Nope I've never done this before. But I'm starting a new one too. It will be somewhat "normal". So look otu for that one too m'lady.
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
-Been a while since I entered something new. Enjoy -
In Limbo the people greatly resemble Lemmings.
Oh how I long to once again stumble drunk like a loose shopping cart wheels, spinning on axis' that would make a planet cringe as I teetered almost over.
Here in Limbo we are all the same. Shuffling and falling. Climbing and shuffling. Falling and sinking. Swimming and walking.
There are only a few of us on the ocean floor. I was washed out with the tide one night. I was too passive to stop myself.
I shrugged off my inner dialogue.
There was ground to cover.
In Limbo we are all meaningless. Unless you can find meaning in our pointless existance. Unless we fail to exist whatsoever. That's probobly how it is.
My speculations are poorly grounded and have no intellectual merit.
I need to get out of here. I'm not supposed to feel anything, yet I feel awkwardly like I do not belong. Even amongst the monotonous drone of Limbo, I shine and shuffle with border-line grace.
"I need to get out of here."
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
I sat down on a log. The Grim Reaper was beside me. He had to be. This is because I willed him to be there.
I explained to "him" that I wanted to try my other option, because I had a feeling."
"A feeling?"
"You don't know what that is eh?"
"Actually, I am sure I know plenty more than you about it. I'm just not familiar with that word."
"Well you feel pain. And you feel happy. And you feel sick. You feel tired. You feel guilty. You feel angry. You get it?"
"Ah, that has a lot to do with stuff sloshing around in glands. Not much time for it, myself."
"In Limbo I wasnt supposed to feel anything, but I felt like I didn't belong there."
"And you want to give hell a go?"
"It cant be much worse than that place."
"We'll see."
The tall black figure beside me stood up. After snapping his bony fingers, the world dropped away and there was a sound like water draining out of a sink. Or a wet fart.
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
- another long wait for this update, im sorry, I'm going to hop back on the regular train with these stories of mine. If a couple care to read em that is.....--
Hear that same sound, only reversed. I know, it sounded better on the way out.
As I took in what my senses (save for my sight; everything is dark) were telling me, my brain fought to deny any fact to the matter.
Hell smelt like apple pies. Not just one, or a couple either. My nose was telling me that there were safely at least a hundred pies all around me. If I could only open my eyes to see them. TO behold such home cooked pleasures.
My bum meets softly with the ground and I feel it with my palm. Soft. Like pillows made of sheep (Okay bad a analogy).
If only I could look at what I'm sitting on.
My brain keeps shouting at me in waves, "You don't want to open your eyes! Its not how it seems!"
But it is so tempting. I can hear the same chirps and warbles of the birds which I heard the day I died. I can also hear far off singing, it is melodical and heave---....
"Don't think it!" My mind cries out. "For all that is sacred, do not finish that thought! Hell only seems to be pleasant. Your senses are lying to you! Even if you did open your eyes. You would see everything you would love to see in heaven, only, the moment you felt secure, it would be ripped away from you like a blanket from a child!"
I began to understand.
If we went to hell and saw fire, and devils with pitchforks stabbing people in the rump, we would hardly be surprised, and where would the fun be for the devil in that?
It is much more satisfying to see us surprised, then extactic, the deliriously joyfull, and THEN stab us in the ass with a pitchfork.
I don't think I'm going to like it here much.
"You got that right!" My mind yelled back.
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
After sitting on what felt like clouds for a few moments I finally told my brian to shut the fuck up, and slowly opened one eye.
It was clouds! All around me, spreading off in a pearly white expanse, was what seemed like endless amounts of cloud. Scattered throughout the scene were blue birds, flying around with ribbon in their beaks, apple pies with angel wings swirling absent-fillingly around, and a few naked chicks for good measure.
"Holy shit, paint me pink and call me Sally!" I thought to myself, as I took in the scene before me.
"Far from holy, m'boy." A voice shot back at me; though mysterioulsy, still within the confines of my own skull.
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
I think you missed this important quote:
"If we went to hell and saw fire, and devils with pitchforks stabbing people in the rump, we would hardly be surprised, and where would the fun be for the devil in that?
It is much more satisfying to see us surprised, then extactic, the deliriously joyfull, and THEN stab us in the ass with a pitchfork." - Hell is vurry vurry bad. Worse, even then you could possibly fathom.
But get used to it, cause its our new setting hehehehe.
-----
The thing in the suit and cap asked me what my name was, and I told him. He turned his briefcase on its side, and it hovered there in mid air. After snapping it open and ruffling through some paper for a while he exclaimed, "A-ha!" and closed it again. The briefcase obediently sank down and settled neatly on the clouds.
"You don't belong here." He said to me, as if it was news.
"I get that. I'm starting to think I don't belong anywhere."
"I don't quite understand, this has never happened before." The suited demon looked over the piece of paper once again before looking at me, smiling, and igniting it, causing it to burn and dissapear. "I'm going to try something, now, okay?"
There wasn't even the slightest response from me, before the demon had pulled a sleek silver blade out of thin air and heaved it in a whistling arc severing my head from my neck.
My head remained attached.
"Hey, you tried to kill me!"
"You're already dead kid! Come on, get with the program. Here." He handed me a letter.
"What's this?"
"Its a letter."
"Yeah, thanks, but who is it for."
"You really aren't that swift are you boy? Read the damn envelope."
I read the envelope, a little embarrased at my stupid question. The envelope was blank except for one name written in ancient looking cursive: Lucifer.
"What do I do with this?"
"Follow those signs, take it to the devil. I think he's the only one who's gonna know what to do with you."
"What's wrong with me? Why can't I belong anywhere?"
"It's not that there is something wrong with you," the demon began. "In fact, I think there might be far too much RIGHT with you."
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
Haha, I guess thats a compliment., Thank you very much. I will post the rest of Foonker far, but for the rest I suggest you check out Urbis.com or my myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/triplesm. Cheers.
------
When I looked up from the envelope, the devil’s advocate was gone. He did, however, leave a light green oozy trail which I followed intinctively. It led nowhere. At least my emotion were back and intact. I was pissed.
-----------
The lost boy wandered along the sea of clouds absent-mindedly. Whenever he began to speculate as to what was actually keeping him on top of the clouds, he would start to sink. After a few experiments, he decided he’d much rather not find out what was below the clouds.
--------
The birds were gone and that pissed me off. The smell of pie had been replaced by the putred stench of sewage and expired ham and that pissed me off and made me feel sick. The naked girls were gone, an upon realising that was the moment I thought about giving up. I didn’t know if it was just a cruel joke to tell me to follow signs that didn’t exist…..Well, yeah I knew, it was hell after all.
“Fuck this! Lucifer, I’m pretty sure you can here me! Get the fuck up here!”
Silence followed this outburst. Then there was a rumbling…
----------
What if I told you that the devil was a woman. What if I told you that she was stunningly beautiful, save for the massive bloody horns and jagged teeth. What if I told you that though her skin was blood red, she had one of the nicest bodies I had ever laid eyes on.
Would you believe me?
You shouldn’t, cause I’m a bullshitter.
The devil was a big ugly mess of a freak. He stood some thirteen feet tall, but I hadn’t been able to judge his size until he had completley arisen from the cloud-sea.
He was every stereo-type and more. He had fangs, and a pointy tail, and hairy goats legs, and black eyes, and a long beard, and red skin. The only thing that I found odd, and unexpected from him was his voice.
It sounded like he had inhaled thirty balloons worth of helium.
“So,” he squeeked. “What’s your name kid?”
“Tyler,” I confessed. “What’s it to ya, long tall and ugly?”
The devil laughed at that. It sounded like someone trampling on a room full of mice – squeek! squeek! wheez! squeek!
“You’re funny,” He said. “But this isn’t time for jokes!” The devil’s voice suddenly boomed and, though still high pitched, rang throughout my very bones. He grew several more feet…no miles! high, and soon he was all I could see.
The sky was red with the devils body as he reached down one massive clawed hand and picked my up by wrapping me in his fist…
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
That what if i told you the devil was a girl bit was great! It sounds more like someone besides Terry Prachett now. Terry Prachett is really just a Douglas Adams impersinater anyway. You have a unque voice. And I will follow you around the web like a dog. You are my favorate writer on this sight.
Woof!
EDIT: I cant seem to go on your myspace; are you sure you typed it in right?
I'm indescribably flattered zelithon. A thousand thank yous are due in your direction. I think Pratchett was before Douglas Adams though, so its' hard to say whois impersonating whom. I'd like to beleve they are simply similar because they are both english authors.
Dopnt worry about following me around, friend. I will keep posting foonkerpop here for your ease. You, my bigeest fan. . take care.
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
. take care.
