One Sweet Day (preface)

Okay so I've fixed this up a bit. Let me know what you think? Chapter 1 will be coming soon.

Preface

It is dark and quiet. I sit alone in the empty void with only my dreams to comfort me. Dreams that have long since been shattered and drained of their life, but dreams nonetheless. I imagine a tear escaping my eye as I sit here in solitude. Those same dreams had held my spirits high throughout most of my life. They had been my only reasons for living. Yet, in the end, those same dreams had managed to kill me.

I want to laugh at the irony of it all, but I feel that the sudden sound will shatter my ears. I have been sitting in silence for such a long time now, without moving a single muscle. I have almost forgotten what it is even like to hear and move. But I have to wonder, is that such a terrible thing?

Maybe if I sit here long enough, then I will also forget myself, and become apart of the emptiness that surrounds me; apart of nothing.

Even as the thought crosses my mind I know that it will be impossible. I will never be rid of the dark shadow that continuously stalks my soul, suffocating me with intense memories of my dead past, hopes and dreams.

All I can do is sit here, tortured and alone forever, with only bittersweet memories to carry with me into eternity....

This is good for a prologue, though a bit short. It draws you in and makes you curious about what happened to this person. You do have some errors though.

- "Yet, in the end those same dreams had managed to kill me." There needs to be a comma after 'end'.

- "what seemed like seven days..." Why seven days? If the person is just guessing at it, and exaggerating it, you could just say a week, or something more vague.

- "I was almost forgetting what it was like to hear and move." This sentence has a tense change and is awkward. What about, "I had almost forgotten what it was like to hear and to move"?

- When you say "apart" it should be "a part".

- "dead past, hopes and dreams. " Are you trying to say her past, hopes, and dreams are all dead? If so, you need a comma after 'hopes'.

I'm a little puzzled as to why you decided to break up your paragraphs like this, each one so brief. Was it for effect? I think a few of them you could combine, but if you really want to keep them short and separate it isn't that big of a deal. I'll read it when you post the next part!

A preface... interesting. However, this doesn't seem to be a preface.

I'm pulling from the wiki entry (just because it is easy and worded well):

"A preface (pronounced "preffus") is an introduction to a book written by the author of the book.The preface often closes with acknowledgments of those who assisted in the project.

A preface generally covers the story of how the book came into being, or how the idea for the book was developed; this is often followed by thanks and acknowledgments to people who were helpful to the author during the time of writing."

This would be a prologue, not a preface. Something this short also is not really a true prologue either. If you do not need to convey a lot of information to the reader about the world the story takes place in, then you do not need a prologue and should skip directly to chapter 1.

So I must disagree with C&G, as this piece does not tell us anything or provide detail necessary to the story.

A preface... interesting. However, this doesn't seem to be a preface.

I'm pulling from the wiki entry (just because it is easy and worded well):

"A preface (pronounced "preffus") is an introduction to a book written by the author of the book.The preface often closes with acknowledgments of those who assisted in the project.

A preface generally covers the story of how the book came into being, or how the idea for the book was developed; this is often followed by thanks and acknowledgments to people who were helpful to the author during the time of writing."

This would be a prologue, not a preface. Something this short also is not really a true prologue either. If you do not need to convey a lot of information to the reader about the world the story takes place in, then you do not need a prologue and should skip directly to chapter 1.

So I must disagree with C&G, as this piece does not tell us anything or provide detail necessary to the story.

Actually, a preface can also be used at the beginning of a novel to foreshadow an event that takes place in the actual story. I have seen it used in several different novels. Also a preface and prologue are two different things. A prologue provides your reader with some back ground information, some history, things that occurred before the story actually takes place. Things that you're reader will need to know so that they will have a basic background idea for the story.