I Crashed and I Crumbled

With my head hung low
And my fingers stretching forward
I was begging the world to take me
Not understanding the sudden change in speed
I gripped onto the closest sleeve
Hoping for comfort
And praying for support

But that bridge, seeping with roses
and layered only with the sweetest aromas
turned out to be a ruse
My knees buckled beneath me
and I cried soundlessly
Lifeless, in my enemy’s embrace.

Fall down? I crashed.
Fall apart? I crumbled.
Regret? With every part of me.
Cry? Until my eyes inflated.
Hope? Never.

Until you.
You rescued me.
Shocking me back into more
than simple existence.

Fall down? I crashed.
Fall apart? I crumbled.
Hope? Never.

Not until you.
You rescued me.

Thank you.

I was going to mention that you should keep your stanza size the same throughout the poem except for the ending if you wish, but then I noticed that you took one line away each time. I enjoyed reading this. I just have some little nit picky things to say. Of course, they would completely mess up your structure, but you could use them to make a new poem. I like the journey we are taken on, but I would really like more of a look into the narrator's mind-how they are feeling and, more importantly, why they feel that way. Some of the imagery was slightly weak, but you only had so much space available to you. I thought the ending was a little too perfect, but that's just my oppinion. Nice work on this.

First of all, I liked this. I thought you had some really good images in the first two stanzas.

However, this poem needs some more punctuation. The first few stanzas don't have any, and it really confuses the reader. Trust me, reading a poem is so much easier when the reader isn't trying to figure out where one thought ends and another thought begins.

Aside from that, though, this was well-written. I hadn't noticed the reduction in stanza lines thing, but that is really cool. Keep writing!

This was good. I really liked it. A few little things though:

Firstly, I definitely agree that the punctuation needs work.

Secondly, and I'm not even sure if this is something that is even a grammatical error, but a few of the first words of some lines aren't capitalized.

Other than those few little things, I thought this was great. I really liked how each stanza you took one line away. Very creative, and awesome, for that matter. So congrats, you get a gold star from The Delphinater!

I also liked your peice, Myrcei. There's a sadness with which any human could relate. I enjoyed it, and besides a few mistakes ,it was indeed well written.

Do what you enjoy. Keep it up!