Love Never Dies - Story of Cindernose and Lionfang.

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chenka
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Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:24 pm
chenka says... · Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:24 pm

Note: Here are some important characters, Lionfang, Cindernose, Blackstar, Minnowstar, Harepaw[Harefoot], Sandkit[Sandfang], and Lionkit[Not Lionfang]. None of these cats are from the original warrior series.


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The stench of salty blood hung in the air. A clump of branches moved from a tree hovered over the battle sight. In the branches a dark gray flash moved away, farther into the leaves of the oak. The cat's jump was quick and agile. As her paws landed on another tree, she passed through a imaginary boundary line that separated two different lands.
"Cindernose?" a voice called out, his tall twitching as he noticed the scent of blood, "Why... why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?" The orange tabby came into view, his eyes clearly filled with worried.
"No, I'm not hurt," she told him, her head rubbing against his own, "A GorgeClan patrol came by and a stupid badger had to be at the wrong place. I was surprised my apprentice didn't see me. Poor Harepaw. If only I was a better mentor." The orange tabby shook his head and licked the top of her own.
"No, you are a great mentor. Have you forgotten about Darkstripe? He's a wonderful warrior. No, my love, you are a great mentor," he told her a purr emitting from his throat, "Cindernose, I can't stay long. I think Blackstar may be catching on especially since his deputy is gone so much."
"Oh Lionfang, what are we going to do? We can't possibly stay here." she asked him, her head still against his neck. She had already talked to her medicine cat and there was something growing in her that would put both her and Lionfang in jeopardy.
"What are you talking about?" he asked her his voice worried as he tried to pick apart the sentence.
"Lionfang, I'm pregnant. I've managed to hide it quite well with eating a lot of prey, but my medicine cat knows. She's a kind old thing and she promises not to tell Minnowstar, but I know I wont be able to hide it when they are born," she told him. She could feel her love stop breathing for a few moments while she tried explaining to him. Cindernose slowly stepped back and looked up at the orange tabby. She could see the surprise in his eyes, but there was something else hidden there that she wasn't quite sure about.
"Kits? Mine? I'm going to be a father? When?" he asked her, his eyes shinning as he slowly pushed away the surprise and let the love flow through him.
Cindernose's eyes brightened up and responded quickly,"I knew I should have told you earlier. They are due any day. I'm not very big so my medicine cat and I think there is only one. I didn't know how or when to tell you. And I was afraid you might be angry."
"Angry, about my family, my new life? Never. I love you Cindernose and I wouldn't be able to live without you. Now I wont be able to live without you or my new sons or daughters," he told her; taking a step forward and licking the top of her head.

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TWO DAYS LATER:

"What's wrong Cindernose?" Lionfang's voice rang through the she-cat's ears as she looked around wildly. She didn't need to answer as both leaders from GorgeClan and RiverClan came from the trees on each side of the territories.
"Liongfang! I do wish you have an explanation!" Blackstar's voice boomed over everyone's surprised gasps. Lionfang's father stepped forward and looked down on his son with disgust.
"Cindernose, please tell me it's the prey I'm looking at. You have brought dishonor to the Clan," Minnowstar's voice yelled over Blackstar's. Her hiss filled the clearing and Lionfang slowly moved over Cindernose to protect her. His terrifying snarl ripped through each and every cat in the clearing. Cindernose's ears laid against her head head and her teeth were showing, but out of pure fear. The scent of fear surrounded both Lionfang and Cindernose and the leaders could feel this.
"Whitefur, please teach Lionfang why we don't met GorgeClan cats in secret," Blackstar told the white tom next to him. The white cat crept forward, his massive build towering over Lionfang's long and nimble build. He jumped, Cindernose's yowl was heard throughout the forest as the two cats began fighting.
"No!" she yelped as Whitefur bit into Lionfang's neck, blood leaking from the large gash. There were a few gurgles and soon the body stopped twitching. Onlookers turned to Cindernose, but she was no where to be seen.
"The death of Lionfang will forever be remembered as well as the death of Cindernose," Minnowstar called out. Harepaw's ear flicked towards Cindernose's retreating scent and he yowled in pain. His mentor was gone, the best mentor in the world.
"You did this! You are all horrible!" he screeched and followed his mentor's scent.

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TWO YEARS LATER:
"Harefoot! Sandfang! Where are you two at?" Cindernose's old voice rang through the little bush. Her dark gray pelt showing signs of lighter gray and white strands. She turned her head as she heard the rustling in the bush.
"We're here mother," her daughter's voice rang through her ears and out came a beautiful, young, overly heavy she-cat. Her sandy-brown pelt was completely with darker tabby stripes. Out behind her stepped Harefoot, the handsome young tom that had been Cindernose's apprentice so long ago. His muscle build was larger and his creamy white fur shone where the sunlight touched it. In his mouth were two large mice and a plump vole.
"Ah, green-leaf is treating us well. Sandfang, please tell me you didn't help. My daughter is pregnant and hunting! I do hope you planning to calm down. Any day they should be coming; not healthy," Cindernose's voice was firm, but it had a loving flow through it.
"Mother! You can't tell me you forgot that you ran with me just a few days before I was born," she told her mother as she laid down next to her. Her fur ruffled with happiness as her mate laid next to her. Harefoot had been the best thing that happened to her life and now she wold bore his kits.
"Yes, that was a mistake," Cindernose said with a laughter spurting through her voice. Sandfang shook her head with a small smile.
"Woah," she said placing, her tail to her stomach, "Was I ever this wild?"
"Once," Cindernose said with a smile,"A few days before when your father and I met he was lying next to me and we both felt you. He said it felt like you were trying to jump out of me." Cindernose's voice crackled at the mention of Lionfang.
"Oh mother, I wish I could have seen him; told him that he was the best," Sandfang's voice rang through the small bush. Tears rolled both she-cat's faces as they began to cry.
"Come now, you two," Harefoot said, his deep calming voice raising above the she-cats' sobs,"He is still with us and he hears everything you two say. Never forget that StarClan still looks down on us with pity. We should have never been at fault."
Cindernose smiled, one last teardrop falling to the floor. She had raised her son-in-law and daughter well. Now she would become a grandmother. I love you, she thought to Lionfang, her head tilting up to the small break of sky through the branches.

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TWO DAYS LATER:

"MOTHER! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME!" Sandfang called out as her mother faded out into unconsciousness; the loud hissed of Harefoot raising over the yelps of the fox. Sandfang sat by her mother, blood on her own claws and back. She tried to stop the bleeding from Cindernose's neck, but it wouldn't. A yowl rose through the she-cat's throat as Harefoot came to stand next to her; pelt full of his own and the fox's blood.
"Shh, let her leave. Lionfang is waiting for her. Let her go to StarClan in peace," the tom told her, his head against Sandfang's neck. Her sobs were getting quieter and she laid down, her sobs turning into yowls of pain.
"Sangfang, what's wrong!?" he screamed at her, slowly dragging Cindernose away from his mate's.
"It's the kits," she gasped, "Their coming!"
--
As the yowls disappeared from the clearing a new muffled noise came from besides Sandfang and Harefoot.
"He's beautiful. He looks so much like... your father," Harefoot said, his tail twitching as the little kit moved towards Sandfang's stomach. It's orange tabby fur was nothing like his father's, but like Sandfang's.
"Lionkit," Sandfang mumbled as she nudged her baby towards her stomach more.
"Lionkit," Harefoot agreed, his head resting on Sandfang's.
~
Above them two figures looked down on their grandchild.
"Love never dies," the tom's voice called out as he nuzzled his head against the dark gray she-cat's.
"Never," she murmured.
Last edited by chenka on Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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chenka
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Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:27 pm
chenka says... · Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:27 pm
I'll just add this here since I rather not make the above post ten times larger than it needs to be.
I know this is a long story, but I didn't think it needed to be split. I'm not entirely looking for reviews as I was just kind of bored so I made this. [shrugs]
Thanks to all who read this!

-Chenka
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Stori
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Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:53 pm
Stori says... · Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:53 pm
Sevenpaw is confused. You should start this off earlier.
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Sare Agama
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Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:47 pm
Sare Agama says... · Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:47 pm
Hey, nice job! Have you joined the Warriors group here? You can post your story there and get a couple of critiques from fellow Warrior lovers. *Like me*

Anyway, there were a couple of words that were missing. Like here, for instance:

She tried to stop the bleeding from Cindernose's neck, but it wouldn't.

Maybe you should try She tried to stop the bleeding from cindernose's neck, but she couldn't.

Here too:

[s]Her sobs were getting quieter and[/s] she laid down, her sobs turning into yowls of pain.
Get rid of that part; it just confuses everyone. :wink:

"MOTHER! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME!" Sandfang called out as her mother faded out into unconsciousness.

"Sangfang, what's wrong!?" he screamed at her.

it seems to me you have these a little confused. If you are going to use caps, you might not want to put 'called' after it. And, in the second part, you put 'screamed.'

The loud hissed of Harefoot raising over the yelps of the fox.

You need to either take of the 'ed,' or change it to 'ing.'


Overal, great story. Keep writing! Oh, and don't forget to check out that site.
Your monthly Bible quote: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are decietful." Proverbs 27:6
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Horserider
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Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:24 pm
Horserider says... · Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:24 pm
Very cute. You almost made me cry. I would've cried, but I have a sore throat and I don't want to make it worse. It was kind of confusing with all the skipping ahead. I had to wait for my mind to figure out what was happening every time otherwise a very good story.

Why didn't the two just run away? Maybe you could make a full length chaptered fanfic out of it and put it in more detail.
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