This one is kind of short. So I'd really like to focus on the flow, entertainment value, and if you connect with my protagonist. Also, I'd liek to know if this still feels cliched, or if I've finally added in a little twist. Thanks for your input!!
Veronica was early to her English class Monday morning. She waited impatiently for Keith to show up. She was eager to see him. Would he kiss her if she asked? Were they a couple now? Veronica opened her notebook to create a new recipe. Something romantic that she could make for an intimate date with Keith. Hurriedly, she jotted down ingredients for filet mignon with blackberries. As side dishes she would make garlic mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus drenched in lemon-butter. Veronica doodled Keith’s name above the recipe and surrounded it with a heart.
Closing her eyes, Veronica imagined Keith sitting across from her at a cozy table flooded with candlelight. He would reach across the table and grab her hand. Smiling slightly, she heard his voice telling her how much he loved her. A warm, tingly feeling bubbled up inside her, making her feel giddy. When she opened her eyes she was surprised to see Keith taking a seat up front.
She felt her face wrinkle into a frown as the late bell rang. Mr. Draper swept into the room before Veronica was able to get Keith’s attention.
When they were working on their poetry, Veronica ripped out a piece of notebook paper and wrote Keith a hasty note. Folding it, she picked up her pencil and crossed over to the pencil sharpener. As she passed Keith’s desk, she dropped the note in his lap. She took a ridiculous amount of time getting the point of her pencil sharp enough to stab someone. She walked back past Keith, trying to make eye contact with him. He ignored her and didn’t pass back the note.
Frustrated, she plopped down in her desk with a loud sigh. She watched, horrified, as Keith crumpled up her note and tossed it in the trash. A wave of emotions crashed down on her, battering her like a hurricane. Confusion ripped at her core, creating a dark chasm filled with regret and self-disgust. Even though she was humiliated Veronica managed to hold back the tears she felt building up.
When the bell rang, Veronica gathered up her things and chased after Keith. He was halfway down the hall when she caught up with him.
“Keith.” She grabbed his arm to stop him. “What is going on?” He avoided her eyes. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Listen, what happened the other night, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t really mean for it to happen either.” Veronica knew she was grasping for straws. “We can start over if you want to.”
Keith shook his head. “I think it would be best if we just didn’t. You know, I’m not your type.”
Veronica felt a tear escape and trickle down the side of her face. Angry, she wiped it away. “How do you know what my type is?”
“Well, I’m just saying,” Keith shrugged his shoulders, “it wasn’t all that good. I mean, I’ve had better.”
Veronica stepped back, feeling as if she had been slapped. She hadn’t even realized that Delilah had heard the conversation until she saw someone fly past her. Delilah launched herself at Keith, using her spiral notebook as a weapon.
“You heartless bastard!” Delilah screeched. “How dare you! Are you such a mindless prick to think you can get away with treating my best friend that way?” He knocked the notebook from her hand and Delilah resorted to using her fists.
Veronica grabbed her friend around the waist and pulled her off him. “Come on Delilah, he isn’t worth it.” She felt numb as she lead her friend away from Keith.
