Stranded

This is a short writing I had written based on one of the prompts from my blog. (rgprompts.blogspot.com) Lemme know what you guys think, I'm open to suggestions to make it longer =]

I walked through the overgrown brush, kicking anything in my way. “Oh Noah, why don’t you take a nice relaxing cruise!” Mom had told me. “You deserve a vacation! And there’s this new cruise line opening up next month, why not go?”
I kicked a large rock out of my way as I grumbled about going on the cruise. “I should have just ignored them. I never should have gone of that damned cruise. Now I’m stuck on this godforsaken island.” Granted, I thought, the island would probably be a nice place if I wasn’t stranded here; nice beaches, cool breezes, plenty of wildlife.
I pushed my way through the last of the brush and walked onto the warm sand. I walked along the shore towards the burning fire, surrounded by women.
“Did you get anything?” one of them shouted.
“Only three rabbits,” I said, holding up the carcasses.
I handed them over to one of the women, and they began preparing them. A few minutes after I arrived, the other males started to return with more food. The women skinned and cooked all the animals that were brought back.
We were part way through the feast when the captain came from the ship. His beard over grown, and his brown hair long and matted. He looked like a younger version of the bums you see shouting about the apocalypse on street corners. He walked down the plank and sat with us around the fire, grabbing a roasted rabbit for himself.
“Anything?” a man asked.
The captain smiled. “I sent out another message. Someone should be here to rescue us within the week.”
Yeah, that’s what you said three months ago when we got stranded here…I thought to myself.

I like it. You have a really, really nice style . I think you could concentrate on really getting accross the tragedy this guy is going through. For example, how do humans react? Are they fighting against eachother? Maybe you could put accross his feelings more subtley. Instead of:

I kicked a large rock out of my way as I grumbled about going on the cruise.

The plastic, smiling holiday on the cereal packet (or whatever), a perfect family, all white teeth and good looks, and the phrase "smile for sun". Smile for sun, well, I'm not smiling for sun now...

You know what? I'm rambling and not very well either. Don't uset aht. It's awful, and you're much better than that. But I hope you get the idea.

I handed them over to one of the women, and they began preparing them

You need to change that to either "I handed them over to the women, and they began preparing them." or "I handed them over to one of the women, and she began preparing them."

Anyway, I want to know more about the other people stranded here. Has anyone lost their mind? Has anyone died? Does your character have any friends or anyone to talk to?
What are these people going through? what do they look like? Description, it needs more description.
But overall I do like it, and I want to read more. Just give your reader more of an insight into what this guy is going through and what all these other people are behaving like, because I'm sure after 3 months they can't ALL be in their right minds.

Hello, yes, hello there. Mind if I take a look? I thought not. =)

I walked through the overgrown brush, kicking anything in my way.

Weird. Firstly, why would he be walking through a "brush"? Not a "bush", by any chance? Also, had could you walk through a bush, especially if it's overgrown? I mean, it's essentially a tree with sticks and branches. And kicking would tear your feet to shreds. Sorry for being so picky, but you might want to make that "I walked over the overgrown bush...". Or such.

I kicked a large rock out of my way as I grumbled about going on the cruise.

This is too exact. Rephrase it somewhat: "as I grumbled about listening to my mother." Or something. Basically, find other ways to say what you are but keeping it real. I think "grumble" is a fairly inactive verb, too. Try something more interesting, like "groaned" or "moaned" or "ranted", even. Basically, they give more of a tone to it and the first one, as an example, tells the reader how loud it was too, if you understand.

I should have just ignored them. I never should have gone of that damned cruise. Now I’m stuck on this godforsaken island.

This has been dictated quite heavily already. I'd get rid of the first two sentences, since they more or less are what we can guess made the narrator grumble in the first place. And I don't know whether that last line is too "telling". And in a bad way, too. Try showing us this, and to be honest, you don't need it. I had already guessed he was on an island and it makes it sound tacky. You could just point out the sea and beach or whatever. In such a short piece, it benefits to "show" us these things. These type of things, in dialogue, also create a very robotic air too which is again something you should avoid, because that can help bring out a lot of character.

And, be blunt! Don't wreck the satire by extending it unnecessarily. For example:

Yeah, that’s what you said three months[s] ago when we got stranded here…I thought to myself[/s].

To be blunt. =P

Okays. Well, this is a short piece but it doesn't detract from the fact that it could, potentially, be so much more. Throw in some good description. I'm particularly interested in the narrator--what's his view on things? Sad? Depressed? Happy to be alone? Glad of the company? What're his relationships with everyone else like? Anyhow, well done but definitely concentrate on making this more believable--a thousand words should do it. Flash fiction just doesn't do it for me because it's so much more of a segment than a whole fruit, if you see what I mean.

I hope I've helped!

Best
Blinky