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Stori · 2008-12-02T23:41:06Z

Whatever else happened, I was thoroughly sick of "being" Terrence Rayne. I shifted back to my real form and breathed a sigh. "Not bad for your first try," the instructor said. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You may take the rest of the day off. But remember"- his gnarled finger pointed at my face- "you are not allowed to Shift without supervision." Yes, Instructor," I said obediently. I turned to go. "One more thing, Trainee: don't let your features shift." I ducked my head. "Yes, Instructor," I repeated, and hastily exited the room. Outside, I let the mild breeze ruffle my hair. Like all trainees, I had to keep it long. A short bus ride took me to my apartment. It was a simple student's quarters: small pantry, a roll-up cot, and little else. At least I had gotten it to myself; as the Grandmaster's apprentice, I was entitled to a little personal space. I quickly changed out of my black apprentice's suit and changed into a more comfortable tunic and trousers. Tying back my unruly blond mane, I flopped down on the cot.

Ashleigh Brown

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Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:43 pm

Ashleigh Brown says... · Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:43 pm

This was pretty good, and there wasn't a lot of things that needed to be changed. I feel though you should add a little more detail to draw the reader in. Other than this i can't wait to read the rest. :wink:

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I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.
— Margaret Atwood

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