Young Writers Society

Stephenie Meyer uses the word
Incoherant
Way too much.
Like, find a new way of saying
That your stupid generic character
Is impossible to understand.

And yes, dear, we do
Understand
That Edward Cullen is
The vampire-supermodel-of-the-decade
But if you mention his eyes one more time
I will kill you.

And MYGOSH you could not
Possibly
Have made Breaking Dawn
MORE disgusting; ewewewew
I feel dirty even thinking about the
sexsexsexsexBIRTHsexsexsex

Stephenie Meyer, pleasegodplease
Learn
To write properly
And stop brainwashing my friends
Because everyone is an Edward-Obsessed-Zombie
And it's incredibly irritating.

Ha! I found this poem hilarous!
Just one thing :


"Because everyone is an Edward-Cullen-Loving-Zombie"

That line is a tad to long. try spitting it up:

"Because everyone is an
Edward-Cullen-Loving-Zombie"

Other than that, great poem!

Well I have to say I found this extremely hilarious!! Loved it just form the title, but even more so when I read the whole thing.

I have to say my favorite part was

Stephenie Meyer, pleasegodplease

Learn

To write properly

And stop brainwashing my friends

Because everyone is an Edward-Obsessed-Zombie

And it's incredibly irritating.

Because I totally agree with you on her needing to work on her writing, as well as making everyone brain dead over Edward- which is just...baffling.

Usually words sticking together irritates me, but here you used it very well. The only thing that made me think was this line:

But if you mention his eyes one time

I will kill you.

I think you should have added More in the line: "But if you mention his eyes one (insert here) time"

Thanks again for one great read!

*EDITED*
thanks to everyone for the advice
xxx

Lol. This really made me laugh.
This is really...outrageously unique. Good job!

1 gold star for you!

Hey Raimura.

I personally don't like this poem. It reads more like a rant that I would find in someone's blog from Bebo, MySpace, FaceBook etc. It's written with such a blatant and literal hatred of the novel, failing to make use of the numerous conventions and imagery poetry can offer.

Some of the ideas in this "poem" lacks depth. For example: "

That your stupid generic character

Generic how? Explain.

Stephenie Meyer, pleasegodplease

Learn

To write properly

And stop brainwashing my friends

How is she doing it? Is it not because her ideas cater to what a majority of teen girls desires in life?

In each paragraph, it expresses different ideas, but they never seem to get past "describe". What's written doesn't seem to work together well to contribute to the overall message to the audience. You could had kept only the last line and it would had expressed the "dislike the narrator has for twilight".

But after finishing this, I don't really understand as to why you dislike Twilight. Your points are so limited. I think it would had been better if you had took out one of the ideas in this poem, use it, and expand on it further. For example: The author brainwashing teens. Why is that? Is it because Meyer caters for the fantasies of the teens but fails to help them see past teenage stereotypes? How do you think Meyer should had written Twilight?

These are the ideas that I want to see in your poem of Twilight, not just direct hate of the novel without justification.

Good luck, and I hope my critique has helped (and yes, I'm aware that it's written for comical reasons, but I don't think its funny and the fact that you posted it here means that you want someone to criticize it and offer suggestions so that you'll improve as a poet).

Andy.

Hi,
Loved it! I couldn't agree more. She uses words that don't fit and stuff over again. If you ever do a sequel to this I have something that she over uses, just in the first novel: "I got (insert word) that had nothing to do with (insert another word)" She always uses this and it irritates me. I found this highly funny even though I like Twilight. My friend is brainwashed by and thinks its better then Harry Potter, which is obviously not true.

I loved it! I'm stilling laughing from it

Love,
N

Kinda harsh don't ya think?

LOL that was very interesting and preety amusing ^^

though your need to clarify more why you don't like writer so much.


for me I'm a big fan if her work , and as for the birth/sexual part sheesh she didnt go into detail sooo.. it could of been worse.

I saw the movie and yes it was good but it didnt meet my expectations.

Ok, Ok, this was kinda funny, but have you ever read Twilight? It might explain why your friends like Edward Cullen so much.
What about her makes you so mad, besides brain-washing your friends? In your next poem, explain yourself a little more. It would be a lot funnier.
Good job, though.

Funny? Yes. But I have to agree with Squall on this one, as funny as this is, it does not count as poetry.

It's a long listed rant about why you hate her, I dislike her writing as well, but there is no need for me to write a rant about and then call that rant a poem.

This was sort of pointless, and though there was obviously feeling behind it, there was very little meaning. Good for entertainment, but not exactly what I look for in poetry.

Perhaps that is just me.


Best of luck

OverEasy

First of I agree with this 100% Stephanie Mayer has brainwashed everyone in my school. But lets see...

And yes, dear, we do
Understand
That Edward Cullen is
The vampire-supermodel-of-the-decade
But if you mention his eyes one more time
I will kill you.

That stanza doesn't sound right. Its probably just me but try making the supermodel statement a bit shorter.

However like someone said before me, this is just a rant and nothing more. Just fix somethings like the variety of compound and you can make it a decent poem.

*cackles*

Well a unique approach to poetry I'll give you that. However it's more of a hmm....statement than a poem. Perhaps try putting it into a different format?

But I must agree with you on one thing - how come everyone is so hyped up about this series?! It seems everybody's addicted...well...almost everyone....

This is going to be fowarded to some of the girls in my school..

Do you mind

Do you seriously want this to be critiqued? You sound exactly like - and I mean exactly like - Twilight fangirls. The same arrogant tone, the same juvenile word choice, etc.

Also, the line breaks were so random that I have trouble believing you devoted much thought to where and when phrases should be given the dignity of their own lines. I recommend you only use line breaks when you feel it is important, and in most cases throughout this poem, that's not showing through. For instance:

And yes, dear, we do

Understand

That Edward Cullen is

The vampire-supermodel-of-the-decade

What is this? I mean, really? In some cases, there's an entire phrase; in others, simply one word. It makes no sense whatsoever.

I'm not going to critique any other aspects because Squall did a good job of that, but know that this is a poor poem (it's just my opinion, but after all, opinions are why you posted this here in the first place) that shows you don't have any real reason to hate Twilight as deep as do the girls who love Twilight. Just another jump-on-the-hate-bandwagon poem.