OH Finland

Finland

Oh Finland…
Your soil is where I stand
Oh Finland…
The wonderful place where you can hold the magical, white snow with your bare hand
Oh Finland…
The land with ancient history
Oh Finland…
The deep hallows in your mighty forests will always stay a mystery

I can’t wait to come back to you
I can’t wait to enter the beautiful city Helsinki
I can’t wait to walk on the soil of Turku where the medieval life still wonders
The place where when it snows the whole country with songs and happiness thunders
The place where once mighty Vikings ruled
The place where the glorious Swedish and the undefeatable Russians army's crueld

Oh Finland …
I want to once again to stand and feel huge white cathedral of Helsinki
Oh Finland…
I want to once again walk in the beautiful woods of Vantaa
Oh Finland …
Your soil is where I stand
Oh Finland…
The wonderful place where you can hold the magical, white snow with your bare hand


The land with the mighty seas and rivers
The land with powerful winds that gives us shivers
The land with multi numbers of islands
The land with great and tall highlands

Oh Finland
The land where Christmas lives and grows
Oh Finland
The land where the powerful water flows
Oh Finland
The place with undesirable romance and nature
Oh Finland
The place with folks that are free and have a great stature

Oh Finland….
Soon I will come to you

OKay, first I think that your flow was a little bit off. Some parts it was great, the other I was like, oh.

Ow? Did you mean oh? Just wondering...

I think that compared to your other poems, it needs some work. Some parts I though you made it into a song, and it threw me off. I mean, It could just be me...

Okay, so now that that's done, I liked the second stanza. Very cool.

Anyways, good job, just not as good as you could do!

I don't know the difference betwenn Ow and OH. Can any body tell me?

OW mean OUCH! like if you hurt yourself...you might say it

and OH is probably what you meant to say in your poem unless Finland was hurting you. lol

but by the way, great poem!! loved the fourth stanza!!

but on the fifth stanza, ...um does water really blow in Finland??
you see, in the fourth, you wrote about the wind blowing, and then in the next para. you said the water blew.....

and also, in the third stanza (i know, i know, im getting out of order ) you made it look as though it was a song when you repeated the first stanza at the end but wrote something different in the beginning. perhaps you could exchange 6th and 8th lines for something thats not already in the poem?
just a thought. lol

but i loved the way you made the Finland sound magical, almost making the reader (me, at least) wish they could come with you.
i really liked it!!

Lovely. Absolutely lovely. It made me patriotic for Finland... Which isn't patriotism but I guess the emotions were just brimming in your poem that I sunk into it's waves. I love how you describe. Your words bring to mind such vivid pictures. Anyway, lovely.

Oh, lordgluzman! Guess where I'm from?

The place where when is snows the whole country with songs and happiness thunders

Where when is? What does that mean?

The place where once mighty Vikings ruled

Did they? Boy, do I feel stupid now. Are you sure?

The place where the glorious Swedish and the undefeatable Russians army's curled

Glad you brought that up

The land where the powerful water blows

Uh, can water blow? Methinks you just tried to make it rhyme, but it doesn't make sense.


Hahaha. If I didn't already live in Finland, I would definitely want to move there now. It was so fun to read this! I was almost hoping to catch some common mistaken thoughts about Finland, but there wasn't any.

You made me feel really happy, thanks for that!


Demeter
xxx

I thought the Vikings did rule Finland for a while. Didn't they?

Hi, lordgluman!

I'm not Finnish, but your poem is still pretty good.

Onto the review:

Check your meter. It's a bit off at times if not non-existent.

glorious Swedish and the undefeatable Russians army's crueld

Crueld? Is that Finnish for something? It's not a word...

The land where Christmas lives and flows

This line makes your poem sound like a song in a Disney movie. One where Josh Groban would sing constantly. Ech.

Oh yeah... that's the Polar Express... hmm, I didn't mean to allude to that... anyway...

The land where the powerful water blows

Water blows? It blows? Really?

The place with folks that are free and have a great stature

The word folks bothers me. Oh well.

Nice job!

-Sakura

Sakura, you stole my favorite phrase oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain. Finalnd was never ruled by vikings. Well onto the main things; I think the whole first stanza felt awkward, or atleast it did to me.

The place where when is snows the whole country with songs and happiness thunders

I think you should write it, instead of is.

Oh well, good work fellow I think it wasn't great but it wasn't certainly bad either. One thing I do have to note is that there is not much snow in finland anymore ... oh well.

-Regards, the crazy person from 7C

Yesterday was alote of snow man. I and Lord Anzius had a snow ball fight! But dude I don't now if you remeber or know the teacher "Hilkka Ow'Doad". She told us that Vikings were in Finland.

So I'm getting the feeling English isn't your first language. If so, WOW. I could never even consider writing in another language from the one I speak in. So great job on that!

lordgluzmSan wrote:Finland

Oh Finland…
Your soil is where I stand
Oh Finland…
The wonderful place where you can hold the magical, white snow with your bare hand
Oh Finland…
The land with ancient history
Oh Finland…
The deep hallows in your mighty forests will always stay a mystery
This was good, but the flow was a bit off.

I can’t wait to come back to you
I can’t wait to enter the beautiful city Helsinki
I can’t wait to walk on the soil of Turku where the medieval life still wonders
The place where when it snows the whole country with songs and happiness thunders
The place where once mighty Vikings ruled
The place where the glorious Swedish and the undefeatable Russians army's crueld
I think you might mean still wanders. Maybe not. The rhyme on the fourth line seems forced. And I
don't really think crueld is a word.

Oh Finland …
I want to once again to stand and feel huge white cathedral of Helsinki
Oh Finland…
I want to once again walk in the beautiful woods of Vantaa
Oh Finland …
Your soil is where I stand
Oh Finland…
The wonderful place where you can hold the magical, white snow with your bare hand
If you want to maintain rhyme scheme, your first two lines need to rhyme.

The land with the mighty seas and rivers
The land with powerful winds that gives us shivers
The land with multi numbers of islands
The land with great and tall highlands

Oh Finland
The land where Christmas lives and grows
Oh Finland
The land where the powerful water flows
Oh Finland
The place with undesirable romance and nature
Oh Finland
The place with folks that are free and have a great stature
The rhyme is forced on the last line, and why are romance and nature undesirable? Maybe you ought to explain that somewhere in the poem.

Oh Finland….
Soon I will come to you