Sorry

This is a poem about why I always say sorry. It's basically just me expressing myself. So if it sucks as bad as i think it does, then tell me how 2 fix it. thanx.


When your not pleased;
When you don't like, what you see in me.
I will say sorry.
When your not happy,
When you can't smile at me.
I will say sorry.
Because I need you to accept me.
And you can't, For that I am sorry.

Again it falls on my lips.
Again in remorse, I breathe this word.
For reasons that are not enough to be reasons.
But for what I am, I'm sorry.

As lonliness becomes my friend, I start to wonder;
Yeilding space for doupts to envade, the empty corners of my mind.
Memorys fill the voided holes inside my heart, that pain has carved.
The words that lie to me, press against my scars, and I believe.
And so I say sorry.

My addiction to this word,
Comes from one single hurt.
I'm not enough.
And so I'm sorry.
A beauty true; Held on the outside.
But inside, Impossible to Love.
You cannot love me, Now I'm damned to lonliness;
I'm sorry.
My heart is torn and marred; I'm sorry.
My blood has stained your life, I'm sorry.

Through my eyes, your in disgust.
My brokeness annoys you...I'm sorry.

A plague, come to haunt the world;
Is what I feel my heart is.
And so I appologize; I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I cursed you, with my life envading yours.
I'm sorry that I burdened you, with my mess of tears.
I'm sorry that I plauge you, with the sight of my heart.
I'm sorry that I've damned you to misery; by the sight of me.
Please forgive me, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I breathed. I sorry I've lived. I'm sorry that I'm here to hurt you
with my neediness now.
When I grow out of this word, It will mean, I have grown out of this hurt.
No more; Sorry.

I loved the poem but it's kinda depressing, I'm sorry... . I'll do a report later, 'cause I'm in IT right now. Carry on writing!

Yea, Well...I'm trying to grow out of this word. And I'm making slow progression. But it helped me to get all the hurt out, i think it's a part of healing. But yea, your right. It is depressing.

Hey there, my mystique eyes! Kat's here for a review!
So, this is good. I liked it. there are some mistakes. You keep using "your" as "you're".
Like:

When your not pleased;

It should be "you're" because you're using the verb "to be" not a possessive pronouns. And you repeat this mistake along the poem. You should fix that up.

I loved the second stanza and I think it needs no change. In the forth stanza I think the lines are a bit too long. And so along the poem you have no flow. No constant flow. So maybe try to fix that?

A beauty true; held on the outside.

But inside, impossible to Love.
You cannot love me, now I'm damned to loneliness; [it was spelled wrong]

These words didn't need to be capitalized.

Oh, and after sixth stanza I thought it had ended. I think the other stanza isn't needed, because the one above finishes the poem.

And that's all I have to say! Hope I helped.
Feel free to PM me if you have any question!

*Kat*

My-mystique-Eyes wrote:This is a poem about why I always say sorry. It's basically just me expressing myself. So if it sucks as bad as i think it does, then tell me how 2 fix it. thanx.


When your not pleased;
When you don't like, what you see in me.
I will say sorry.
When your not happy,
When you can't smile at me.
I will say sorry.
Because I need you to accept me.
And you can't, For that I am sorry.

Again it falls on my lips.
Again in remorse, I breathe this word.
For reasons that are not enough to be reasons.
But for what I am, I'm sorry.

As lonliness becomes my friend, I start to wonder;
Yeilding space for doupts to envade, the empty corners of my mind.
Memorys fill the voided holes inside my heart, that pain has carved.
The words that lie to me, press against my scars, and I believe.
And so I say sorry.

My addiction to this word,
Comes from one single hurt.
I'm not enough.
And so I'm sorry.
A beauty true; Held on the outside.
But inside, Impossible to Love.
You cannot love me, Now I'm damned to lonliness;
I'm sorry.
My heart is torn and marred; I'm sorry.
My blood has stained your life, I'm sorry.

Through my eyes, your in disgust.
My brokeness annoys you...I'm sorry.

A plague, come to haunt the world;
Is what I feel my heart is.
And so I appologize; I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I cursed you, with my life envading yours.
I'm sorry that I burdened you, with my mess of tears.
I'm sorry that I plauge you, with the sight of my heart.
I'm sorry that I've damned you to misery; by the sight of me.
Please forgive me, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I breathed. I sorry I've lived. I'm sorry that I'm here to hurt you
with my neediness now.
When I grow out of this word, It will mean, I have grown out of this hurt.
No more; Sorry.

You might not want to change it, but here's grammatic advice. I think the first line should end in a comma, not a semi-colon. Then the comma on the second line should be rubbed out. Then after 'what you see in me', make it a comma and not a fullstop. On the 5th line, make the fullstop a comma. And then I'll let you work out the rest.

My-mystique-Eyes wrote:This is a poem about why I always say sorry. It's basically just me expressing myself. So if it sucks as bad as i think it does, then tell me how 2 fix it. thanx.


When your not pleased;
When you don't like, what you see in me.
I will say sorry.
When your not happy,
When you can't smile at me.
I will say sorry.
Because I need you to accept me.
And you can't, For that I am sorry.

Again it falls on my lips.
Again in remorse, I breathe this word.
For reasons that are not enough to be reasonable. <--fixed
But for what I am, I'm sorry.

As loneliness becomes my friend, I start to wonder; <--- paragraph fixed
Yielding space for doubts to invade the empty corners of my mind.
Memories fill the voided holes inside my heart, that pain has carved.
The words that lie to me, press against my scars, and I believe.
And so I say sorry.

My addiction to this word,
Comes from one single hurt.
I'm not enough.
And so I'm sorry.
A beauty true; Held on the outside. <-- ?what do you mean by beauty true? is it 'True Beauty?'
But inside, Impossible to Love.
You cannot love me, Now I'm damned to loneliness;
I'm sorry.
My heart is torn and marred; I'm sorry.
My blood has stained your life, I'm sorry.

Through my eyes, your in disgust.
My brokenness annoys you...I'm sorry.

A plague, come to haunt the world;
Is what I feel my heart is.
And so I apologize; I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I cursed you, with my life invading yours.
I'm sorry that I burdened you, with my mess of tears.
I'm sorry that I plague you, with the sight of my heart.
I'm sorry that I've damned you to misery; by the sight of me.
Please forgive me, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I breathed. I sorry I've lived. I'm sorry that I'm here to hurt you
with my neediness now.
When I grow out of this word, It will mean, I have grown out of this hurt.
No more; Sorry.

Interesting, a few minor spelling mistakes, and miss worded words. Still really good though, thanks for sharing!