From the Inside, Out: expresses the hurts of an outsider

I have Tourette's Syndrome, (I don't curse uncontrollably, that's an extremely rare tic when I wrote this poem, my symptoms were much milder than they are today...now I do actually swear involuntarily, but that's a whole 'nother story) which causes me to make sounds/motions that I can't control. This is a poem I wrote at school when I seriously needed to vent but had no way to do it. That is, other than writing. So here it is....

From the Inside, Out


I sit, staring,
Eyes glazed with stinging,
Unshed tears.
A true fear
Was just realized.

I wonder how much I am despised
Because of the sounds
Emitted unconsciously
Through my tightly closed lips.

This is my reality,
Many people's nightmare.
They control every minute action-
But me?

To them, the inability
To stifle the unending chain of grunts
They emit from frowning mouths
Would be unimaginable.

They control every single action,
Their minds overriding
The impulses of their subconscious brain.
But for me, the truth is plain:

I cannot.

When they stare and complain
Of the noises I make,
It tears my soul deeper than I can say.

I have more of it to bear than they.
But they wouldn't understand
Unless they were looking
From the inside, out.

Whatcha think? I hope I just educated you a little a/b Tourette's Syndrome. If you enjoyed this poem, you might also like the one titled 'A Monster, A Fiend' in my portfolio. It's not about Tourette's, but I wrote it when in a similar state of mind... *yells to readers: Feedback Welcomed!*

A true fear-
Was just realized.

I'd take out the -

Now I wonder how much I am despised

This lines a little long; it is better off without the 'Now'.

To stifle the unending chain of muted grunts
They expel from tightly closed lips

In the first line I would remove 'muted'; it will allow the poem to flow more smoothly.
Also, you used the imagery of 'tightly closed lips' in the stanza above, and I think you should change it. Maybe something like: That emit from their locked mouths.

They control every tiny action,

'Tiny' just doesn't seem effective enough here. I think replacing it with 'single' would do just fine, and would give the same impression.

Their minds overiding

Overriding.

The impulses of their subconscious brain.
But for me, the truth is plain:

I cannot.

Simple and effective. Extremely effective...I also liked how you made it rhyme. That left a more lasting impression, I think. Much better imagery for the reader.

It tears me.

Tears like how? Crying, or to be torn? Specify this a little. For instance: It all but tears my heart in two.


Aw, vox
I don't know how you do it. I really think you've got a great way with words. You made the reader (at least me!) feel your emotion throughout the poem. I was being nit-picky, but other than those little things it was great.


*anti-pop

Oh my gosh!!! I love this poem!!! I wish I could write stuff that deep. It's almost so in depth I can't understand. I mean I think it is amazing!!! Thank you for telling me to read this poem! You are truely an amazing writer!!!! I am .... just.......I think you get it. But you need to keep writing this kind of stuff that way I can review all of it!!!

This poem hits close to home for me. I have high-functioning autism and i know exactly what it feels like. Good job.