The Weight of the Water

2 posts
User avatar
XavierJohnson123
Gender
Points 0
Reviews 0
The weight of the water is crashing down on me,
pounding me, beating me, and tormenting me.

The murky depths of its current swirling around me,
seeping into my nostrils, and suffocating me.

I can't breathe.
I can't see.
I'm weak.

I feel a sickness inside of me
like I'm a long way from home.

There is too much pain from the weight,
the pressure, and the anger that has been
boiling within me ready to brim over.

It hurts.
I'm almost ready to give in.

I want death to hold me close
and take me away from the destruction of the world.

The weight of the water. The weight.

I finally realized what the weight was
and where the pressure was coming from.

The weight of the water was the pressure of
the worlds problems polluting my mind and tearing me apart.

The weight.
The weigh of the water is all I see.

I thought that the weight would go away if I
intoxicated myself, doped myself, forgot myself.

But the weight got worse.

The power of the water was growing.

A dam was breaking
and cracks were forming.

The water is about to overflow.
Who will control the weight?

Somehow I will.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 202
I loved this! :D
The last line was very poignant.

'The water is about to overflow.
Who will control the weight?'

It evoked a very emotional response from me. Gave me something to dwell on. And you've perfectly worked on my advice in your last poem - resisted the urge to explain and let the reader become engaged. You're getting better by the minute!

xxx
Had I the heavens embroider'd cloths,
I would spread the cloths under your feet.
But I being poor, have only my dreams,
So tread softly, for you tread on my life.



You are in the wrong land even if the roosters recognize you.
— Nathalie Handal, "Noir, une lumière"