Survival - Edited

This is one of my first shots at writing poetry (I wrote this during Creative Writing Club a few hours ago.) Please feel free to inform me of what can be done to fix this poem up. Any helpful criticism will be greatly appreciated.

Are we made simply to survive?

To dream, to feel, to connect with one another?

Or are our fates written in the stars, unbeknownst to us?

And do our little choices add up to lead us to our final destination?


Perhaps we were made to connect with past generations

Setting a path of clues for the children of the future

Perhaps these clues will be their key to right all wrongs of our past.

Thank you for the review 200397!

Are we made to simply survive?

Are we made simply to survive?

To dream, feel, and connect with one another?

To dream, to feel, to connect with one another?

Or do we have our fate written in the stars, unbeknownst to us?

Or are our fates written in the stars, unbeknownst to us?*

And do our little choices add up to lead us to our final destination?


Perhaps we were made to connect with past generations

And to set a path of clues for our future children to follow

setting a path of clues for the children of the future

Perhaps these clues will be their key to right all wrongs of our past.

*Now, my spell check is underlining "unbeknownst" in red, but I think it's a real word; I've heard it before. Might want check it just in case.

OVERALL: I really liked this. I liked the simplicity and the real questions we ask ourselves. The lines in bold are my rewrites. I thought they might flow better in this form, but it is up to you.

Anyway, I liked it. Gold star!

~Sunny