I Love You

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 6
There must be some easier way to say these words,
but no matter what I try and say, the wrong thing might be heard.
I wish I could be there for you when you need me,
but it will probably not happen today, unfortunately.

I've been thinking over the same words for a while,
but I'm able to say them without you there but always with a smile.
There's always the vulnerability I've always had,
and it really makes me feel kind of sad.

Why can't you be here right now?
I need you, but the question is how.
I really miss your smile,
for it has been such a while.

Every now and again, I feel myself crying at night.
Maybe because I'm falling without a fight.
I want to be with you,
but it's hard because you might not get the clue.

Every night, I close my eyes and it's you I see in my dreams,
I feel like I'm not splitting at my own seams.
But one thing is for sure,
you're always in my heart and I don't want anything more.

Don't get me wrong,
I realize this sounds more like a song.
But everything I've said will always be true,
and I guess this is my way of saying "I Love You"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 10701
Reviews 356
Oh.... so sweeeeeeeeeeet!
*smiles* Hi, I'm Kat and I don't have much to say on this one.
I adored it! The rhyming was good, and i did not found any grammar mistakes. But sometimes you use words that don't actually rhyme, just resemble the others.
I would think that due to the fact that this has an irregular line length it would sound weird or out of place. But, incredibly, it didn't. At least for me.
My favorite lines were:
Every now and again, I feel myself crying at night.
Maybe because I'm falling without a fight.


So, that's all I have to say! I'm sure someone else will give you a more helpful review :wink:

*Kat*

Oh and welcome aboard to YWS! Any questions just PM me!
Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it. You feel it.

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User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1551
Reviews 21
Hey, Ocean_soul, excellent poem! Your rhyming was alright, although the second line in the second stanza seemed crowded.

It truly is cute...I mean sweet...no, I mean lovely--Wait, I mean, it makes me smiiiiiile.

Good Job!
Keep on Keeping on.
*Let us rise and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.--Buddha*




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 11
I've actually had a problem recently about not being able to express my feelings to this girl, a girl that I think is perfect! This poem was excellent, and one that I definately could relate to!

I loved it!
My upcoming novel/short story...

"Regrets" (Working title)

A man who keeps one eye on the past may learn from his mistakes, but a man who keeps both eyes directed to the past is blind.



People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
— Leo J. Burke