Belonging (A song)

Here's a song I wrote. The concept is still a bit unclear even to myself, but it's basically about fitting in and my personal girl troubles. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Verse 1
God like emotions
I can’t believe the scorched ground
I see the ashes and rope ends
I don’t believe they’re there

Unoriginality’s my forte, as you will soon see
And by love and not force, you’ll drift away
To close to me, you won’t get too far
When I see you crying through my door ajar

Pre-chorus
Can you hear my heart beat?
Can you feel my brain pulse?
Do you believe in me?
Because I don’t

Chorus
Stretch the boundaries, mixed and tainted
I burn myself to get there but regret it as I arrive
I see the rope ends once again
This time, again, I managed to survive

I create a boundary, thin but strong
I forge my own nightmares, where I belong
I kill the Queen, I know it’s wrong
I feel the love, but turn away, scorned.

Interlude
How do you not…
I feel so wrong…
You make me feel…
I don’t belong…
And you’ll make my hell…
Just as you made my heaven…
And you’ll cut my eight…
Right down to seven!

<Chorus>

Ending
Tainted I survive
Painted I strive
For better or worse, prove me wrong
Prove to me, I still belong.

Songs go to the 'lyrics' section...

There were some rough lines, such as:
When I see you crying through my door ajar
You could tell it was forced, but I guess with beat/rhythm you don't really notice these things.

And you’ll cut my eight…
Right down to seven!
Am I missing something? I don't know... this seemed like a silly line. Unless there's some point I'm missing for it...

It was all right, besides some funny lines, but no one really notices it during songs.

Thanks. I get where you're coming from too. Looking back, it needs revision.
Thanks and excuse my stupidity for posting it in the wrong section.

hey that was interesting... i wonder what it would sound like as a song..like what the rythm..

This is very unique and not at all cliche... good job, it's refreshing to see an original "relationship" song; they start to seem all petty much the same after a while. I didn't completely understand this, but I really liked it. It has nice, subtle rhyme and some really kewl images. :thumb: