City Nights

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I am the Master!
Magician!
The Punch and Judy Man!
Watch me twist miracles from sultry summer nights,
find buried treasure in grey graffitied walls.
Let me guide you to the rooftops of the city
where we will lie together, naming stars
and get drunk of the heady scent of dreams.

Trust to me these few hours of the night and
I will teach you how to hear the ghostly music
in the catacombs of parking towers filled with yellow light.
Allow me to point out the constellations fixed in neon signs
or the good company which may be found beneath the bridges.

We can dance as well as any in the limelight of the streetlamps.
attended by the fluttering moths and serenaded by the music
that stagger from the bars.
I can take you to the garden where the fairy lights are strung,
where swan boats glide on fountains and Sophisticated People sip martinis and french kiss.
We'll hide like elves behind the bushes
laugh at them and learn their secrets
perhaps we'll kiss each other in the lemon-scented night.

Close your eyes and I will pull you rabbits from silk top-hats,
take my hand I'll make us disappear or maybe fly.
Breathe in, breathe out and trust me for a moment,
for the word's alight with wonder and you must not be afraid.
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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Its really cool, but i dont really understand it. i think you worded it really well and you have lots of great imagery, but the poem itself doesnt make alot of sense. did it make sense to you, or did you just write it for the heck of it? thats ok. alot of my own poems dont really make sense to me.

its still a cool poem though. it flows really nicely and it has a lively feel to it. i dont think the title really fits; i would suggest "The Punch and Judy Man," or something like that. The title you have is fine though.
"I myself am composed entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."- Augusten Burroughs




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Thats funny. I like how its got big words..

where swan boats glide on fountains and Sophisticated People sip martinis and french kiss.
We'll hide like elves behind the bushes
laugh at them and learn their secrets

Thats my favorite part.
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Thanks guys!
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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Points 10087
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Superb. Magic. I LOVE this poem. The images are truly echoes of the poetic Sublime and your rhythm is perfect. I'm gushing, but hey, aint it great to be appreciated? :D I honestly think this is the best poem I've read in months. Cheers, BlackDaisy!
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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Wow! You're so nice! Thanks so much!
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 685
The lines were a bit long for my taste, but there are some really nice ideas, and great images. The tone was just lovely.
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