My parents brought up my little brother to be the least bit of gay. Football since he was 4, adding in soccer at 7, and even karate somewhere along the way. He was graduating high school this year, and I was in my Junior year of college.
It was Christmas break when my brother came out to me, but I really didn’t need an explanation. The 6’2” young man I dared to call my “little” brother made it perfectly clear to me one fateful night. Terrance Gabriel Walker, the star running back of Cortland, Iowa’s high school football team, got caught kissing another boy by his older sister.
I was working on a research paper we had been assigned before break on my laptop in the sunroom of my parent’s house, sipping on some coffee and enjoying the silence. Mom came downstairs after awhile in her salmon pink nightgown and bunny slippers and started to make breakfast. I got up and went to help her, she was cooking for three extra people today.
Dad had died a few years ago, and it had been Mom and Terry since then because I was attending college out of state. Terry had had his best friend stay overnight and our Uncle Troy was staying with Mom for awhile to help out during the holidays. Will was always welcome at our home, ever since the boys were kids. Mom had basically given him my room while I was gone since he didn’t have the best home life. She stood hunched over the stove, wiping her sleepy eyes, and stirring a pot of gravy.
“Mom, go sit down, you need to wake up.” I turned the heat down to low before she scalded the gravy, and led her to her rocking chair. “I’m going to go wake up the boys.” She was already back asleep. I dragged myself up the stairs and to Uncle Troy’s door. I knocked and opened the door so the smell of food would wake him up. Then across the hallway to where the boys were supposedly still sleeping. I opened the door, and to my surprise, I saw my little brother, my Terrance, working his way down Will’s neck with his teeth.
I tried to speak, but all I could do was try to catch my breath. I gasped loudly for air and Terrance looked up at me in horror. He sprang up from the floor where Will was under him and pulled me into the room, shutting the door behind me.
“Don’t you dare say a word, I can’t do that to mom.” he said while covering my mouth and pure sorrow in his eyes. He knew just as well as I did that she would be disappointed and think she failed as a mother. I took a moment to process what I had just seen, and to catch my breath after he had taken his hand off of my mouth and slumped over onto his bed. Will sat up quietly and zoned out on something in the corner.
After my shock subsided, I realized I was still pinned to the door. I relaxed, took a deep breath and looked at both of them. “I won’t tell her, but you do know she’ll find out somehow, right?” I said, and I was still out of breath.
“Yeah I know.” Terrance said and his head sunk into hands, pushing his shaggy auburn hair back out of his face. He sighed and looked over at Will sadly. “So now that she knows, what now?” Will looked up and seemed a bit angry.
“Why don’t we just tell your mother and get it over with before she goes senile?” Will said with a bit of ice on his tongue. He looked very hurt, his knees were curled up to his chest, and disappointment covered his features like a veil over his usually energetic personality. Terrance looked at him with a bewildered expression.
“Oh because she’s not senile already, Will?! You know how she would be. She’s always thought of us as brothers, not lovers! She would think we were sick and disturbing. She wouldn’t accept me anymore!” He nearly shouted. Will shrunk back a little.
“I’m sorry. But you don’t know that, maybe she wouldn’t care. Maybe she would love us just the same.” he said and looked on the brink of tears.
“Will…” Terrance started to say but then I interrupted.
“Boys, you should tell her.” I said and looked at both of them who were looking at me like I was crazy. “If she doesn’t accept you, you two can come stay with me in my apartment after you graduate.” They both started to smile, I had always been their favorite sibling. The others were not the most friendly of people.
“Thanks April.” they said in unison and looked at each other again.
“No problem. Now get dressed and come down for breakfast.” I said as if nothing had happened and stepped out of the room slowly.
