dead wrong

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My bible told me to love one another,
To do unto others as I would like others to do unto me,
My mother once told me there is no right way to do something wrong :)
So if you think that posting that poem would cause me to frown.
You are lying to yourself. :D

Two can play that game.
For your information I don’t need you
So I guest you, are dead wrong. :D

You said that you were doing what you believed to be right.
It may have been right to you,
But dead wrong again! :D

“I was looking out for you.
I cared about you.
You thought it was all about me'
But you were wrong.
And you knew that.
I received only hurt.” :shock:

All this is a pack of crap.
I have no idea why you keep lying to yourself.
You are so selfish
you cant see that you are dead wrong. :D

You are unbelievable, :roll:
You could have just said you don’t want me here. :cry:
You didn’t have to use poetry to destroy me.
But I should have known that my judgment
Would have been dead wrong :D
Last edited by KaribbeanDiva on Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:) KARIBBEANDIVA :)

BY THE GRACE OF GOD WE ALL CAN BECOME GREAT WRITERS.

feel free to make comments, share ideas and give advice.




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Gender Female
Points 890
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Hello!
I rather enjoyed your poem! I really liked the idea you were going for. Just a few things to point out [my notes are bolded],

KaribbeanDiva wrote:Two can play that game.
For your information I don’t need you
So I guest you, are dead wrong. :D I don't quite understand this last line..

You said that you were doing what you believed to be right.
It may have been right to you,
But dead wrong again! :D I think it would sound more powerful if you said something like "once again, dead wrong." Also I think you should maybe add another line.. it's a bit too choppy as it is right now.

All this is a pack of crap.
I have no idea why you keep lying to yourself.
You are so selfish to see that you are dead wrong. :D I'm a little confused as to why the person is selfish if they see why they are wrong. (:

You are unbelievable, :roll:
You could have just said you don’t want me here. :cry:
You didn’t have to use poetry to destroy me.
But I should have known that my judgment
Would have been dead wrong :D I absolutely loved this last stanza! Everything flowed super well!


Well done! All in all, I really enjoyed your poem!

-Avery. (:



Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher