"Monica."

"Monica."

Why is she among the forgotten?
Why isn't she remembered?

She suffered the worst that could be imagined
she was beaten for her purity and kindred spirit
she lost all hope and faith because of one man.

She is no longer the proud little girl who would
lie next to the fireplace dreaming and singing
hymns in the silent of the night.

She is no longer the free spirited individual who
use to wish upon a shooting star her hopes and
her dreams.

Those dreams have been shattered
her hope is no more.

He stole her heart and had taken everything she had possessed
she was left contemplating suicide just to hide from the pain and confusion.

Her light was dimming
her justice inevitably fading away.

It was love at first sight when she crossed his path for the very first time they meet,
a candle that was lit by the flame that was residing in the passion of her soul.

She loved him so much and gave him all of her and all she had within.

But love wasn't returned.
Freedom wasn't reverenced.
Beauty wasn't salvaged.

He yelled at her when she was working
screamed at her when she wouldn't listen
beat her because of the very nature she had exposed.

Her depths were unknown
her forbidden fruit unpicked
the essence of her virginity untapped
the sweetness of her love and tenderness yet to be unveiled.

Why do we mistreat each other?
Why do we persecute each other?
Why did she bleed?

He drove her to do it
she couldn't take anymore.

The abuse.
The drinking.
The shame.
The pain.
The blame.

She gave up and lost herself in the wind,
drifting into the water off of the bridge where she thought she would find rest.

Her body now lies in the bottom of a river
the little bit of dignity she had intact is no more.

Her bright and morning star was smothered
her light put out.

She is just another sparkle in the the darkness of the universe
another beloved love song that will never be heard.

She is in another place though,
a dark place where souls have no rest
a place where she is forgotten and is no more.

"Monica."

Why is she among the forgotten?
Why isn't she remembered?

Wow. I liked this very much because it was deep and set out a strong message. Very good. I found no punctuation errors or grammar errors because you had me drawn in with the words. I didn't pay attention to anything else. Great job!

Wow, this is a beautiful piece. I feel extremely moved. There are no grammatical errors and no spelling mistakes. All in all this piece was lovely and it made me see it the picture of "Monica" and it made me know her emotions.

Have A Nice Day. Azrael

Hey there, Xavier! First of all, this was an absolutely beautiful poem. The only reason I'm going to nit-pick is to venture an attempt to be helpful - because there wasn't really anything major wrong with it. ^_^ Kudos.

[b]Why is she among the forgotten?
Why isn't she remembered?

Intriguing first two lines. Sometimes, simplicity can be misinterpreted as artlesness, but you carried it off beautifully.


She is no longer the proud little girl who would
lie next to the fireplace dreaming and singing
hymns in the silent of the night.

This is a very good verse. Seeing as the previous one was filled with emotions and concepts, having an anecdote, something for the reader to visualise, is a very good idea.

She is no longer the free spirited individual who
use to wish upon a shooting star her hopes and
her dreams.

Lovely image; but I think you need to insert a hyphon or a comma after 'shooting star', or it doesn't make sense gramatically. Come to think of it; this might suit the more abstract nature of this poem.

He stole her heart and had taken everything she had possessed
she was left contemplating suicide just to hide from the pain and confusion.

This is a bit long-winded, or clunky. It might read better if you broke up/shortened the verse. I would consider changing it to: "He stole her heart, took everything she possessed
She was left contemplating suicide just to hide
From the pain and confusion."

Then again, when you write poetry you normally have a very set image of the structure and message in your head, and changing it may ruin it for you - so if that verse worked for you, keep it that way.

Her light was dimming
her justice inevitably fading away.

I like the allusion to light in the aforementioned quote and how mere concepts in her life seem to be darkening.

It was love at first sight when she crossed his path for the very first time they meet,
a candle that was lit by the flame that was residing in the passion of her soul.

Again - very good job. I like the fact you repeated this idea of light representing events in Monica's life.

Her depths were unknown
her forbidden fruit unpicked
the essence of her virginity untapped
the sweetness of her love and tenderness yet to be unveiled.

This all had very deep, clever connotations. Good references to the Bible, etc. Very intelligently done.

She is in another place though,
a dark place where souls have no rest
a place where she is forgotten and is no more.

I LOVED this verse, it flowed beautifully.


Why is she among the forgotten?
Why isn't she remembered?

A very good idea to use repetition and end the poem where it started.


Again, this was a simply breath-taking poem. You must keep writing; you're obviously a born poet.

xxx