Always you

At the end of the day
when the worlds up and gone away
I curl up and cry wanting to die
asking God why?
swear I can feel you beside me
throughout the day
memories of you keep me at bay
I keep thinking its gonna be all right
Bound to be okay
hurts everywhere
it's a never ending nightmare
none of this is real
want to wake up
enough is enough
don't want to know you're gone
all of this is wrong
you want me to go on living
but not without you
you're always a part of me
though I cant see you beside me
even after death do us part
it'll be you who has my heart…

Amazing. Simple but sweet. Draw me in more. Give me a beef sandwich, not a hot dog. I know that there is more passion to your writing and ability. I want you to sweep me off my feet and make me become apart of your world. The poem was good but it was too simple. I want to feel and be captivated by a myriad of different emotions. I want to feel you. I like the way that you included God in your poem. You couldn't find any worldly answer to the situation you were facing so you reached out to God. This shows the severity of the situation and the depths of your problem. I love your writing and I believe that you can do better. I want to help you not hurt you!

Very good! It has a good flow, eve n if it sounds a bit monotonous. I didn't find any mistakes, but still something could slip.
I could see the feelings but you didn't developed it the better way. Maybe you should consider to put in a little more feeling into it, make it more complex.
Anyway, I liked it! Keep up the good work!

I loved the passion you put into this poem, especially towards the end. It might just be me, but the rhyme scheme in your opening lines didn't flow didn't seem to flow with the rest of the poem that well. Other than that, this is some really good work!