the cherry bloom rememberance

The cherry bloom remembrance
Out on the frigid horizon white, stands the cherry blossom tree
A pink sunrise, that never fails to pledge undying love to the heavens

And like its undying love its roots reach down to where the rivers of time freeze over.

When glaciers break the tree dances, when blizzards blow the tree sings
When night falls it is a maiden to the moon
as its petals waltz with the stars

Being so brave, winter embraces it

Never should a thing so beautiful
be so powerful
as to defy the permafrost destiny.

the sakura

So divine that the snowflakes do not loiter on its limbs
Yet so mundane that the humble dove may find a perch.

It is born Sacred yet Freely given
It is the embodiment of a true gift
It is those three words
Immortal and from the depths of my heart

I Love you

Nicely done. Only thing I can say is that maybe you should consider your spacing between paragraphs, because it comes across very abrupt when it's being read.

With that said, otherwise this is a good read. Nothing really seems to stick out in a bad way, and it doesn't seem to get hung up on notions. So it's a decent poem, in my book. Not bad.

Krupp wrote:Nicely done. Only thing I can say is that maybe you should consider your spacing between paragraphs, because it comes across very abrupt when it's being read.

With that said, otherwise this is a good read. Nothing really seems to stick out in a bad way, and it doesn't seem to get hung up on notions. So it's a decent poem, in my book. Not bad.

thank you. this was an actual love poem I gave to my girlfriend for christmas.