Somehow, these seemed to improve with each piece, which is obviously to the good. But it makes me seem shoddy! Leaves me with so little to say. Having said that, Nate was harping on about being quicker and more succinct with reviews.
‘I was only gone for two minutes and started snorting drugs?’
and you started snorting drugs?
And she left, [s]and then she was gone[/s]
Redundant. Just keep the first, short and powerful, 'And she left.'
Great line, good ending, very well executed short story. I very much enjoyed it.
Thanks for helping me along and reviewing every single piece I posted. You're great. ^_^ Remind me to review a bunch of your stuff in return. =)
Also, I find it a little worrying that I apparently become a better writer the more tired I get/the higher I get off of excessive sugar and caffeine. But I should probably sleep now. I'm quivering a little, and I'm struggling to even type this message.
I just read through the previous parts, and I agree to take out most, if not all, of the first part. Like you said, I don't see how it really plays into the plotline that much other than the title, lol. Maybe you could keep it, and just rephrase a bunch of sentences.
Anyways, there isn't much to critique on this one. The only thing that bothered me where your quotes. At first you used double quotes and then you gradually switched over to using single quotes. It's probably just me though; the quotes and apostrophes were running together
Great job, and I hope your instructor will like it as well.
