The prologue of 'change'

Here you go, please read and enjoy This is the corrected version !

Prologue
Waves battered a lone white building which stood somewhere along the coast of the Mediterranean. The outside walls were covered with sea salt, but the inside, they were blanketed with around an inch of dust and grime, for the scientists inside did not care about the conditions they worked in. They could hardly even hear the waves outside, due to the humming of the machinery inside the building itself. At that current moment, the group of eight was crowded around a small cube shaped machine, with a glass front. When looked at through this side, a small humanoid shape could be made out through the fogged up glass
“I think he’s ready!” one of the scientists said excitedly, writing something on a small dull brown clipboard he was holding.
“I didn’t believe we could actually achieve this… there were so many lost lives…” another scientist muttered,
“They could hardly be counted as lives… And the important thing is we have.” The scientist named Rupert added, much to the agreement of his fellow colleagues. The group continued to stare at their creation.
“Daddy!”
The group turned to find a small 5 year old boy, running up to one of their colleagues.
“Dominic! How many times do you need to be warned of the dangers you put us all into when you bring your boy to work?” Rupert said, glaring at the young man.
“His name is Maximilian! And he’s very interested in what we do here in the lab” Dominic said smiling proudly. Then he then turned to his son and added, “You want to be a scientist like daddy when you grow up, don’t you Maxi?”
Maxi looked up at his dad and nodded shyly, embarrassed due to all the attention he had attracted.
“Interested or not, he is a child, and could endanger our entire project just by the push of a button!” Rupert said looking down at the boy. It was as if he had committed a hideous crime just for being born. “But since he’s here already… He might as well stay, but only for today! Mind you, keep him out of trouble though, or it will be you facing the consequences.”
“Yes sir.” The young Dominic replied, taking a hold of his son’s hand and moving the boy away from the group, to show him what they were working on.
“What’s in there?” Maxi asked innocently looking up at his father.
Dominic looked round at the other scientists, but none of them were paying any more attention to them.
“It’s just a small project we’re working on… that could end this horrible war.” Dominic said to his son, choosing his words carefully. Maxi looked up at his dad proudly thinking of how much he wanted to be like him when he grew up. He then turned round and took a step towards something on the machine’s right… another machine, in the form of a cylinder, which seemed to be emitting an eerie golden glow.
“What about that?” the boy said, pointing at it.
“That’s something that helped us make the project... DNA” His father answered, wondering if he had told his son too much.
Maxi looked around the lab in awe, and again, his eye fell upon the mysterious small shape in the larger machine, this time falling on its face…
“Daddy?!!” Maxi yelled… his voice shaking with horror. All the scientists turned and looked at the young man and his son.
“What happened Max?!” Dominic said to him, worried.
“There’s a face in that big box thingy!!” Maxi replied, still horrified.
“It’s a boy! Just like you I may add, he’s what we’ve been working on… our pride and joy.” Rupert came out of nowhere, obviously delighted by Maxi’s discomfort...and that of the boy behind the glass.
“Yes, it’s a boy… Just like you! He could end all the suffering and starvation and deaths that come with this horrendous war!” Dominic said, trying not to think about the blood lust in his boss’s voice. He grabbed his son by the shoulder. Maxi shook his father’s hand off and took a step closer to the machine. Inside, the boy turned towards him and reached out with his hand, only able to touch the glass by his fingertips due to the wires attached to him, pulling him back.
“He’s scared… you’re hurting him!” Maxi said reaching his hand out to touch the glass which separated both boys.
“It’s for his own good; he could hurt someone if he was let out...Think about all the good he could do for this God forsaken world!” Dominic said to his son, looking for some sort of acceptance in his eyes.
“Good? War…” Maxi said as if starting to see his father’s point. Suddenly, the boy behind the glass writhed in pain. “No…NO! YOU’RE HURTING HIM!!”
“Maxi…”his father said, reaching a hand out to his son, trying to pull him away from the machine, but his son’s hands were pressed against the glass and he would not be moved. Maxi looked into the pain filled eyes of the boy, inside those eyes stared back out through the foggy glass and saw the horrified expression on Maxi’s face, also… he found something he had never seen before… worry… for him? The two boys were so still, that they almost looked like pieces on a chessboard, nervously awaiting the next move. Both silent, both staring…
“Dominic, get your child out of here at once!!” Rupert said, his eyes clouded with anger. “Look at the negative effect he is having upon our experiment! It is obvious he is not yet old enough to grasp the concept of what our work could do for humanity!” With this, he forcefully removed Maxi’s hand from the glass and pushed him towards the open door, making him fall onto his hands and knees.
BOOM
The lab shook as the machine carrying the boy exploded causing everyone to be blasted against the far wall. Everyone, except for two small shapes in the centre of the room, clouded in debris and dust… both still staring at each other. The boy staring at Maxi was around his own age, with blond hair and strange eyes which matched his hair. The strangest thing about him was his pale gold skin, which shone in the darkness of the laboratory.
“MAXI!!!” Dominic yelled, picking himself up, “Get away from the other boy, before he hurts you!” But still, the boys stared at each other, neither moving a muscle.
“Dominic… LOOK!” Rupert said, pointing at the smaller machine which had contained the DNA, it was now utterly smashed due to the explosion. “The DNA’s escaped!! Maximilian’s young so he’s extremely vulnerable to it! He may be affected by it if he isn’t evacuated from this area soon!” But it was too late as Maxi started to shake horribly and suddenly, fell to the ground, unconscious, but still shaking.
Dominic stared at his son, horrified, and then ran towards him and dropped beside him on his knees. Suddenly, the golden boy knelt down and leaned forward to help Maxi, but his hand was stopped.
“Don’t touch him!!” Dominic said, hitting the golden boy’s hand away from his son, “This is all YOUR fault!” He then gently picked up his son in his hands. Maxi had stopped shaking but was still unconscious, and he was starting to turn an unnatural bright red colour. Dominic stared down at his son in horror again as Maxi started shaking even more and more uncontrollably… turning even redder by the second.
By that time, the other scientists had come to see what had happened. Seeing all the others running towards them, the golden boy picked himself up. All the while staring down at the shaking boy in his father’s arms, as the scientists got closer, he moved away and made for the door. Hearing the boy escaping, Maxi regained some consciousness and looked up at the retreating boy… he then mustered all the strength he could.
“W…what’s your n..n..ame?” he called
“I don’t… know” the boy said, his voice filled with sadness.
Maxi’s father looked at his son and saw his face fall at the golden boy’s words.
“His name is… Aurelian” Dominic said looking up at the golden boy.
With that, Maxi smiled and then, lost consciousness once more. Aurelian seeing this, rushed out of the room, his face full of pain and his body emitting the golden glow his hair and eyes carried, making him stand out even more. Seeing their ‘experiment’ escaping, the scientists made to run after him.
“Leave him be, we’ve done enough!” Dominic said, after looking at his son’s smile, and much to the surprise of everyone present, Rupert did not protest at his employee’s command. And with that, the golden boy was left to escape into the world, along with the DNA. The scientists then sat in silence and wondered what havoc they had unleashed…

Hello, here as promised. First of all, I really liked this. The story flowed very well, and there were but a few awkward sentences. The descriptions were often quite good, however, you do have some little technical difficulties.

First: Don't use caps as much as you do here. If it is used so often, it loses its meaning. Try to switch them to italics or if need be; bold.

Second: As good as the prologue is, it feels a bit cliche and done already many times, but you really can't tell from just the prologue.

Third: Show don't tell (you're going to hear this a million times): so describe the feelings, places etc. a bit more.

HOWEVER (see what it looks like?)
as I already said, there were not many mistakes, and I will eagerly anticipate more.

Hello, :peeks in: looks like I get first review!

First of all, your opening sentence. It didn't really do it's job, to hook the reader in.

The air hummed with the sound of working machinery, as a group of eight scientists, worked in a dingy laboratory off the coast of the Mediterranean, in the middle of the Second World War.

You set the time place and atmosphere, all in one short sentence. Someone told me, I think it was Nutty, that you have to keep an idea per sentence, in this one you have 3.
And also, might I suggest stingy as a better word, for me, I keep on reading it as Dingy - the small boat.

* * *

The walls were battered and the floor was covered with almost an inch of dust and grime, as the scientists were so addicted to their work, they never so much as thought of the appalling conditions they worked in.

Again, this is a lot of sentences separated by commas, and it's all jumbled up into one... read over your work, and you'll see what I mean. This type of error is here on referred to as the "Shorten it" error.

* * *

“I didn’t believe we could actually achieve this…” another scientist muttered, “I mean… so much broken machinery and failed experiments and all the lives lost…!””

You have two quote marks here... just thought that I would point that out.

* * *

“They could hardly be counted as LIVES… And the important thing is we have!” The first scientist said cutting in, much to the agreement of his colleagues.

Lives should be in italics, unless your character is shouting the word, which I got the impression that he wasn't. I might also say that "much to the agreement" just sounds a little weird, the context that you have used both, "Much to the..." and "Agreement" don't work together. Oh, and agreement could be in the next sentence over. Shorten it.

* * *

"I’m not sure about all this… what if he falls into the wrong hands?” she added, “Or what if he’s too powerful for us to handle, Rupert?!”

Hmmmm.... classic scientist thing to do, isn't it... work for hours... and then contradict yourself? (sarcasm)

* * *

“What if something happens to that and it escapes into the air? Who knows what the consequences would be!?”

"That" ( the one that I bold-ed) should be in italics!?
Yeah, that's right, I used your improper grammar there... so wotcha gonna do about it? Change yours? Good choice!

* * *

The rest of the scientists muttered in agreement and continued staring at the machine… pondering all the questions they had.

I thought that they were looking at the glass with the human that they just created!

* * *

That is why I am proposing twenty-four hour surveillance by one of us, thus, the project can be monitored and any malfunctions or attempts at sabotage can be prevented!”

Wuh-Oh, insert evil scientist who takes the invention while on-one is looking!

* * *

"Rupert added, when a young boy, of about seven or eight years old, with jet black hair and light blue eyes ran into the room. "

Shorten it.

* * *

Daddy!” The child yelled and ran up to one of the younger scientists of the group (who bore a striking resemblance to him) much to the annoyed looks of the others.

Read the sentence to yourself, minus the brackets. Does it make sense? You need to put a comma before the brackets, and shorten it, which would mean re-working after the brackets and making that comma previously mentioned a full stop.

* * *

"Dominic! How many times do you need to be warned of the dangers you put us all into when you bring your boy to work?” Rupert said, obviously annoyed.

Ah, see what you just did there. Same word in the sentence above it, change it.

* * *

“His name is Maximilian! And he’s very interested in what we do here in the lab” Dominic said smiling proudly, he then turned to his son and added,

Dominic said, smiling proudly. then he turned to his son and added,

* * *

Maxi looked up at his dad and nodded shyly, flustered due to all the attention he had attracted.

He's a little kid, is he really going to be "flustered", of just embarrassed?

* * *

“Interested or not, he is a child, and [s]SO[/s](is he a teenage girl now, I don't get it.) could endanger our entire project just by [s]a[/s] the push of a button!” Rupert said(comma) looking down at the boy[s],[/s](full stop) It was as if he had committed some sort of hideous crime just for [s]just[/s] being born (Full stop) “But since he’s here already… (capital)he might as well stay, but [s]ONLY[/s] only for today! Mind you(comma) keep him out of trouble though(comma) or it will be [s]YOU[/s] you facing the consequences.”

* * *

“Yes sir( full stop)” (capital)the young Dominic replied, taking a hold of his son’s hand and moving the boy away from the group(punctuation) to show him what they were working on, [s]the large machine with the small human shaped figure.[/s]

* * *

Maxi looked around the lab in awe(comma) and again, his eye fell upon the mysterious small shape in the larger machine, this time falling on its face…

* * *

Rupert had turned out of nowhere, obviously delighted by Maxi’s discomfort...and that of the boy behind the glass.

Should be like this...
Rupert came out of nowhere, obviously delighted by Maxi’s discomfort...and that of the boy behind the glass.

* * *

“Yes, it’s a boy… Just like YOU! He could end all the suffering and starvation and deaths that come with this horrendous war!” Dominic said, TRYING not to think about the blood lust in his boss’s voice.

All those in capitals, please surrender and make your way over the the Italics department,
all those in capitals, please surrender and make your way over the the Italics department. Thank you!

* * *

Inside, the boy turned towards him and reached out with his hand, only able to touch the glass by his fingertips due to the wires [s]and mess [/s]attached to him, pulling him back.

* * *

“It’s for his own good[s] son[/s]; he could hurt someone if he was let out...Think about all the good he could do for this God forsaken world!” Dominic said to his son, looking for some sort of acceptance in his eyes.

* * *

(capitals)with this, he forcefully removed Maxi’s hand from the glass and pushed him towards the open door, making him fall onto his hands and knees.

* * *

BO[s]O[/s]OM

* * *

The boy staring at Maxi was around his own age, with blonde ( I think it's spelt bolnd) hair, which shone in the darkness of the laboratory so it looked almost golden, he also had eyes almost the same colour as his hair but this time, they [s]WERE [/s] were golden.

What? No golden skin?

* * * * *

Cool story, nice descriptions, you just need to keep to that whole... 1 idea, 1 sentence, otherwise, it was good! Keep writing, will you PM me when the next part is up?

Amniel wrote:Third: Show don't tell (you're going to hear this a million times): so describe the feelings, places etc. a bit more. I have here an example

I don’t… know” the boy said, his voice filled with sadness.

Here you really should described the sadness more. For example "the boy said, his voice heavy with aching sadness" etc. Use adjectives whenever possible, as much as possible.

Sorry, but this is not true, adjectives are weighty and not needed. If something needs an adjective for emotion then it best be used with meaning. Describing sadness with an adjective is not the route to go, perhaps showing sadness with his eyes watering up and becoming hot. Any emotion that is key to forming a bond with the reader and character should be given space to define the feeling in words, never ever stating it.

Second corrections for Asxz, Dingy not dingey.

Dingy:
1. Darkened with smoke and grime; dirty or discolored.
2. Shabby, drab, or squalid.

It was a simple typo, but the I believe this is what was meant and it works great except for the fact the sentence DOES have too much going on and it needs to be broken up and expanded.

Anyways, on to a few comments about this prologue.

You had two things which tend to confuse and distract me from the piece. The amount of information loaded into your sentences was a piece of it, but the constant stressing and playing with words and characters was worse. Yes it is a prologue, but you are so dramatic and tell us nothing that this doesn't do anything to capture the readers attention.

Remove all the emphasis on words unless it is important and tell us more about what is going on or change it so that we readers do not become confused or lost in the bulk of words which have no meaning to us.