jetlag poetry - I

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8846
Reviews 531
hey guys, I´m in Salamanca, Spain right now. Sitting in an internet cafe at a comp with a crappy keyboard with missing tilethingies.


jetlag poetry
the onset of a jetlag

you can´t hold onto things that slip
so easily from your grasp like grass
shards of mirrors that show only
shallow likeness
man with red hands resembles
red herring but not the kind in the
fish yard
the kind you paint your houses with
and
sombersullen memories of begotten
fallacies come and go with
the onset of sterilzing
the new moon

the monster inside doesn’t hold his
breath for long and in the
deep dark depths of demensia
he awakes
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

Got YWS?




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1078
Reviews 333
he awakes
Shouldn't it be he awakens?

All I can say is... lots of metaphors... that I didn't really connect the dots with...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 323
Wow, thats cool. I don't know if you wrote that on the comp or not but if you did thats cool that you wrote it one that had missing KEYS. But it was a really good poem without that in mind. I had to read a few times before I unterstood. If you ment 'Awakens' I think you should change it because I think 'Awakes' sound better. But it was great.
***Honorary 11-Year-Old***

Heh-COT-ee-GUR-el

Got YWS?



Be led by your talent and not by your self-loathing ... everything beautiful in the world is within you.
— Russell Brand