !
It seems like you lose the flow through out your poem. After the first stanza all of any flow is gone.

He uses that flower lots

The flower lots instead of that flower lots

Over All: I am not a poem expert, but you are right this needs mass editing, esp. on the flow and rhythm of things. Lengthen it a bit by describing maybe scenes with Puck in them or puck himself. If in the play he is not describe make some thing up. How do you see Puck as? I think this was a very unique idea How awesome it was of you to write a poem about a shakespearean play?! Good choice ahah.

Much encouragement and thanks for requesting a review

-Tiffany