Pluto

Standing on foreign ground
To distant to recieve your warming rays.
The ice on my barren surface
Wraps around me like a frozen blanket
Ever longing for you to come nearer
And release me from this lonely prison.
Here I stand, an outsider in your eyes.
Alone and unnoticed, on the edge of your sight.
And as I sit here and solemnly remember
About the times you considered me one,
I ask that pivotal question:
Am I still your equal?
Or do you render me as none?

Hmm, wellll~
I like it, it's a nice idea~ I don't know what to say, I'm hopeless at reviews... *Doomed* But,

Dallas Tillman wrote:Too distant to recieve your warming rays.

is how it should be ^_^
And, haha, it's probably not important, because it's just a figure of speech, but you say 'Standing on foreign ground' then 'As I sit here' hehe, I just think that's quite funny. I told you I'm hopeless...
Oh, and I think

Dallas Tillman wrote:About the times you considered me one,

Might sound better as 'time'...?

Hi there! Welcome to YWS! I'm a critique this for you, 'kay?

Dallas Tillman wrote:Standing on foreign ground
Too distant to recieve your warming rays.
The ice on my barren surface
Wraps around me like a frozen blanket,
Ever longing for you to come nearer
And release me from this lonely prison.
Here I stand, an outsider in your eyes,
Alone and unnoticed, on the edge of your sight.
And as I sit here and solemnly remember Nix the "and".
About the times you considered me one, Nix the "about" and "times" should be time
I ask that pivotal question:
Am I still your equal?
Or do you render me as none?

Ah, yes. Dear Pluto. Stupid scientists. Pluto is SO still a planet.
But seriously now, great job! Just a few technical issues, but that's all.

only one thing i think you should change, and that is that in the second line it should be "too" other than that I found everything perfectly fine! I really liked this and totally got the meaning of it and the feeling behind the words.

you're realllly good and i say keep writing!