I Will Not Run

Just a quick note: I realize this poem lacks description, but description was never my strong point. My current style as a poet is to simply say what I need to say..but I'll work on description with time, so please, try not to be too harsh on this poem.

I Will Not Run

When darkness comes,
I will not run.
I’ll stand my ground
And wait for the sun.

Even when all my demons
Find way to me,
When they blind me
Until I cannot see…

I will not run.
With open arms,
I’ll wait for the sun.

2009 Vincent Cuccolo

Wow. I'm not sure what your meaning behind this was, but I have found my own meaning.

They way I see it, this poem describes life. All your demons come and find you, and you struggle every day just to stand still.

And even though life gets horrible, you know your sun is coming, someday.

For me my sun is heaven, so I am waiting for my sun, and I will go trough all whole lot of crap to get it.

Very nice job.

Keep writing!

wow! This is an amazing poem. I really liked this! Great job.

PoeticGlow wrote:Just a quick note: I realize this poem lacks description, but description was never my strong point. My current style as a poet is to simply say what I need to say..but I'll work on description with time, so please, try not to be too harsh on this poem.

I Will Not Run

When darkness comes,
I will not run.
I’ll stand my ground
And wait for the sun. This last line is off-rhythm with the rest of the stanza. One syllable too many.

Even when all my demons
Find way to me, This should be "find their way to me." And semicolon instead of the comma.
When they blind me
Until I cannot see… The whole stanza lacks rhythm.

I will not run.
With open arms,
I’ll wait for the sun. This three-line stanza doesn't fit with the other four-line stanzas. Pick a length and stay consistent.

2009 Vincent Cuccolo

Overall, I thought the underlying message was a good one, but I didn't particularly enjoy the execution. The rhyme scheme adds nothing to the poem, and it actually makes my mind stutter when I read this. Also, I find that the the shortness of this doesn't allow for a full explanation. When I read this, I end up feeling empty. I didn't gain anything from reading this. Poetry is supposed to strike an emotional chord and resonate with you. This... didn't.

I hope this helped and that I wasn't too hard on you.

Hey there PG! June here!

There's something about your poems that I absolutely love. I'm not sure what it is; but, everything I've read by you is just amazing.

This poem has that quick, brisk flow to it. Brilliant. It's perfect-- The narrator is saying what he will not do, but the way that it comes off is as if, he knows that he is bound to do the opposite of what he's saying, but he's trying to make himself believe that by saying that he won't do it. Am I making sense?

Anyway! There was a bit of drag... in the third stanza. I think that the first line can be clipped a little bit:

PoeticGlow wrote:


Even when [s]all my[/s] demons
Find way to me, (Should this be "Find their way..."?)
When they blind me
Until I cannot see…

Other than that, it was perfectly written. Very well versed-- simple, but perfect in almost every way.

This is the type of poem that doesn't need description. Adding description might kill this, so you're good.

Keep it up! I look forward to seeing more of your work around here!

10/10

June