It's Cold Here

Just the way I'm feeling right now..enjoy

Wondering if you’re thinking of me
As much as I thought of you
Wasting time with those same
Dried out thoughts that
Make you dizzy
every time
You stop and rewind
To when we were alone

Or maybe you’re out
With some foreign girl
Having the best time
Under hot sun

I’m not sure I’ll ever completely stop
Thinking about you.
So are you thinking about me?

Thats really good. I like its wistfullness, if thats a word. It reminds me of phantom of the opera.

I don't think it's memorable. Definitely easy to relate to, but you need to make it yours.

I agree with Liz that nothing really stands out as unique to you, as the writer or as the speaker.
It is, however, easy to relate to.
I like the image of "dried out thought".

A few technical compaints:

"....As much as I thought of you
Wasting time with those same
Dried out thoughts that
Make you dizzy "

Is that second "you" a universal, or referencing the person you are speaking to? It's awkward phrasing that make me have to wonder about the context.

"So are you thinking about me?"

I think a comma or elipsis points should follow the "So". Without a visual and verbal break, the sounds of this line run together.

This is a good start.

Hmmm...don't know what to think of this, it didn't seem very unique, but it was a good poem.

It's very simple. You can't read in too deeply, but well... whatever. It's simple.

OMG, WHAT IF MATT IS SIMPLE? How does she make it her?

Thanks for your comments. I guess it was meant to be simple...but don't worry, I'm not

True, it's like a lot of other poems, but I still liked it alot. I actually liked the simplicity of it, guess that makes me a simpleton

I could really relate to it, not for a relationship but just for friendships I've had. I really liked the lines liked these lines:

"wasting time with those same
dried out thoughts that make
make you dizzy."

I think you captured the the way it feels to have somone stop talking to you perfectly...