I want to say right off the bat that I found your prologue to be pretty cute. It caught my interest right away and held it till we reached the end. Very good!
There are a few things I’d like to comment on, though.
Procuring a life full of glorious travels and enchantment, she too, lives happily ever after.
Your comma use was a little iffy here. It would read better and be far less confusing if you got rid of the comma after “too.”
The third is the content princess – the one that I can relate to the most.
Okay, so, she uses “can” here, when later she referred to her associating with the third type of princessdom in the past tense. I think that you should replace “can” with “could” to hold up consistency.
She has lived a happy childhood, she will marry a wonderful prince, become the queen of a magnificent kingdom and have beautiful children.
The bit in red, I’m pretty sure, is past progressive tense or something along those lines. It shows that the action, though it happened in the past, is continuing on in the future. Be careful with this; the way you have it written suggests that her childhood was happy and, at present, still is happy. If you want to make the point that she is out of childhood by now, I’d change “has” to “had.”
I would have been engaged, married, ruled my kingdom and beared heirs to the throne.
I think you meant “bore,” not “beared.”
I love the voice the princess has! She’s biting and cynical, as well as realistic. You immediately show us that she likes reminiscing about what could have happened and revealed quite a bit about her character in less than 500 words. Awesome skills, my friend.
Overall, I enjoyed it. I must admit that the names of the princes had me giggling, but I assume that that was the point. :3 Good job!
