A Way To Live

If all the world took flight right now
and drifted like a ghost ship into nothingness
I would kind of miss it, I guess.
Although this night keeps stretching
and my days are dumb and reclusive
I do sort of like curling up under a blanket with you
and watching zombie movies on channel 4.

I know it is better for me to never stand still,
to work and sleep and drink and dance,
write poetry, turn my music up, read Sartre,
but all I want to do really is sit on the sofa with you
and watch all nine series of the X-Files. Fall asleep.
Lying in bed until the afternoon,
watching images under my eyelids
this could be a way to live a life.

Well... I like the idea that it is informal and that you add things in our every day lives. I think it's a great idea.

If all the world took flight right now
and drifted like a ghost ship into nothingness( I would add a comma here)
I would kind of miss it, I guess.(Really informal. Gives it a weird twist.)
Although this night keeps stretching
and my days are dumb and reclusive(Comma)
I do sort of like curling up under a blanket with you
and [s]watching[/s] (watch) zombie movies on channel 4.

It is nice. A bit demented that you would even think earth would fly away like a ghost ship.
The 3rd line is actually good. It's as if you're saying that you will miss it, but not that much.

I know it is better for me to never stand still,
to work and sleep and drink and dance, (like the last alliteration)
write poetry, turn my music up, read Sartre, (I feel you're overdoing it)
but all I want to do really is sit on the sofa with you
and watch all nine series of the X-Files. Fall asleep.(I think Fall asleep can be taken out.)
Lying in bed until the afternoon,
watching images under my eyelids
this could be a way to live a life.

Interesting rhyme patorn. (7-8)

I don't know. The last 3 lines doesn't really do it for me. I think you need to work on that.

All in all, I like it. It is different and I'm not use to it so this is unknown territory for me.

Simple, but effective. I loved it! You didn't give the reader too much and didn't exaggerate on extreme detail. You kept it simple and conveyed to the reader the feelings that you have for this individual, who you want to spend time with. Even though, you didn't discuss a lot about the person that you were talking about, you lead me to believe that this person was pretty amazing; if you wanted to watch zombie movies and nine series of x-files, which is something I probably wouldn't do. You told me in a small way, how much you loved him and wanted to be with him. Great job!

[If all the world took flight right now
and drifted like a ghost ship into nothingness
I would kind of miss it, I guess.]

Good opening! Not only did you, indicate the depth of your love, but compared it to a ghost ship that would take everyone else away, but you would stay for love. To be with your one and only. I liked this part!

[Although this night keeps stretching
and my days are dumb and reclusive
I do sort of like curling up under a blanket with you
and watching zombie movies on channel 4.
]

You should the comfort and love you have with this person, by stating that you like to curl up under the blanket with him. Curl, is a very expressive and detailed word, that shows me the tenderness you have for this person. Kinda, sorta, like a dog or a cat, would curl next to its owner.

[I know it is better for me to never stand still,
to work and sleep and drink and dance,
write poetry, turn my music up, read Sartre,
but all I want to do really is sit on the sofa with you
and watch all nine series of the X-Files. Fall asleep.
]

You poured out your heart in this line and showed no matter how important other things in this world mean to you. That this person has captivated your heart and has opened you up in ways that you would have never imagined. I liked this too!!!

[Lying in bed until the afternoon,
watching images under my eyelids
this could be a way to live a life.]

Good ending. I liked how you referred to [watching images under my eyelids ] this was a good use of imagery. I really enjoyed this piece and look forward to reading more of your work!!!

Hi thanks for the reviews =] your responses are brilliant!

*Error* Read below post

The best I have read on this sight so far. Loved it, and related to it. Modern but not in-your-face or poor quality. It's very poignant and touches on existentialism appropriately.

Every line stands alone in brilliance- the tone is mature yet approachable, it feels like I'm listening to a student turned intellectual, wisdom beyond their years. This is the kind of poem I would willingly recite to an audience. Keep it up, I'll be reading more.