Originally a ballad I wrote about a moth ago and completely forgot about... so... rip and tear Lovelies...
Three days ago, laughter bought a brand new shawl,
and every nerve could hear the world stop breathing.
Where there used to be a forest, now there is a wall;
three days ago, you mentioned you were leaving.
And now every step we take is cleaving
my heart in two.
Someday remind me that I have to tell you all my secrets.
I’m a better liar than I seem to be,
I know you say you don’t have any regrets,
for all you care, we could be separated by the sea.
Can’t you see my card-deck world is quaking?
Did you know you were the one who placed the ace on top?
When I tried to hint to you the sky was breaking,
you laughed and told me to smile at a raindrop,
and you couldn’t hear me telling you to stop
or you’ll be washed away.
Would for all the world that you would take my hand.
Then I could feel the tattletale drum ripple through your vein.
And every single star, abandoned, would be sand,
and every single intake would make you go insane.
Here, take a sip from my plastic cup,
foaming with a list of all my tears.
Red, with soaking string it’s all stitched up.
In between the ragged seams are all my fears,
bruised and purple when the veil above you clears,
don’t look away.
Three days ago, moonlight had no meaning,
and all the stars, still littered on the ocean floor.
And I sat cross-legged, with oiled rag, and cleaning,
the hinges on the door.
Now I’ll never know if murderers are creeping,
but when you open it, somehow it still makes sound.
Please don’t wake me now, I’m sleeping.
And I like to think I like it when you’re not around,
and I wish I could despise the day I crowned
you as my king.
And I am my battered violin that’s playing now,
but my strings are out of tune.
And through the strangely colored discord of the notes I see the plough,
abandoned by your hands, where my seeds are strewn.
The red and green of your name leaves smudges on the playground bars,
my blue and yellow is fraying like some re-used twine.
Don’t you want to know the color of each letter in a star?
Why can’t I find my white circles, and only a straight green line?
Three days ago, the china I was holding broke,
the liquid spilled, the earth it shattered, heaving.
My charcoal self crumbled as you spoke,
three days ago, you told me you were leaving.
I’ve fished for three days in these waters, seething,
and I still don’t know where my heart has gone.
Sorry I didn't rip and tear.
