a sad reunion

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The birds sing in their harmony. The sun fills the first days of spring. Flowers bloom. The insects fill the silent skies from the cold winter. It is such a wonder.




And the funny thing is that it is simply an irony to a cruel reality.






They stare at each other’s eye. They did this numerous times in the past and all of it was met with joy or grief. However, this one was different. The stare bore no signs of joy or grief but only hatred and curiosity. What made this stare change is a long story.

They were similar once but this time they are so different. No longer was the time where their touch creates happiness. This time it will be their blood that will be made.

They stand apart from each other for more than a meter. They wore the same outfit, a long kimono that covered nearly all their body. Brother and Sister are now united for the first time since their separation. But instead of the enjoyment they are supposed to achieve at this moment, the only thing both want to accomplish is to see one of them dead.

The sister’s name is Maya. Maya is three inches taller and older by no more than four years. Her short blood red hair falls from her forehead nearly covering one of her eyes and ears. Her eyes, slanted and narrow like a fox, were red and the only expression that one can see on it is cold and sadistic.

It never used to be this way. She used to have beautiful black hair and brown eyes but that was the past. This is the present. Her fox-like face and her erect body gave an idea that this is a girl who had seen a lot of hard times through her life and is still living unlike the many who had died before her.
Kaoru is the younger brother. He still has the soft cheeks he acquired as a child. His eyes are full of curiosity and surprise.

His brown hair, that covers his forehead, and his large eyes are the only remnants of his childhood. His face bore the marks of someone trying to change something. His eyes move hastily in disbelief. His fists closed tightly against the weapon that it made him bleed. He cannot believe that the person before him is his long lost sister.

He speaks her name but she only replies with her head lowered. She drew out her weapon, a katana that carried the blood of her former victims. She is preparing.

He called her name again, this time louder.
“Maya! It’s me, your brother!!” he shouted louder and louder. But the only reply he heard from her is of the sword pointing towards him and the narrow stare of her merciless eye.

This is not his sister but it must be! It is his sister! No one else has the same eyes as his mother. He grips hard on the weapon, a long push knife, positioned on his fist. This cannot be the way to end this!

They were separated for five long years. He had tried to find her. He searches provinces, towns, houses. He had asked questions to people. He had even begged a passing merchant to find her. But it was all in vain. Now that he had found her, he is about to be killed by her own hands. This is not how it is supposed to end!! This cannot be his deathbed!

Maya, what happened to you? You cannot imagine what I had been through and now-

“Kaoru…” he heard her whisper and looked directly at her. Her eyes were now close and her red hair covered the top of her face. She lifted her sword aiming at his neck.
“I…” she continued as positioned it above her head. She stares sharply towards her brother. All those memories were a fraud. Her childhood was simply a fantasy. All of it was never real! Their relationship, their bond, everything was never real. And it was HIS entire fault!

“…I will never forgive you!!!” she shouted with all the hatred she has felt through her life as she threw the sword right to his neck.




Now the bloodbath has begun.
Last edited by foxfire on Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:58 am, edited 3 times in total.




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VERY interesting concept! I'm intrigued! Just a few little things to fix...

foxfire wrote:The birds sing in their harmony. The sun fills the first days of spring. Flowers bloom. The insects fill the silent skies from the cold winter. It is such a wonder.




And the funny thing is that it is simply an irony to a cruel reality (add a period)






They stare at each other’s eye(s). They did this numerous times in the past and all of it was met with joy or grief. However, this one was different. The stare bore no signs of joy or grief but only hatred and curiosity. What made this stare change is a long story.

They were similar once but this time they are so different. No longer was the time where their touch creates happiness. This time it will be their blood that will be made.

They stand apart from each other for more than a meter. They wore the same outfit, a long kimono that covered nearly all their body. Brother and Sister are now united for the first time since their separation. But instead of the enjoyment they are supposed to achieve at this moment, the only thing both want to accomplish is to see one of them dead.

The sister’s name is Maya while the brother’s name is Kaoru. Maya is the older one by about three to four years. (Keep it like this if you like, but I think it would sound better if you said: The sister's name is Maya. The brother's name is Kaoru. Maya is three inches taller and older by no more than four years. It sounds a little awkward how you have it now, but it's totally up to you, just a suggestion.) She is three inches taller than he is. Her short blood red hair falls from her forehead nearly covering one of her eyes and ears. Her eyes, slanted and narrow like a fox, were red and the only expression that one can see on it is cold and sadistic.

This was never the case. She used to have beautiful black hair and brown hair but that was the past. This is the present. Her fox-like face and her erect body gave an idea that this is a girl who had seen a lot of hard times through her life and is still living unlike the many who had died before her.
Kaoru is the younger brother. He still has the soft cheeks he acquired as a child. His eyes are full of curiosity and disbelief.

His brown hair, that covers his forehead, and his large eyes are the only remnants of his childhood. His face bore the marks of someone trying to change something. His eyes move hastily in disbelief. His fists closed tightly against the weapon that it made him bleed. He cannot believe that the person before him is his long lost sister. Nice description!

He speaks her name but she only replies with her head lowered. She drew out her weapon, a katana that carried the blood of her former victims. She is preparing.

He called her name again, this time louder.
“Maya! It’s me, your brother!!” he shouted louder and louder. But the only reply he heard from her is of the sword pointing towards him and the narrow stare of her merciless eye.

This is not his sister but it must be! It is his sister! No one else has the same eyes as his mother. He grips hard on the weapon, a long push knife, positioned on his fist. This cannot be the way to end this!

They were separated for five long years. He had tried to find her. He searches provinces, towns, houses. He had asked questions to people. He had even begged a passing merchant to find her. But it was all in vain. Now that he had found her, he is about to be killed by her own hands. This is not how it is supposed to end!! This cannot be his deathbed!

Maya, what happened to you? You cannot imagine what I had been through and now-

“Kaoru…” he heard her whisper and looked directly at her. Her eyes were now close and her red hair covered the top of her face. She lifted her sword aiming at his neck.
“I…” she continued as positioned it above her head. She stares sharply towards her brother. All those memories were a fraud. Her childhood was simply a fantasy. All of it was never real! Their relationship, their bond, everything was never real. And it was HIS entire fault!

“…I will never forgive you!!!” she shouted with all the hatred she has felt through her life as she threw the sword right to his neck.




Now the bloodbath has begun.


Wow! So interesting! I like it! Keep me updated on future installments!

-Shannon
"The manatee has become the mento." -Tracy Jordan

"Live every week like it's shark week." -Tracy Jordan
^30 Rock is love




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This was never the case

This just sounds odd, like your correcting yourself. Something like "It never used to be this way" would be better I think.

The brother’s name is Kaoru

Kaoru is the younger brother


You identify him twice. The second time
Kaoru is the younger brother. He still has the soft cheeks he acquired as a child. His eyes are full of curiosity and disbelief.
you could make that all one sentence "Kaoru, the younger brother, still has the soft cheeks he acquired as a child. His eyes are full of curiosity and disbelief."

His eyes move hastily in disbelief

You've already used disbelief in the previous paragraph, consider maybe using a synonym.

Hope you find this helpful!



I hope I’ve never been quoted, tbh
— paigey