(Lights up on stage. In front of the closed curtain, two tables, four chairs each, are set across the stage with a blank chalkboard behind them. A portable cupboard sits on SR, the shelves and top alike filled with Bibles and Book of Mormons. BROTHER SANCHEZ and HIRAM enter from the “door,” SR. Sanchez is dressed in a white shirt and tie, a bag and scriptures under his arm. He’s tired, but doing a good job hiding it. Hiram follows behind him, shirt and jeans, not bothering to hide how dead tired he is. As the following lines are spoken, Sanchez is quickly unpacking the bag, pulling out markers and blank sheets of white paper. Hiram grabs a Bible from the cupboard, sits down at the closest seat, and slumps sleepily.)
SANCHEZ: How many do you think will come, first day?
HIRAM: (grunts)
SANCHEZ: Yes, yes, it was hard to get up this morning…should we start a little late, give people a chance to come in?
HIRAM: (grunts)
SANCHEZ: Oh, come on, it’s not that early. You don’t have to act like a zombie.
HIRAM: (glancing pointedly at his watch) Six-oh-three AM.
SANCHEZ: Okay.
HIRAM: Not PM. AM. As in, the morning.
SANCHEZ: Alright!
HIRAM: The sun isn’t even up, yet.
SANCHEZ: I know, I get it. It was a dumb comment.
(SARIAH and ZION enter, tired but happy and giggling. As they talk, they each grab a Bible from the cupboard and sit next to each other. )
ZION: [he’s cute, quiet, has an adorable smile,] and I hear he’s in my history class!
SARIAH: Nuh-uh! Shut up!
ZION: Yeah! I know! I’m soooo stoked for sophomore year!
SANCHEZ: Morning, girls!
SARIAH: (unison) Morning, Brother Sanchez!
ZION: (unison) Morning, Brother Sanchez!
SARIAH: (pauses shyly for a moment, then ventures bravely,) H-hello, Hiram.
HIRAM: Morning.
(The girls sit down at the empty table, far away from Hiram.)
ZION: (whispering) Is this going to be the year, then?
SARIAH: (also whispering) huh?
ZION: Oh, come on. It’s not like it’s totally obvious, but I can tell.
(JARED enters and collects a Bible from the cupboard)
SARIAH: You won’t tell anyone, will you?
ZION: Of course not!
SANCHEZ: Morning, Jared!
ZION: I’ve known for, like, ever, Sariah. If I wanted to blab to the whole world about it, I would’ve totally blabbed by now.
JARED: Hey, Brother Sanchez!
SARIAH: Thanks, Zion.
HIRAM: Yo, Jared! How’s it been?
JARED: (sitting next to Hiram) Hey, man! It’s been good! You?
HIRAM: Tired.
JARED: Well, duh, so am I.
ZION: (to Sariah) Is it going to be the year, then?
SARIAH: I…don’t know…I’ve said it’s going to be the year every year since seventh grade…
what will make this any different?
(EMMA and JOSEPH enter and collect their Bibles.)
ZION: Determination and the Backwards Dance! That’s what’s going to be different!
SANCHEZ: Good morning, Emma, Joseph!
EMMA: (unison) Morning, Brother Sanchez!
JOSEPH: (unison) Morning, Brother Sanchez!
(When he hears Emma speak, Joseph stops and glances at her awkwardly, then goes to his seat. Emma goes over to Sariah and Zion but doesn’t sit down.)
SARIAH: You can’t be serious!
ZION: Oh, I’m serious, Sariah!
SARIAH: There’s no way I’m going to ask him out to the Backwards Dance!
EMMA: Who?
(Sudden silence as Zion and Sariah realize that Emma was listening)
SARIAH: Nobody. Just…just some guy…
ZION: In her history class.
SARIAH: Yeah, that’s it! In my history class.
EMMA: Ah. Those history boys are cute, right?
SARIAH: Yes!
(Emma goes to her seat at Hiram’s table. LOGAN enters, wide awake.)
SANCHEZ: Good morning, Logan!
EMMA: (unison) Logan!
JARED: (unison) Logan!
HIRAM: (unison) Logan!
LOGAN: Hey, guys! What’s happening?
JARED: Nothing much, man! You?
LOGAN: Eh. Not all that excited for school.
HIRAM: Agreed!
SANCHEZ: Alright, guys, it’s a bit past six twenty. We’d best get started.
LOGAN: Hey, where’s Connor? Is Connor coming?
EMMA: She said she was…usually she’ll text me if she gets sick or something.
LOGAN: Hm.
SANCHEZ: Sariah, could you give the opening prayer, please?
SARIAH: Sure…(Sariah stands up and folds her arms. Everyone folds their arms and closes their eyes.) Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, we’re thankful that we could be here in seminary today. Please bless those who are not with us to—
(CONNOR bursts through the door loudly and trips over the threshold, slamming into the cupboard. Bibles and Book of Mormons spill onto the ground. Everyone looks up.)
CONNOR: Sorry…sorry…
(Connor starts to bend over to pick up the books, then thinks better of it and straightens, folding her arms and closing her eyes. After a moments hesitation, Sariah continues the prayer.)
SARIAH: Please bless those who are not with us today that they may feel the Spirit and be able to come tomorrow. Please bless us to listen to the lesson that Brother Sanchez has prepared and to remember it throughout our daily lives. And…we say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
ALL: Amen.
(Connor bends down to pick up the books. Logan gets up and goes over to help her.)
SANCHEZ: Everyone excited for the first day of seminary?
(everyone groans. Emma gives a half-hearted, unenthusiastic whoop.)
SANCHEZ: That’s the spirit! Well, today we won’t be doing much, anyway. You guys had so much fun making your own scripture mastery cards, I thought I’d let you do it again. Hiram, could you get the markers, please?
(Hiram gets up and gets the two bags of markers and puts one on each table. Brother Sanchez turns and starts to write the New Testament scripture mastery on the board in order; Matthew 5, etc. Connor and Logan put the last book in the cupboard.)
CONNOR: Thanks, Logan.
LOGAN: No worries.
CONNOR: That was unbelievably embarrassing.
LOGAN: Hey, no one cares if you come in late. We’ve all done it.
CONNOR: I don’t care about coming in late, that’s not what I’m talking about.
LOGAN: Except Hiram, maybe. Kind of hard to be late when your dad’s the seminary teacher.
CONNOR: Logan!
LOGAN: Alright, alright. Really, though, Connor, nobody cares. It’s six o’clock in the morning; you could absolutely deny it and everyone will think it was a dream.
CONNOR: Convince everyone that they had the same dream. Yeah, that’s easy.
LOGAN: You’d be surprised.
(They both go to their seats.)
SARIAH: Smooth entrance, Connor
.
CONNOR: Says the girl who blessed “those who are not with us” when everyone is here.
ZION: (quickly changing the subject) Are you going to the stake dance on Saturday, Connor?
CONNOR: I don’t know yet.
SARIAH: I’m going. It should be fun.
CONNOR: You are? Um, sorry, can’t come. I…I have a family thing.
ZION: Oh. I’m sorry. Maybe the next dance, yeah?
CONNOR: Maybe.
SANCHEZ: Hat off, Connor. We’re in the church.
CONNOR: Oh! Sorry! I forgot! (quickly takes off her hat)
SANCHEZ: Alright, these are the scriptures we’ll be memorizing this year. I’ll be around with the papers, and you can make your own scripture mastery cards. Oh, and you can sit wherever you want.
(There is a few seconds of chaos as the students unintentionally segregate themselves. All the girls are at Hiram’s table and all the boys are at Sariah’s and Zion’s table. Connor tries to get to the boy table, but all the seats are filled, and she reluctantly takes her seat at the girl table, as close to the boys as possible. She is the last one to sit down. Brother Sanchez comes around and passes out papers. The students start looking up the scriptures in their Bibles.)
EMMA: That was a grand entrance, Connor.
CONNOR: (good-naturedly) Har har. Is there a pencil in this bag?
EMMA: Nope. Just pens and markers.
CONNOR: Dang. My drawing’s going to suck, then.
HIRAM: So what are the plans for Six Flags, guys?
LOGAN: Wait, we’re going? I thought they called that off!
HIRAM: No, of course not! Six Flags is totally on!
JARED: I thought Six Flags was out, too…you sure it’s not called off?
HIRAM: Positive. Bishop Smith was talking about it yesterday at Church.
LOGAN: Hm. Must’ve just been my ward, then.
HIRAM: Your ward? It’s a stake activity! They can’t take out a whole ward!
LOGAN: A whole ward? Hiram, there are only two young men in our ward, remember?
JOSEPH: (reading from his Bible) “And other sheep have I that are not of this fold…” other sheep, huh? Other sheep…(picks out a marker and starts to draw) This will be great!
EMMA: (to the girls) Hey, are you guys coming to my sleep-over Friday night?
CONNOR: Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss it for the world!
SARIAH: Oh…um…I can’t go.
EMMA: Why not?
SARIAH: I…have a family thing.
CONNOR: Oh, I see.
SARIAH: Sure hope you do.
EMMA: How about you, Zion?
ZION: Heck, yes, I’m coming! It’s going to be sooo much fun!
EMMA: Awesome! What movie should we rent?
ZION: The old, clean version of “Shall we Dance!”
SARIAH: The old black and white “Romeo and Juliet!”
EMMA: Or “The Lake House!”
CONNOR: “James Bond, 003!”
(There is a moment of silence. Connor puts her head down)
CONNOR: Uh, I mean…Revelations 20 sounds fun to draw…
LOGAN: Oh, my gosh. What is with that poor sheep, Joseph?
JOSEPH: You like it?
LOGAN: Um…I don’t know…
JARED: Oh, I get it. Origami sheep. Not of this “fold.” (chuckles)
JOSEPH: Haha, yeah.
LOGAN: That’s not just some origami sheep, though. I mean, what the heck’s with his flipping eyes? They’re, like, the size of my thumb!
HIRAM: Green fur? And…is that a pink tail? Or is it…
JARED: Please tell me it’s a pink tail.
JOSEPH: (laughs) Yup, it’s a pink tail, have no fear.
LOGAN: Um, what’s with the expression on his face? It looks like he’s a surprised alien or something…
JOSEPH: Of course! It’s the “other” sheep!
HIRAM: (laughing) That’s awesome!
LOGAN: Um…ha…yeah, that’s…
JARED: Weird. In a good way.
JOSEPH: Heck, yes!
SARIAH: Oh my gosh, Zion! That’s so good!
ZION: Really? I don’t know…I messed up on Jesus’ robe, there…
EMMA: That’s flipping amazing, Zion! It looks just like the pages of the scriptures! Just like, cross-references and everything!
CONNOR: I love how the Bible’s so much bigger than Jesus himself!
SARIAH: It’s better than your Jesus! What’s in His hand, a gavel or a watermelon?
CONNOR: …I meant it in a good way. It’s not a bad thing, to draw the scriptures bigger than Christ. I mean, it would look weird with him holding it if it was actual size, especially how He’s holding it in that picture.
SARIAH: Then don’t sound so stuck-up.
CONNOR: I wasn’t!
ZION: (quickly) I like your drawing, Connor. Very cool. Is that a “Judge Jesus” nametag?
CONNOR: You can actually read it?
ZION: Yes! Very cool, very cool.
CONNOR: Aw…thanks, Zion.
SARAIH: Big deal. Jared’s picture has the nametag, too.
EMMA: (taking it at face value) It does?! (stands up and calls over at Jared) Hey, Jared! Where do you get taking off ideas from Connor?
JARED: What?!
CONNOR: (also standing) Yeah, man! Back off of my scripture!
JARED: (Standing) Oh, Your scripture? Your scripture?
CONNOR: (trying not to laugh) Yeah, my scripture! Revelations twenty was so totally mine! Why’d you try to steal it?
JARED: Oh, no, you don’t! Don’t even try to steal my scripture, don’t even!
CONNOR: Huh? Is that a challenge? Do you want to fight?
JARED: Oh, I’d take you on, little girl!
SANCHEZ: Children, children! Remember what we learned last year in Leviticus 19:18? Thou shalt not, thou shalt not!
(everyone laughs and those who were standing sit back down.)
JARED: Still can’t believe she tried to steal my scripture.
CONNOR: Don’t even. It was my scripture first, so suck it up, you big baby.
HIRAM: Hey, hey! Love thy neighbor! Leviticus, people, Leviticus!
(More laughter.)
SANCHEZ: Okay, it’s about time to go. Pass up the papers; we’ll have to finish them tomorrow. Hiram, could you please give us a closing prayer?
(Hiram stands up, and everyone folds their arms and closes their eyes. Lights off.)
(Very Mormon girl names are hard to find, and I feel like Zion's pushing it...any suggestions? *pleading look*)
