Young Writers Society

Gonna try to write an improvisational story, section by section, periodically. Never ever done it before, so it should be interesting.
Lets keep it set in the present.

Foonkerpop.

See. An average sized teenager and his average sized room. A boy representing the mysterious stain on the bedspread in the motel of life. A delinquint. See thirty six beer bottles. Some empty, most spilled. A sprawling man shaped mess wet from the night before. Soaking in regret.
See a hangover.

Day-Quil, Advil, Crest, Listerine.
Water, Tropicana, Aunt Jemima, Sunkist.

The bus ride sucks. So does drinking on a Tuesday night. So does throwing up in a potted plant and peeing in a slipper. Friends suck too. So do their girlfriends. So does whoever invented beer.
It didn't suck last night though. Neither did the shots. Neither did the pot. Neither did the cartoons.

Music, pot-stop-cigarette.
Outside, cigarette-stop-beer.
TV, beer-pot-beer-beer-beer-beer-...

Don't remind me. Never gonna drink again, swear to god. Learned my lesson.
Front of the bus. First one off. Smoke before class. Not today. Aunt Jemima is a vengeful bitch. Where's the boy's room.

Pretty darn good. Got my attention right away. Style is unique, and works really well. I love the sentence fragments. Really makes it feel like you're inside the character's head.

Thanks!

I'm walking out of the bathroom. I feel okay now. The bell rings, but my teacher doesn't care if im late. I'll be fine. God my mouth is dry.

Pepsi. Doritoes.

"You're late."
"Sorry."
"S'okay, at least you're here."
"Got that right"
"Rough night last night?"
"Sorry teach, I'm not at liberty to say."
"Take your seat"
"Yessir"
"Finish your food outside first!"

First period dragged along like a caveman's knuckles. I remembered nothing. Sometimes school is a waste of time.

i agree completely with rei. Nice and original. It's what i like to see!

Hey that is pretty good!! I like...

Carry on!!

There was gum on the underside of my desk in second period.
There was a lot of experiments going on in science.
There was lots of hooting and hollering.
I was feeling sick again.
The smells were like burning cat.

There was four people in my group. All grade A student.
I'm a C grade student. Shut up, it wasnt the booze.

I've learned my lesson.

"You've got to do something, man."
"Shove off"
"The teacher wants a report"
"Report this"
"Don't give me the finger!"

Hangovers suck. These kids are desperate to impress. I'm desperate to sleep. Brainiacs suck.
End of second.

Water-stop for breath-more water-more Advil.

I definitely agree with Rei and Muse. It's very original and I hope you keep going. I haven't really seen anything like that before, but it's cool.

Apparantly you can't sleep in the library. Then why do they need it so quiet?
Books are a waste of time, far as I'm concerned.
They say the first page of the bible is perfect for rolling joints.
Wonder if that's true.

"Ya ya, I'm leavin'"
"You can't bring food in here either!"
"Don't worry I don't plan on coming back."

That place was nice, save for the books, and brainiacs.

I think I can handle a smoke now.

Reach in pocket. Take out pack. Grab a cigarette. Light the cigarette. Take a drag.

All of a sudden...

Oooh, cliffhanger.
The style of this, to reiterate, is definately original and creative.
Slight nitpick: I didn't like that you left off periods at the end of someone speaking. I don't know whether that was intentional or not, just curious. Other than that, you're pretty good at the improv thing. Can't wait to see more!

Yeah it wasn't really intentional. I can't really say anything im writing on this story is intentional, hehe.
But I'm not going back to change the periods, the essence of improv story is: there is no editing.
I will try not to let it happen again. BUT, if you want an explanation, I can also improvise one of those (see below)

I wanted to leave the periods out because in my minds eye, I am picturing the action taking place in a sort of retrospective trance that the main character is experiencing. The bits of conversation are only appearing in flashes, so it is unclear to the reader whether they are sections of conversation, or entire sentences in themselves.

haha. that was fun.

Cliffhanger resolved!


Here he comes. A tankard of a man. A man whose stare burns holes in people's minds. A man, who if encountered in a dark allwy, would pull you limb from limb in a heartbeat. A man who has no heartbeat.

"Smoke! NOW!"
"S'been a while Bulk, though I'd never..GURK!"
"'Nuff small talk. Hook up a smoke, or I bash your face to smitherines."
"See the thing is...Could you put me down first?"
" (insert incomprehensible grunting noise here) "
"Thanks..As I was saying, Bulk, the thing is..."
"GAAAHHHH!"

I dunno why I kicked him in the balls. I guess it was the only possible way I thought I could survive at the time. I don't doubt that it was.
But I really wish I could stop running.

Park, Sidewalk, Post Office, Park, Ball Diamond, Shopping Mall.

Shit he can run fast for a whale sized human!
Thought I lost him when he tripped over the mannequin in the lingere section.
Persistant bugger.
Can't stop though. Not unless I wanna die.

Oh well, another good reason to never go back to school.
1. Useless information
2. Brainiacs
3. Hangovers...oh wait, thats not one.
4. And bullies.

What was school good for in the first place?

I ran to the dry cleaners and hid there for twenty minutes. Then I climbed out and went to the Arcade.

Street Fighter, Silent Scope - nachos & cheese, root beer - Time Crisis, Tekken.

Outta cash.

Its friggin hot out today. I'm even sweating standing in the shade. I like the shade. The shade is an escape from the harsh sunny glares of reality. Time slows down in the shade. Birds fly slower in the shade. In the shade, as my body temperature cools, my mind comes out of hiding, and I let it go off on its own. The shade is my reprieve.

Sometimes real life needs to give it a rest and let the shade do all the work.
Everyone would have a lot more fun if they lightened up and adjusted their values.
I don't know so much what I value anymore.
I let the shade work for me.

"Hey, can I sit beside you?"

Someone else has found the shade.

"Of course"

A cute female no less.

"Why you sittin here by yourself?"
"I dunno, s'been a long day."
"Tell me about it."
"Hangover."
"On a Wednesday?"
"On a Wednesday."
"Aw, poor baby."
"Ya ya, laugh it up. I don't think I'm going back to school."
"I don't blame you, its hot, and schools almost over anyway."
"I mean, ever."
"Huh?"
"I mean, I'm never going back to school."

K very cool weird but cool i agree with everyone it new.

Like I said before, that is pretty good. Infact it great! Carry on as you amy, I'm going to keep on reading!

My girlfriend stood up and left me there.
I guess she didn't like the shade afterall. She can preach to me all she wants about the necessity of an education.
I ain't havin any of it.

Well. The day is young, and the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the kites are flying.
Think I'll swing by Matties, see if hes got any dope.

As the young man steps out from the shade, time speeds back up. The birds counter-adjust to the shift by freezing for a split second. The child on the bicycle zips past in a seemingly super-human fashion. Of course, it wasn't. Only in comparison to the shade. He takes a deep breath and starts walking.

His shadow trails behind him like melted blackboard. All slithery and distorted from the heat waves off the sidewalk.

I need some shade.

Hmm... I like it...

It's odd, but most definitely original. I think my favourite line was about why the library had to stay so quiet if people weren't going to sleep there. Hee hee.