Cotton Yarn Friendship

Cotton Yarn Friendship

Once long ago
there was a chain,
thread through our hearts,
connecting us together.
Our emotions,
dragged through brick walls;
so in sync,
that every feeling
reverberated
through the steel of our relationship.

Now we have faded apart.
The chain has dissolved
into a thread
of a more beautiful
cotton yarn friendship.

Hey there Yoha! Ahoy... whatever . June here! I'm going to run over this for you even though there isn't much at all to say about this!

This is one of the few pieces that made me sigh happily. I really enjoyed this-- it's the type of poem that I would frame and hang on my bedroom wall.

thread through our hearts,

Question! I know that people use "thread" in the past tense sometimes, but do you think the word here should be "threaded"? That would only add another syllable to the line and not disrupt the flow too much. Just might save a bit of confusion.

I like the imagery you're playing with here. It's beautiful! The yarn is your connectivity-- yet, it so fragile, whilst you are so strong (the steel implies this). So without care, your bond can easily be separated. I love how much you've told us here in so little bit of words. Through the words you're using here and the structure you're using, you're showing us the beauty of the words.



Then! You bring us to the end or resolution. It's so sweetly sad! It's speaking so much in such a little bit of words. There is so much "fullness" and so much meaning to this poem.

As I read this poem, it brought back so many memories. When I first read it, I was thinking of your "yarn" as simply "being friends". However, the more I thought about this, I saw so much more than just friendship in this. The separation doesn't just have to be because the characters don't want to be friends, it can be anything. Death. A move. Anything; and that's why this poem carries so much emotion.

As I came to the ending, the wording reminded me of a quilt. People often used to compare life to a quilt -- especially those in the south, who would make their quilts out of things that held the most memories. Your closing lines:

The chain as dissolved

into a thread

of a more beautiful

cotton yarn friendship.

Those lines remind me of a quilt... It's something with dissolving, and thread and friendship, that just makes me sigh happily and say, "Wow."


Also! Minor error? I believe "as" is supposed to be "has" in that last bit?



I really, really enjoyed this poem. It's like, sending me into a reverie of childish memories. I absolutely loved it (If you can't already tell that from my ranting!)

Brilliant job! A perfect 10/10 and gold star for you .


June

Keep it up! Now I want to read more of your poetry!

Thank you June for the wonderful review!

~Yoyo