Return to me.

Wishing you were here,
to fill me up with joy.

Hoping you will come,
when all is said and done.

Why must you be so far away?
where stars and sky is all we share.

I forgave you when you left,
because you promised you'd come back.

But now with years gone by,
my skin has wrinkled and my hope has failed.

Where have you gone my love?
I can no longer feel your far away kisses.

Come back to my embrace and make my heart beat once more.

Okay, first of all, great poem! Such a sad ending. =[

You started rhyming in the second stanza. Then the rest of your poem was free form. That was really kind of confusing. I think you should use a different word to make it free form again.

Wishing you were here,
to fill me up with joy.

No comma.

where stars and sky is all we share.

I think that it should be are instead of is.

Where have you gone my love?
I can no longer feel your far away kisses.

comma before my love. This is also a great stanza. So sad! =[

Other than those things, I liked this poem. Great job!

Becca

Hullo. ^^

Why must you be so far away?
where stars and sky is all we share.

Sort this out: get rid of that question mark and replace the full stop with one.

I liked the stanzas and how they were spread out, with a short point and then some more depth. My biggest issue with this, on the other hand, is that if flows as a simple love poem. I would personally like to see how this other person had significance in the narrator's life with some imagery, or at least comparisons to bring out character and opinions. There seems to be nothing more for this, since it's all so obvious and practically handed to the reader on a plate. I found it confusing at points, in which something cliché is stuck in and I can't work out why, nor what it means.

Hoping you will come,
when all is said and done.

As an example. The first couple of stanzas read like greeting wish on a Christmas card, whereas the rest are more questions, and the bare simplicity actually provides little interest, since I can't offer my own interpretation. I believe you should play with the senses and use things like feeling cold, or that it's so bland alone. It's like with prose, but less so, I suppose; show us with emotions, as opposed to just listing them. Actions are affected by what we think, remember.

Can you also add in a story? In poems, it's never just emotions, but rather drawn around a situation. This person's far away, but why? Are they fighting in a war? On holiday? A dire circumstance, as with prose, will make it more realistic and get readers to care, something fundamental even with poetry, in my opinion.

Best of luck, feel free to PM me with an questions,
Mark

I am a pretty blunt person....so if I say anything in my critique that seems abrupt or harsh, it's just my literal sense of humor playing through...I really just want to warn you...let the show begin!
Crit one: In the first couplet, I find the inclusion of the word 'up' to be possibly excessive, just sort of extra. Adverbs are great if used properly, but that one just doesn't seem...I don't know. It's kind of awkward.
crit two: okay. You're using incomplete sentences with periods. In poetry, using artistic liscense, you can do incomplete sentences. But I would not recommend, under any circumstances, in poetry, using two in a row. In a story, it might be pardoned in the name of building suspense, but this is totally different....
crit three: third couplet, the 'is' between the 'stars' and 'sky' should be are. Not is, but are, got it? You wouldn't say the stars is... so why would you say the stars and sky is?....
crit four: I really love the imagery in that phrase about the stars...so romantic!
crit five: I like the poetic phrasing of this couplet...very heart-wrenching. Failed hope. or vain hope.... Sorry, I just like playing with words...
crit six: I missed it, but the 'you'd come back' could be simply put as something like (and more eloquently) as: you'd return.
crit seven: In my opinion, the part about far away kisses goes from tear-drop romantic to being corny. too sad-soby=corny. You really could do something more powerful with that line...an idea for that: "I can no longer feel the heat of your warm soul"...or something like that....
crit eight: The come back thing again... just say 'return.' It's simpler and more sophisticated which is almost always the way to go.
Keep writing!
Cheers!
--Vox