Their souls took flight

Pretending to care,
not one bit.
You brought a scare,
a fright you git.
One person stares,
while the other glares.
In one thought, a guess.
She lifted a gun,
tried to shoot and run.
Their souls took flight on that dark, dreadful night...

I admit that I'm not exactly sure what this poem is describing, though it is intriguing. I just want to check, is git the right word in the fourth line?

Even though I'm not sure exactly what they mean, I like the last four sentences quite a bit. Its a very catchy line.

So, interesting poem, but I'm not clear what its about.

Hehe, tx
but tbh idk either
I just wrote it one afternoon while I was lying on my bed and falling asleep..
So Idk really know what's going on either, I just make it up as I go along.
Tnx for commenting

So...
I'm very confused to be honest
The last lines go together but the rest was kind of out there
If you could tie it all in somehow and make it flow a bit better, it might be easier to understand

Hi, It is a cool poem, but sadly you have failed as a poet. You shouldn't have to explain to us what you are talking about, and that is why you fail. try being a bit more clear.Also,why post it on the Young Writers Society poetry forum,if you don't know what is about. I also suggest that you post in the welcome forum first, as it is where you introduce yourself before you start to post. People over there are helpful,and tell you things that you might need to know, such as having a 2:1 ratio for your work. Basically you have to review 2 pieces of work before you post your own. Everyone does it, and it just helps to make sure that everyone gets their work reviewed. Also,you shouldn't use chat speak. It's just common courtesy. If you have something to say, then take the time to say it properly. So, I hope you enjoy the site!

Um, first of all: chatspeak alert! Oh noez! That's one of the most annoying things ever, particularly because I can't understand one word of it. I know, I'm such a geek and I actually spend hours typing out the whole words, but still....
Anyways, your poem! Um... Trying not to be to horrendously harsh here and to not sound like a prissy know-it-all bitch, but.... I really did not like this. It makes no sense. I mean, "git" isn't a word. Changing the word just to make the poem rhyme is a bad idea. Either find a word that does rhyme, change from natural rhyme to slant rhyme, or just don't rhyme at all. Not all poetry rhymes, and unless it adds something aesthetically pleasing to the poem, it should not be used at all (and you're poem does not, so just nix the rhyme).
Stares and glares have essentially the same conotation. Don't add unneeded words just to make it rhyme.
Another comment about the rhyme scheme: it's really inconsistent. It goes from every other line, to every line, to not rhyming at all, to rhyming in the same line. Stay consistent, for Christ's sake.
Anyway, I don't understand what this is about at all. It doesn't appeal to me emotionally, aesthetically, or even as entertainment. I don't gain anything from reading this.
And if you yourself don't know what it's about, that's a problem.

Okay, I get the stuff about chat speak. But bloody hell make sure of your facts before you make accusations. "Git" Is a word. I looked it up. "Git (pronoun), the second-person, dual, personal pronoun (subject case) in Old English"
People have other ways of looking at things so I understand you want to try and help. But don't start something if you're not sure. And if you think you're right, you might get a shock.
I'm in 10th grade right now. I study poetry. And making up words and just writing stuff are allowed. Don't be so narrow minded. You can write anything you want, feel or anything else you want. It doesn't have to make sense or anything, you write what you want and what you feel at that time.
And if you don't believe me, I have a book I can quote out of.
And I really don't feel like searching through the book to prove I'm right.
Get your facts straight little girl. I'm smarter than you think.

At the time, when I wrote the poem, I admit, I didn't know what it was about until it came true.
After I wrote it, me and my boyfriend started fighting and he told me he liked another girl. That's happened twice now, with him and my new boyfriend, although we split up too. But hey you can hate it all you want. If you want me to explain more I will.

Now do me a little favor:
* Stop being narrow minded
* Don't accuse if you don't have the facts to prove your point
* Don't take on an older person 'cos they might surprise you
Notes:
* Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, I know
* Poetry doesn't have to make sense
* Poetry doesn't have to be what you think it is
* Poetry doesn't always need punctuation
* A quote from my book. " Poetry - Writing musings on life, your moods, your dreams - all in poetry. Some days you might feel like rhyming, some days you might feel like being crazily free form ( which is what I mostly do) some days you might feel like writing almost like you were talking. Or describing a series of images...." That was just something out of a creative book I bought to keep me busy. The rest of the info are in my school books...
If you still think what you think then go on in life your way.
I honestly don't care.

Wow!
First of all: Please (with sugar on top and all of that) don't breathe fire down the neck of your reviewers (it makes us far less likely to review because we'll (or at least me) be afraid that our opinions will end up getting us yelled at and being called narrow minded).
They may have looked 'git' up in one of their dictionaries (the books) and it may not have been in there (some of the older dictionaries [the ones around my house] may be old and unupdated). Besides, how am I supposed to know British slang when I don't live where it's used? (in the dictionary I looked it up on, it was a noun, and british slang). Yes, I know that poetry can be any way the author wants it to be, but we're merely trying to suggest ways to make your poetry better.

Now that I'm done ranting and raving about being nice, and us all having our own opinions: Let us continue on to the acutal review...

Li'l EMO wrote:Pretending to care,
a fright you git.
One person stares,
while the other glares.
In one thought, a guess.
She lifted a gun,
tried to shoot and run.
Their souls took flight on that dark, dreadful night...

Ok, so with the rhyming... First your rhyme scheme was ABAB and then you changed it. This could genreally be ok, because when something else is happening in the poem, a new even or whatever, you can change the rhyme scheme to draw attention. But, then you get rid of the rhyming at the end. I would suggest either getting the ending to rhyme with one of your two rhyme schemes or to just throw it out the window alltogether.

Overal:
I liked it. Its hard to understand what's really happening, but its kinda cool because I can imagine a lot of things going on. I think the main thing you have to worry about it rhyme scheme.
~MidnightVampire
P.S. Since I was ranting in the beginning I forgot to introduce myself. I'm MidnightVampire, welcome to YWS! You can call me various things (MV, Vamp, whatever). Oh, and thanks for stopping the chat speak! It takes me a really, insanly long time to figure out what people are saying.

Thnx...
And I'm having an extremely bad week thx to my mom...
And yeah chat speak, since summer holiday is over I have to get used to talking normal again.. I stopped writing during the holidays since the tragedies stopped for a while... Maybe 'cos I was never home. But I started writing now and the tragedies came back. And in one way or a another my poetry somehow, depends on how you look at it, comes true or already happened.
I'm not so good with rhyming and all that jazz so sorry about that.
I wrote this last year when i started out with writing. The easiest way for me to rant about my feelings without anyone really understanding what's going on...
And yeah, I kinda like to fight and all that...
But being narrow minded and all that crap really annoys me...
My mum is narrow minded and judgmental and that annoys me even more cos she's driving away the only real friends I've had since 2003...
I apologize for everything said...
But some of it I did mean...