Because - Chap. 18

DELETED

That was very well written, at least, I think so. I think I see what you mean about needing to put that scene in there. I mean, I'm not one that's fond of sexual scenes, but I think I know what you mean when you said you had to have it there. I think, and excuse me if I'm wrong, but I think that we need to fully understand Becca's problems with Will and be thrown into the same confusion that she was, to see how badly everything effected her and to see how much she's healed. Well, that's why I think it was put there anyway.
Oh, and I really wanted to review your last chapters as well, but I haven't been on here in ages and hadn't realized that they'd come out. Well, I read them obviously, and they were very good. I would have commented, but everyone else seemed to have already written what I was thinking so...But they were quite good, making me want more. In fact, I want even more now that I finished this chapter.
SO...Now, to my reviewing, or should I say, my real reviewing. I didn't notice anything that stood out to me, no large mistakes, or anything. As usual. Well, like always, I bid you farewell, hardly able to wait until your next chapter!

SOUL

Hey KJ,

This was a really good paragraph. I really don't have anything to critique. It was flawless and the sex scene wasn't too graphic and I see what you mean when you said that it had to be there. You show that Becca is just a normal human and his normal teenage girl emotions. The inner conflict was a really great addition to this story and this chapter really added to the story's sense of reality. I love this story and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Well done!

~Angie

This chapter was really good.
I get what you mean about it being diffcult to write the physical scenes. Althought, you did an amazing job. My face felt hot the whole entire time I was reading.
While I was reading, I totally forgot about her brother, so when he showed up, it kinda brings you back to the fact that Becca and Wil should not be doing these things. Haha
I didn't really find any grammical errors. Hope the next chapter is this good.

~Nikki

Wow this was well written. Although I'd been expecting a sexual scene like you warned I still wasn't prepared for the graphicness. I mean it was just kind of like you knew it was going to happen because it had to happen, but at the same time I didn't know it was going to be like that. This is a very complex topic you started writing about and I'm only now beginning to realize how deep this might go. If someone were to skip this chapter I think they really would've missed the whole turning point of the book. Hopefully if you go all the way to the end with this, things will all fall into place.

Questions:
-why did Brittany and Kim stop talking to her?
-how come Anne didn't tell?
-how soon can you write more?

There were no spelling or grammar errors.

I know it was insane, I know it was sick and wrong and just weird. But he was beautiful, and I was lonely. I was flattered that he had chosen me, and hungry for recognition.
And the most insane fact of all? The most mind-blowing, disgusting?
I wanted him too.

This line to me explains everything she's feeling as she goes threw the little moment of sexualness. (wow, i feel really awkward )

-Moony

Sorry Didn't mean to embarass y'all

*KJ~

Uh.

Um.

What. just. happened?

This chapter was so...weird. Is that even the right word to use?

And I totally agree with you there. Becca is only human after all. Nothing much I can say about that.

Oh my! I laughed when you actually used the word Because in this chapter. Totally fits.

I had no problem with the sexual scene. No, I'm not like that. It just wasn't so severe. Don't worry, I've heard of books being really bad (sexual, I mean). It's pretty scary.

And, James and her father. I hope nothing really bad happens to them. That would be so terrible if something did happen. Well, I must keep reading!

Superb job!

*Merry