The Hard Facts

The Hard Facts

I am convinced now that this world
is a terrible place
if it has you in it.
You with your tearful eyes, your
sad farewells, your
red-black shadow and your
unhealable heart.
Grow up.
That’s all I have to tell you.
I’m not some monster put here to eat you and
your angst is making me sick.
there, I just vomited
live in Technicolor rainbows
all over your front lawn.
Are you happy now?
I don’t want to hear about your
crocodile tears
your childish fancies and
romantic escapades, so
tell me no more lies
no more television soaps or
gothic-novel dramas
I’m sick of fiction, so
tell me something real.

OK, so its kind of...weird. And I freely admit its not deep; its a warm-up poem. The creative juices arent flowing yet after months of being on sabbatical. But it does encapsulate something I think most of you can probably relate to, and I like it, so I posted it.

"there, I just vomited
live in Technicolor rainbows
all over your front lawn.
Are you happy now?"

I really like that Made me laugh a little. Great tone. Also the first three lines set the mood for the whole poem, makes the reader wonder why, what are you annoyed about, who are you talking to, etc. Really liked this, can't find any flaws.

BAM! A sort of slap in the face there. A dark mood, and it seems like you were angry when you wrote this. No complaints here.

Um... very dark?

I'll never be able to post a good critique for poetry.

Wow. On rereading, it actually was kind of dark. Which is weird, since I wasnt angry at the time, just a little bit fed up at people using the cliche images over and over and pretending they were masterpieces. I was reading some poetry by beginning poets and it was all rhyming and "oh the pain, oh the humanity"...you know. Angst, angst, angst. Same old, same old. So I decided to get even, lol.