Accidentally Famous: Prologue

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Last edited by Erica on Wed Apr 28, 2010 9:26 pm, edited 4 times in total.
well behaved women rarley make history.




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This sounds interesting!

I'm wondering what the ''incident'' is....? You should keep going, and develop your story!

Don't forget to check over some of your grammar errors, such as the uses of there and their.

Keep going! And keep me updated!! =]




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Hey =]

YWS has a rule where you should review two pieces of work before posting a piece of your own - bear this in mind when you next post =]

This sounds really interesting and i'd like to know where it's going.

I'd definitely be interested in reading the next part/ chapter one.

I like how your MC talks straight to the reader too - i think it helps the reader to develop a bond with the narrator which in turn makes the reader want to read on.

Nice job =]

xDudettex
'Stop wishing for the sunshine. Start living in the rain.' - Kids In Glass Houses.

'Would you destroy something perfect in order to make it beautiful?' - MCR artwork.




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I found it! Thanks for the PM telling me about this. This defently adds, I dunno, It kinda makes you want to read more (I forgot what I was supposed to call that). You had a few grammer mistakes here and there, but I can't really complain about it becuase there was just way to many good things to over power the bad things (does that make sense?). Anyway, I liked it, a lot.
"I'm sitting here, sad and lonely. Thinking about what I could be doing with you, now. But I'm not. Because somehow, I always ruin everything."




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This is very good. I really the narrator's voice. :)

More, please. :)
When the drums come in
And the keys get louder
Now we're building a collision of noise

~ The Broken Minor by Elliot Minor




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Hi,
I see no one has given you a full crtic yet, so I'll do the honour of being your first. Okay, what I'm going to do is copy and paste your whole story and put it in a "quote". All my edits, concerns and comments will be in bold!

No this isn’t one of those over told fluffy, bubble gum pop stories about how after many failing tries to pursue my career in acting I finally landed the role of a lifetime. - Very good begining. I espcially like the "fluffy, bubble gum pop"

This isn’t even one of those stories about how after never having any acting experience I decided to try out for show and surprisingly got it. No, this is my story, and it’s unlike any other. I think it would be best if I brought you all the way back to the beginning... - I think it would be cool to have thoses there.
But, before we even do that I think I should introduce myself. I’m Cassandra Renee Jones, but my friends call me Cassie. I’m not anything special. I’m not student council president, or class valedictorian. I never got the lead in the school plays and I’m not the most beautiful or popular girl in school. I’m an eleventh grade student with a B average. I spend most of my time hanging out with friends. We love to go bowling, or at least I do, I tend to get straight strikes. Other than that I’m not involved in school activities. I would be but, the people I try my best to avoid control the activities at my school. I’m not even in student council and the popular people only sometimes pretend to care that I exist long enough for them make fun of the way I dress or something stupid like that. I have been in one school musical though. I was a napkin in my eighth grade performance of “Beauty and the Beast”. During my first performance I tripped and there was a chain reaction.
As you can see, no one thought I would be great. My highest expectations were to get a job at a local Wal-Mart or something. I never really did have an idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up. What really ended up happening was one big mess-up, and something that no one, not even me, could ever see coming.
I think it be best to start on the last day of school of my junior year. The day I consider as the day my whole world changed. About two weeks before the “incident”.


Overall this story was very well done and I love how you ended with a cliff hanger. I will certainly go read the rest.

You had a few minor mistakes but otherwise it was very well done.

PM me if you need anything!

Love,
N
Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
-Gloria Steinem




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I agree with everyone else. This was a very interesting beginning and the narrator has a strong, engaging voice. It's just short enough to keep you interested, and it makes me want to read the rest.




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lol. I really liked it. It really hooks you into the story. Seems like you know your character well. "No this isn’t one of those over told fluffy, bubble gum pop stories about how after many failing tries to pursue my career in acting I finally landed the role of a lifetime.

This isn’t even one of those stories about how after never having any acting experience I decided to try out for show and surprisingly got it. No, this is my story"

Love that.Great way to get the reader interested. Can't wait to read the rest of the story.
Take on everything head first and never look back.



I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
— Solomon Short