old man Nic and the squirrel

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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 65
all gather close
all gather near
i have a great story
i want you to hear!

once in a forest
lived a very old man
his name was Nicholas
and he drove a minivan

his moccasins were brown
his flannel;blood red
big burly muscles
and his abs;led

he had no wife
nor a child
he liked his salsa
very mild

but then one day
he saw a squirrely
and said i will kill it
with my muscles so burly


well old nic
set a trap
and sat in a chair
for an afternoon nap

when he awoke
whad'ya know
he had only captured
his neighbor Bo


then that night
the squirrel snuck in
and stole a cookie
from the cookie bin

old man nic
said thats enough!
and grabbed his axe
cause he was tough

death to rodents
he yelled and screamed
but in the trees
the mammal gleamed

tricky squirrel
that tricky squirrel
oh how you are so tricky
but i find your runny nose
oh so very icky

old man nic
finally went nuts
thats ironic
cause squirrels eat nuts
yeah the sun may brighten your day, but if i had my way, I'd take the rain

He gave her 12 roses. 11 real and one fake. Then he said "I'll love you till the last rose dies"




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Points 1659
Reviews 223
Punctuation is screaming....
Dreams they come and go...ever shall be so...




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 65
so sue me!!! i never puntuate totally, and i never will!
yeah the sun may brighten your day, but if i had my way, I'd take the rain

He gave her 12 roses. 11 real and one fake. Then he said "I'll love you till the last rose dies"




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 49
hahahahaha that was so dumb.
"It is a dull mind that can think of only one way to spell a word."




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Gender Male
Points 7718
Reviews 136
Epic...Just epic hahah.

I love random nonsence, the world of literature wouldnt be the awesome thing it is without some chaos every once and a while.

This peice lost me with the icky nose part but it was still great, definately a star.

I just love the zanyness, very well done hahah.

You can create masterpieces and you can create classics, I'm glad you created neither and both at the same time.

Would love more.
A story's not a story till you've made it up you see.
Look Mexico.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1290
Reviews 42
Wow.
Well, you spelled a few things wrong, it was kind of choppy, and you totally lost me a few times.
But it was certainly original and I laughed at that last part about squirrels eating nuts...
XD

And I don't usually punctuate my poetry either...
:roll:
"...she was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth..."

- 'Peter Pan' by J.M. Barrie




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Gender Female
Points 1215
Reviews 6
you know, i've been reading some reviews posted in people's works here. btw, i'm new here. been seeing a lot of comments on puntuation again and again in poems. such a negative comment to discourage a writer...i think.

i mean, to me it's not such a big deal everytime in poems. sometimes it is really needed. there are purposes why poets leave puntuation out. or else 'shape poem' would be like some sort of a heretic in the literary world.
MISS WEDNESDAY



Remember: no stress allowed. Have fun, and learn from your fellow writers - that's what storybooks are all about.
— Wolfi